Mohammed Morsi, President of Gyp-land

How many secret servicemen does Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi need to protect him? I count at least ten men’s warehouse-clad agents below.

I like the massive doves on the banner too. Nice touch, very peaceful. The giant head of Morsi? Also very professional. Although it almost looks like they slipped some subliminal writing in on big-man Morsi’s mustache. You will obey Mohammed. You will do everything he says. You are getting very sleepy:

Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi speaks to supporters outside the Presidential palace in Cairo, Egypt, Friday, Nov. 23, 2012. Opponents and supporters of Mohammed Morsi clashed across Egypt on Friday, the day after the president granted himself sweeping new powers that critics fear can allow him to be a virtual dictator.

For years, I had problems spelling Egypt. I finally stumbled on a useful mnemonic device for the proper spelling. Just think gyp when trying to spell the country’s name. Not that I’m saying anything about Egpyt. I mean Eypgt. Er, Eygpt. . . Ah, Egypt. Right. Egypt, gypland.

Columbian Prostitutes and the Secret Service: the Navy Gets Involved

Sea stories are tales that may or may not have happened. Usually, they are embellished somewhat for a dramatic, tactical effect.

That said, this yarn is not a sea story. I am sanitizing only one crucial fact, where the event happened. Otherwise, it occurred exactly as written, as told to me today by an old Sailor, known to be truthful.

Late last week, a Navy civilian walked across a parking lot where several Secret Service cars were parked. The vehicles were specifically for the Vice President.

The civvie is in the twilight of his career and was described as “crazy” by the old salt who told me this story.

So our brave hero strode passed the Cadillacs and, perhaps without thinking, knocked on the black glass. Either the door opened or the window rolled down. (Maybe I was told which? And I’ve forgotten or did not hear it properly. I was too busy fouling my weather gear to remember.)

“Yes,” the annoyed Secret Service man growled.

“Say, you guys got any Columbian hookers in there?” our stalwart hotshot asked.

No word on whether he got any reply. Navy Civilians: there are many civvies out there, but these are ours. Git your own.

PS For proof that Navy Sailors can tell a good tale, go read my shipmate Coffeypot’s knee-slapper about his mother-in law. Want a snippet? Enjoy:

We also have chickens in the yard. And we have two chicks in a homemade coop in the tub in the spare bathroom. The bathroom door has to be kept closed, mostly to keep the cats from having a chicken dinner. But the cats love human contact and love to be petted and rubbed.

Coffeypot’s Mother-in-Law, Dot

So we have to keep them in the office while Dot is here because she claims they scratch her when they jump in her lap. Well, they are cats, and I can’t help but wish they would drag her under the bed and eat her. But they aren’t very big cats and she is like a beach ball on toothpicks. They would have to eat her in her chair, and I don’t want to clean up that mess.

Sorry Shipmate, I don’t mean to revel in your nightmare. But your mother-in-law brings out the writer in you. And I can’t help it. . .

Secret Service to Hire All Air Force Retired Chiefs

Air Force Glow Belt

If you have ever been stationed at an Air Force base and have worked around some of their senior enlisted folks, you may/will find this funny:

******, you finally have a job!
The Secret Service is in need of hundreds of chaperones and who better than retired Chiefs of the Reflective Belt Police?

To all who do not get the joke, reflective belts are mandatory on Air Force bases (in the Middle East.) And woe to be those who don’t wear one.

The Reflective Belt Police: chortle, snort. . .

Secret Service, FBI, or CIA?

Go ahead, ask yourself the question: Secret Service, FBI, or CIA? Generally folks considering this conundrums are young Einsteins, ooops I meant to write eintstiens:

What branch of the milatary is right for me?

I am on my last year of high school. I am not an eintstien, but I do have ok grades. I dont know if I want to go to college, I will pick when I pick an MOS, a branch, and rank. I have been intrested in reconosainsse or airospace engineering.I want to join the milatary for the adventure, the honor, and serving my country.

Mercedes-Benz, Left Brain/Right Brain, Einstein

I am not insanly strong, but I am pretty well built. As a retirement job, I will probably do either law enforcement(secret service,FBI,or CIA) or be an airospace engineer. I dont want to be rich, but I do want a good amount of money. I would like to get married and have kids. I wan to be active duty. I dont know if I want to be officer or enlisted, depends on what I want to do as an education.Thank You

Go read the answers if you want to get disgusted. Be prepared to weep for your country. (Coasties, sorry about the link. You’all get called pansies. I do not in any way agree. . .)