In the Navy, Joey Bag A Donuts

I have not had a donut in years and my Shipmates seem to think this is hilarious. That not eating a donut is not fitting for a Sailor. That Sailors should be eating donuts! Whenever the subject comes up, I feel the same way Joey Bag A Donuts does in this picture. The Navy preaches a culture of physical fitness but prizes eating fried balls of sugared dough?

Marine Corps to Focus on Shorter Recruits Who Like Bread and Butter

Great news for all you short, toast-lovers: the Marine Corps is looking for a few of you!

USMC, the Few, the Proud, the Marines. . .

Where am I going with this? Good question. General Amos recently made some comments stressing these details. Let’s take it point-by-point, shall we? First, the height thing. Look no farther than the title:

Postwar Marines: smaller, less focused on land war

Pretty sweet, huh shrimp(s)*? Your smallishness is paying off.

Now for the bread and butter part. You say you like whole wheat, with salted butter spread generously on top? The USMC may be for you:

Gen. James F. Amos, the Marine Corps commandant argues that the Marines, while willing and able to operate from dug-in positions on land, are uniquely equipped and trained to do much more — to get to any crisis, on land, at sea or in the air, on a moment’s notice. He is eager to see the Iraq and Afghanistan missions completed so the Marines can return to their traditional role as an expeditionary force.

“We need to get back to our bread and butter,” Amos told Marines Nov. 23 at Camp Lawton, a U.S. special operations base in Afghanistan’s Herat province.

Leatherneck, get back to your bread and butter!

And we here at the Mellow Jihadi have a non-advertised bonus for you. Imagine you are shopping at Cosco (I know you go there) and they have free samples of crab-dip on Ritz crackers. It’s kinda similar to ‘dat.

Your free sample: what if the General had said the Marine Corps was like a drawer (cabinetry, not skivvies) full of knives? Well, chew on deese crabs**:

Versatility is the key to keeping the Marines relevant to U.S. national security requirements, he says.

“We’re not a one-trick pony,” Amos said. “We’re the ultimate Swiss army knife.”

Marine Corps Recruiting Poster WWII

In other Marine news (and this has apparently been simmering for some time) Jarheads do not like to be called Devil Dogs. When did this happen?

“I was stunned,” Kirst said. “I called my friend, who is a Marine captain in the infantry. He told me the term ‘Devil Dog’ is not used much anymore, and is usually used in a negative manner. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Wow. Searching for other opinions:

“To me, Devil Dog would refer to a ferocious nature, a fighter, someone who would never give up.”

Instead, the phrase is often used to replace “hey, stupid” or worse. It’s not the first time in recent years that junior service members began taking offense at a generic term typically used in disciplinary settings.

The Navy has had a similar problem with the term “shipmate.” Once a generic term for a fellow sailor, it is now perceived by many to be derogatory. That stems from some chiefs using it during corrections, “Get that rack squared away, shipmate!” or “What the hell did you just say to me, shipmate?” The junior enlisted sailors in turn use “shipmate” sarcastically with their peers.

Okay Shipmates, Devil Dogs, you heard the word. . .

Who You Calling Devil Dog, Dawg? (Alternate caption: What choo talkin’ about Willis?)

Your seafood explained:
* Shrimp is plural right? So I don’t need shrimps.
** No intention was made with the juxtaposition of skivvies and crabs. None whatsoever. But it could be funny. In certain circles. You know what else is funny? That bulldog above has dogtags! And a what-you-talking-about-Willis look. . .