Victoria’s Secret Blows It

Look, I have no idea who Victoria is, nor do I know her Secret. In fact, I once slunk into a Southern California Victoria’s Secret and approached one of the the stock girls. In my very best whisper, I rasped: hey, can you let me in on the secret?

Not only did I get slapped, that was one hellish weekend I spent in jail.

Never again. Whatever the secret is at Victoria’s, it certainly has nothing to do with college football. ‘Cuz them ladies running that store know nothing ’bout it. Big Ten fans, get a load of this shirt:

Victoria’s Secret Michigan State T-shirt

You see the issue? If you are Ann from Arbortown, USA, you would know:

The women’s lingerie company came out with a Michigan State T-shirt with “Spartans” across the front and the Michigan State logo on the back. However, underneath “Spartans” the shirt reads, “Hail to the Victors.”

The problem with this? Well, that’s the motto/fight song of rival Michigan.

Tell Popeye, US Navy Sailor, the Secret

I especially like the words Pink below the Spartan helmet. I know that it is the Victoria’s Secret secret brand or something-or-other. I have seen it emblazoned across, um, er, certain regions of low-slung sweatpants. That don’t ever see much sweat.

Now which one of you ladies is gonna let a Sailor in on the Secret? (Hmm, that sentence sounds hilarious! Imagine Popeye growling it.)

No National Geographic-like, mating innuendo intended. I just wanna be in on the mystery.

Undoubtably, there were a couple of guffaws in Michiganland over it. Or perhaps they were just too happy with how well their Wolverines played today:

Nebraska’s first trip to Michigan Stadium since 1962 was simply miserable.

Denard Robinson threw two touchdown passes and ran for two scores to help No. 20 Michigan rout the 17th-ranked Cornhuskers 45-17 Saturday.

Nebraska (8-3, 4-3 Big Ten) lost any hope of playing in the conference’s first title game in its debut season in the league.

Hail to the Victors! No Hail to the Victoria’s!