Kaepernicking in the Navy

Better get on this meme, pronto. Tebowing is where you bow and pray during a football game. And Kaepernicking is where you kiss your biblical tattoos. Now Lucy, the dog below, does not have Old Testament tattoos, but she is Kaepernicking with the best of ’em:

Kaepernicking dog
Kaepernicking dog

Glad to see Colin Kaepernick’s success. Is Kaepernicking allowed in the Navy?

Tebowing or Mocking?

James Brown, former Miami Dophins quarterback Dan Marino, former Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, former Broncos tight end Shannon Sharpe, and former Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Boomer Esiason

Tim Tebow and the Broncos just won a a hard-fought game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. And the above talking-heads, all of whom I like, were Tebowing in the post-game show. I think it is in good fun, but they may be mocking him too.

Of course, when you are as public as Tim is, you may be opening yourself up to this sort of thing. And the above guys are copying the outside actions without the inside heart. Maybe, possibly. But who am I to know their hearts?

It is a good thing, I think. Even if Bill Cowher looks like the Thinker.

Hand Salute: Kris. Thanks!

Tim’s Broncos Win It

On my morning commute, I listen to talk radio or work on language vocab. (!مفردات اللغة العربية هي متعة)

For sports, often it’s Mike and Mike. The Big Mike, Mike Golic, could be annoying, but the show is good.

Or if I am running late, ESPN has Colin Cowherd. Great guy, annoying voice. He stresses self-reliance on his show. And he makes fun of the Occupy Wall Street folks. Which wins points in my book.

The thing with Colin, though, is that he does not like Tim Tebow. He thinks Tim can’t win the big games:

Listen, you fell in love with Tebow, and I said get out of the emotion game, get into the common-sense game. You can’t throw like that and win big games in the NFL.

Oh well, Colin’s gonna be eating some crow. Tim pulled it out, again:

One of the most storied NFL playoff teams ran into a rejuvenated Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos.

Sorry, Pittsburgh Steelers.

The magic is back.

Tebow connected with Demaryius Thomas on an electrifying 80-yard touchdown pass on the first play of overtime and the Broncos defeated the stunned Steelers 29-23 in the AFC wild-card game on Sunday.

I guess I am looking forward to what Colin’s got to say about it. Don’t forget your Tebowing tonight!

Culling the Hurd

Fans of the Chicago Bears, it has been a tough week. First Tim Tebow Tebowed y’all last weekend, 13-10. And just Wednesday, Sam Hurd was arrested. For this:

Hurd was arrested Wednesday night as he dined at a high-end suburban steakhouse with an undercover federal agent and a confidential government informant. Hurd spoke of his desire to become a drug kingpin, authorities said.

The Bears receiver and special teams leader, who is earning $2 million this year on the football field, allegedly told his companions that he needed 5 to 10 kilograms of cocaine and 1,000 pounds of marijuana every week. He was also allegedly looking for a cellphone from Mexico because he believed that it could help him evade federal wiretaps.

Wide Receiver Sam Hurd, ex-Chicago Bear,  faces 40 years in prison

This is sad. By all accounts from teammates, Sam Hurd appeared to be a good guy. What I quibble with is players, like Lance Briggs, calling Hurd’s actions a mistake. If the allegations are true, they are most certainly not a mistake:

Bears linebacker Lance Briggs said: “I think everyone is (shocked). Nice guy. Sam is a nice guy. Well liked, well liked in the locker room. He was a guy we were just all getting to know.

“You hate to see this happen to anyone. We all make mistakes, but like I said, it’s just sad to see.”

Lance-Briggs: Sam Hurd made a mistake?

Lance Lance Lance. A mistake is missing your route, running a post instead of a hitch. Scratching your teammate’s car in the parking lot. Telling a ‘Da Bears joke. Even that time you abandoned your Lamborghini Murciélago Roadster on the side of I94, Maybe that was a mistake:

Lance Briggs’ Lamborghini Murciélago Roadster, abandoned on the I94

But trying to build a drug empire? No, sireeeee. Not a mistake.

As for Tim Tebow, his Denver Broncos play Tom Brady’s Patriots this weekend. And in Tebowing news, it’s catching on with the young’uns in high school:

Riverhead High School administrators suspended 17-year-old twins Connor and Tyler Carroll this week after they organized several “Tebowing” tributes to the NFL star in their school hallway.

Connor Carroll said in a telephone interview on Friday afternoon that he and his friends—nearly 40 took part in the last of three demonstrations on Wednesday—merely wanted to pay tribute to Tebow as a “role model, leader and winner.”

Connor and Tyler Carroll Tebowing? No,  just Tim Tebow who plays the New England Patriots and Tom Brady on Sunday

And in silly news, a false rumor circulated that Tim Tebow was perhaps/maybe dating ski champette Lindsey Vonn. Not true. She just Tebowed once and knew Tim from years past:

A lot of people are wondering what’s up with me and the Tebows. I’m just friends with the family. I met Tim and his brother Pete at the ESPY Awards like three or four years ago in the gym—we were working out there. I spent more time with Tim and his brother at the V Foundation Golf Tournament, and this year at the ESPYs.

Olympic Ski Champ Lindsey Vonn Tebowing, not dating Tim Tebow

And our very last Tebow allusion goes to Bonfire Brewing from Eagle, Colorado, who took it upon themselves to brew a special blend of beer called the Tebrew:

The brainchild of Bonfire Brewing in Eagle, Colo., the company says it’s just waiting until special glasses arrive to tap the kegs. But don’t expect Tebrew to arrive at a watering hole near you: Bonfire Brewing is a small company not licensed to ship its product outside of Colorado.

Tebrew, Sunday Sipper, from Bonfire Brewing

They’re probably stepping over the line on that one and some folks (at the above link) seem to agree. What say you?

A Crazy Week in the NFL

I don’t have an NFL team. Ever since the teams of my childhood, Eric Dickerson’s Rams and Marcus Allen’s Raiders, both left Los Angeles, I don’t cheer for anyone. I stick with College Football and catch the pro games peripherally.

Still, despite my lack of full engagement, this NFL week seemed a little odd to me. And, as I write this, there are still games going on. No doubt, we will see other craziness. Check this:

1. Is it possible to run 104 yards and not score a touchdown? Yes:

Percy Harvin, Vikings

Percy Harvin returned a kickoff 104 yards, but his well-known speed was not enough to get him in the end zone. To make it worse, the Vikings could not capitalize on that near perfect field position. Christian Ponder was sacked, and then Harvin and Toby Gerhart could not get in the end zone. The Vikings turned the ball over on downs, showing in a single drive just why Minnesota is 2-9.

2. Ndamukong Suh is a dirty player. In his latest infraction, he stomped a player. In a questionnaire (Sporting News polled 111 NFL players from 31 teams) on the dirtiest players in the league, he won. No wonder:

Detroit Lions’ Ndamukong Suh stomps on Green Bay Packers’ Evan Dietrich-Smith

Ndamukong Suh will receive at least a two-game suspension for stomping on the arm of Green Bay Packers offensive lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith during the Detroit Lions Lions Thanksgiving day loss, ESPN reported Sunday.

Hey Ndam, I don’t care that Ndamukong means “House of Spears.” You lack sportsmanship. Your sponsors better be aware:

Ndamukong Suh, Dirtiest Player in the NFL

Before Suh was even drafted by an NFL team, he signed an endorsement deal with Nike. Suh has also signed endorsement deals with Subway, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Omaha Steaks, and Chrysler.

Why are they supporting him?

3. I like soccer, but I hate the fake injuries. It has gotten to point where I do not believe any of them. None. If someone gets hurt, tough. Soccer players are the boys who cried wolf, over and over again. I rarely see this in football. But every now and then, a flop pops up. This one from the Bengals:

Jerome Simpson has been a crucial part of Cincinnati’s resurgence this season. Coming into today’s game, he had three 100+ yard games and is one of Andy Dalton’s favorite targets. As shown on this play late in the first half of the Bengals 23-20 win over the Browns, he is also quite a skilled actor.

4. I am truly sorry to report this. I have suffered this particular setback before, so I feel for Nick Novak. The San Diego Charger was minding his own business, when the call of nature tapped him on the shoulder.

5. In some “not odd” news, Tim Tebow pulled out another one. I never wanted to like him, but he is rapidly becoming someone I cheer for, no matter what. I hear whispers of people running him down, such as Jake “the Snake” Plummer. Well, Tim Tebow set a modern day record:

Tim Tebow Pointing to God

With four minutes left in the first half, Tebow completed his first pass. So it only stood to reason that, down by that degree and in a situation where they’d generally had to pass like crazy to get back in the same stratosphere as San Diego’s high-powered offense, Tebow would run the ball at a historic pace, Philip Rivers would have one of the worst games of his up-and-down season, and the Broncos would somehow pull out another victory?

Well, whether it makes sense or not, that’s precisely what happened.

Tim Tebow, Denver Broncos, Miracle Finish

Tebow ran the ball 22 times for 67 yards — according to STATS, LLC, the most rushing attempts by a quarterback since at least 1950, the Chargers’ offense shut down, the Broncos kept kicking field goals after Tebow’s 18-yard touchdown pass to Eric Decker with less than a minute in the first half, and Matt Prater kicked the winning field goal with just 33 seconds left in overtime.

Read this article on Tim being a modern day folk hero:

The values he embodies are an almost perfect counter to the nation’s sour and defeatist mood. He is relentlessly polite and optimistic, ferociously hardworking, and committed beyond all else to the idea of team over self.

6. Without Peyton Manning, the Colts are winless. The Colts! Is one player worth that much? Yes, apparently so.

Melissa Kellerman, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader

7. Let’s not forget Melissa Kellerman, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, who got tackled by Jason Witten. I posted on her earlier and received a steady trickle of google inquiries to my site. Melissa Kellerman Jewish, were the search terms. (There were other ones as well, sportfans. You know who you are.) As for an answer, I do not know.

8.  Chicago Bear Caleb Hanie spiked the ball improperly and got a penalty, along with a ten-second deduction from the play clock. And that ended the game in the dwindling moments of the Bears versus the Raiders.

9. Don’t mock other players. It could come back to haunt you as Stevie Johnson discovered after a TD celebration:

Stevie Johnson, Bills

So far this season we’ve seen a Detroit Lions defender celebrate a sack of Tim Tebow by Tebowing. We’ve seen Maurice Jones-Drew imitate LeBron James’ chalk toss in front of a stunned crowd in Cleveland. But as far as mocking football celebrations go, none was as vicious as Stevie Johnson shooting himself in the leg and then acting like a plane crashing into the ground while playing against Plaxico Burress and the New York Jets.

Johnson was penalized fifteen yards and expects either a fine or a suspension from Roger Goodell.  “It was very stupid by me,” Johnson told NFL Network’s Albert Breer. “I feel like it cost us the game.”

These were incidents that popped into the news cycle. I was not looking for anything weird. What did I miss?

Andrew Luck, the Geico Caveman, and Tim Tebow

This Saturday, tomorrow, is the Big Game. Not the big game, but the Big Game. Between UC Berkeley and #8 Stanford. To be played down on the Farm, with the Tree-like things/Cardinals three touchdown favorites. The facts and nothin’ but the facts:

The adage about rivalry games, such as Cal’s game at Stanford on Nov. 19, is that anything can happen, regardless of the teams’ records.

History suggests that adage is not particularly accurate, however, because the better team, the team with the better record, usually wins. And Cal (6-4) would have to play its best game of the season by far to have a shot at upsetting the Cardinal in the traditional contest known as the “Big Game.”

Stanford is about a three-touchdown favorite, and oddsmakers probably don’t consider the fact that Cal’s defense, which has been outstanding in home games, for some reason disappears on the road.

Do you know anything about the players involved? If you are not an alum of either school, you may may may know of the Stanford quarterback. He is somewhat leprechaunish in his appearance, despite being a 6-footer. You be the judge:

The Geico Caveman (left) and Andrew Luck (right), both Stanford graduates, School of Forestry

Word on Telegraph Avenue is that Mr. Luck shaved off his beard. Strange. He appeared rather of fond of it and even called it by name:

“I’m hesitant to call it a beard. I don’t think it’s quite there yet. I don’t know. I’d never done it before, so why not try. We’ll see if it lasts. When I get annoyed of it, I’ll shave it.”

“I got lazy after finals,” he said. “I didn’t shave and my mom didn’t say anything to me when I got home.

“I figured, why not try it? I don’t have to be presentable in college. That’s a rule, right?”

The lucky Mr. Luck is projected as a first round pick and, quite possibly, as the first pick in next year’s draft. In other Quarterbacky news, Mr. Tim Tebow, of Tebowing fame, pulled off another one last night:

Tim Tebow Pointing to Heaven

He is positively making a name for himself with fourth quarter comebacks. His Broncos beat the Jets, 17-13. And they are 4-1 with him as a starter. Tim needs to give Luck some basic beard maintenance training. Another case of the Bronco teaching the Tree.