Gulp: Navy Wives and Girlfriends in the Same Place?

I love my PopeyeOn the NAVYforMoms.com forum, there is a special page for Girlfriends, Fiances, and Wives of Sailors. Some of you salty nautical types (I know) must be thinking: all in one place? This could cause problems, I kinda wanted to keep ‘em all separated… 

Just kidding Navy girlfriends, fiances, and wives. That was the old Navy. (And I am not talking about the store.) Us active-duty types are part of the new Navy. Yes, the title of that last link was: New Navy Uniform Could Monitor Sailors’ Pee for Signs of Nuclear Attack just in case you were thinking of skipping it.

James Hood Dies, Robert Chew Dies

Trending in the news this morning are two notable deaths. James Hood was one of two students (along with Vivian Juanita Malone Jonesthat George Wallace faced down at the University of Alabama. I respect James Hood, for his calls of forgiveness and moderation. Like this picture with George Wallace much later in life. Robert Chew was an accomplished actor who played Proposition Joe on the HBO series The Wire. Which I’ve never seen. Although some of the Sailors at an old Navy command (three commands ago, yikes) could not stop talking about it. (Note: old Navy, not Old Navy. My old Navy. Not the clothes store Old Navy. Or the British offshoot Olde Shiver Me Timbers Navy.)

An Active-Duty Eagle Protects Her Military

Lil Chantilly, of Heels and Handguns, is often on the prowl with her eagle-eyed vision, looking for folks with no common-sense when it comes to treating the military properly. And she found an article on a major no-no, in (of all places) Old Navy:

Aaron Bennett’s beef with Old Navy

Army veteran Aaron Bennett says he was banned from an Old Navy store in Jacksonville, Florida, after he pointed out a teen employee improperly wearing a Marine Corps uniform dress jacket complete with rank insignia, ribbons and a weapons badge, News4Jax.com reported Wednesday.

Bennett, who comes from a military family, knows that United States Code makes it illegal “to falsely represent oneself as having received any U.S. military decoration or medal.” The law making that illegal is known as the Stolen Valor Act.

One customer, Tacinta Connor, was quoted as saying she was no longer going to shop at Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic, or Piperlime. That won’t be a problem for me. I never ventured into those places anyway.

Self-Promotion: Old Navy Vs. the UFC Vs. Justin Combs

Let’s discuss promotion, an important art in today’s media-mad world.

A Mellow Jihadi Tattoo- for skinny girls, skater boys, slinky women, breakdancers, lucky ladies. In short: everyone

As for myself, in order to promote my blog, I haunt the neoned tattoo parlors up and down the coast of San Diego.

And I slip crisp 20-spots into the skinny jeans of the tattoo artists. With the implied suggestion that, rather than a highly tasteful fleur-de-lis slated for the small of their customers’ back, they tattoo: Mellow Jihadi, instead. Good idea? It can’t hurt, right?

Ben Affleck’s Dolphin Tattoo

After all, Ben Affleck has a tramp stamp of a dolphin. (Or is it a porpoise?) And don’t forget this guy, a tattoo’ist, who tattoo’d a tattoo of something unpleasant on his cheating girlfriend’s back (NSFW. Errr, literarily NSF for most Ws if read aloud.)

Why not this blog’s name? Tattoo’d across the small or big of an unknowing back?

Victoria’s Secret Heidi Klum in the Mellow Jihadi Navy

What do you think of Victoria’s Secret mistaking Michigan State’s motto? Do you think it was a real mistake or intentional, a couple of pop-rocks in the Coca-Cola? Some Mentos (the Freshmaker) in the Pepsi?

Let’s explore three cases of promotion in the national news today.

For our first case study, we are going to stick with the t-shirt world. So close was this train-wreck to the Victoria’s Secret boo-boo, that I am tempted to think that Old Navy is managed by the same geniuses. The facts:

Old Navy is joining the party with a series of women’s collegiate T’s that have the wrong founding years for three institutions.

T-shirts representing Iowa, Colorado and Arizona show that the founding years for each of those universities is 1820, 1878 and 1881 respectively. However, the real founding years for those schools are 1847, 1876 and 1885.

Old Navy University of Iowa, Colorado and Arizona T-shirts

Very clearly, just like Victoria’s Secret, Old Navy did not fact-check their products. Yes, they generated a lot of buzz from the slip-up, but it was not intentional.

Next stop, an old fashioned insult fight at the UFC:

Arianny Celeste, UFC Ring Girl

Chael Sonnen knows how to start a fight. Though his sharp words are usually aimed at UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva, he turned towards UFC Octagon Girl Arianny Celeste when asked about her in an interview to promote the World MMA Awards.

He was asked who he is supporting for Ring Girl of the Year in the awards ceremony that will take place in Las Vegas on Wednesday.

“We only had one and that was Chandella Powell. The other was the IQ card girl. Arianny Celeste kind of walks around and holds up her latest test score. One time when there was a title fight, she got all the way up to five and we were very proud of her.”

And he later added:

Chael Sonnen, UFC

Seems easy to wear a bikini and seems easy to walk in a circle, but try walking in a circle while wearing a bikini. Talented girl.

I am going to throw the bs flag out over this one. A UFC fighter getting into it with a Ring Girl? No, this is staged promotion. Nothing more than some professional wrestling-esque publicity before the real wrestling-esque fighting. Shonnen does have some shadiness in his recent past, I imagine he is not above bringing it to work.

Our last promotion is the old, dyed-in-the-wool self-promotion of an athlete. Sean Combs’ son, Justin Combs, is a 2-star football player, a cornerback out of New Rochelle, N.Y. And he just committed to UCLA. So he released a press release, of course:

Diddy’s son, Justin Combs sends press release about UCLA

“Today I am truly blessed and thankful to accept my scholarship and give my full commitment to UCLA. Playing Division I football was a lifelong dream of mine, and through hard work I was able to achieve it. I am a living testament that with a strong relationship with God, family, and hard work dreams do come true.”

Hmm, okay. Seems hardworking and earnest, no? But then again, Diddy’s son also said this during the Sweet 16 show on MTV:

“My dad is Diddy, and I’m going to take my throne as the prince of New York.”

And then this on Puffy:

2011 Maybach

At one point, Diddy comes over to his son, who is trying on ridiculously expensive clothes, and stuffs a big wad of cash in his pocket. Combs’ birthday bash is at a New York club called M2, where he’s accompanied by his date, Nicky Minaj, and the affair culminates with Combs receiving a $360,000 Maybach with a personal driver. I didn’t actually know what a Maybach was, but apparently it’s a really, really, really nice car.

Promotion is a fine art. Whether through accident or overt, it can be effective or snort-worthy. Should you see someone with a Mellow Jihadi tattoo, congratulate them on their fine taste. Just don’t tell them about me. . .