A NSFW Navy Conversation

Twice a year, the Navys hold a PRT, a physical readiness test. And our command had ours last week. After an angry-gram was emailed out by the Command Fitness Leader (CFL), about forty of us, all decked out in our official Navy PT gear, showed up at the prescribed time and place.

As soon as I got there, another LT took me aside and told me Hey, I gotta talk to you, (while  flashing me bug eyes.) He clarified his statement with: I need to ask you a favor. (And he bugged out some more.)

A favor right before a PT exam usually meant one thing, as in: I am out of shape. And I am worried about failing. 

I followed him to the corner of the room. Hey look man, he said cautiously. You know how I was 48 pounds overweight?

Yeah?

And you know I lost all that weight over the last month.

Yeah?

Well, starting yesterday after weigh-ins, I’ve been eating like an absolute slob.

Yeah?

I had five meals yesterday. Look, I ate a burrito in thirty seconds!

Yeah?

And if I have some eruptions when you are holding my feet for sit-ups, I want to say sorry in advance.

Yeah. Um, thanks.

I am being serious. (He burped into his hand.)

No, I know you are. Let’s go kill this thing. 

I warned you.

Hey man, do your thing.

Physical Readiness Test

The Navy PRT is our Physical Readiness Test. We take it twice a year, usually in the spring and in the fall. In autumn, it occurs around October or November. Woe be you if your PRT pops right after Thanksgiving, which mine did. Today.

It went well. I will just say outright that I got an Excellent. Not an Outstanding, a score I’ve received in the past. But just not today. For me to get an Outstanding, I have to get a little aggro. And it helps if I don’t have a lot to do right after my test. An hour to recover or so usually works. This time, a meeting was scheduled after our PRT. And I pushed myself, fairly rigorously, just not overboard.

My hardest event was always the sit-reach. It involved sitting down and extending your legs straight in front of you. And then when the test proctor told you, you reached for your toes. For some reason, when I was issued my body, my arms were a half-inch too short and my legs were a half-inch too long. No complaints on anything else, though. Except for my tight hammies. (Which may be the reason my sit-reach is so poor. This is turning into a circular argument!) If you can’t tell by the past-tense, sit-reach is no more. The Navy, in its infinite wisdom, canned it. I really should rejoice.

All in all, a good day pt’ing. Situps, pushups, and a cardio event. (In my case the elliptical trainer. I know. Forgive me.)

You get any good PT in today?