Here is a first, a spam and peanut-butter sandwich. Does it sound good to you? Hormel seems to think it is match made in heaven. . .
I have comments in my blog’s spam folder advertising the following:
1. Brazilian Waxing:
I harbor the vague notion that this undoubtably painful procedure entails a full body wax. I shared my picture in this post here. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be for me? Bottom line: I would not be interested in covering my body with hot wax. Hot bubbly chocolate, well, I am open to persuasion.
Update: A more informed reader just opened my eyes as to the nature of the Brazilian. It is, to put it delicately, a private procedure. . .
2. Carpet cleaning in Thousand Oaks:
Does anybody need some rugs shampooed out that-a-ways? I got your hookup. My main issue is not with the spam, it is with the city. Have you ever counted all the oaks? 983, max.
3. Send gifts to Pakistan:
We do send gifts to Pakistan. We call them Predators. And they are very generous with their Hellfires. So far, no major complaints from the recipients.
And if there are complaints (hint hint, reader in Karachi) send coords (lat, longs) so we can be more surgical in future evolutions. Please clarify coordinates down to the nearest foot and do not move once sent. We will call you when we are ready. Promise.
This is called getting kicked in the Karachi. . .
4. Overcome negative thinking:
This individual (bot) had a very positive, cheery message. Apparently the way to overcome negative thinking is to spam out a bunch of shiny, happy comments.
Let’s paint some fluffy, little clouds! We don’t have mistakes here, we just have happy accidents! Little birds got to have places to put their foots. . .
Note: Bob Ross, the painter to the left, was in the Air Force. No joke! His hair looks to be about reg, for the Force that is.
5. Pole-danicng poles:
Is this some sort of exotic Polish pastime? And what is danicng? Perhaps you mean Pole-dancing poles? Now ish the time on Shhhh-prockets where we dance! Until next time, Auf Wiedersehen!
6. Cephalic vein anatomy:
I am not sure what product this site is advertising. Still, its spam complained about my misspellings while (you got it) it misspelled words.That six foot plank of knotty naughty pine in your eye really smarts, does it not?
Bob Ross gets the final word: So from all of us here, I’d like to wish you happy painting, and God bless, my friend.