A Sordid Tale of Bored Rich Kids

The story of Morgan Gliedman and Aaron Greene is a sordid tale of bored rich kids, Occupy Wall Streeters, and bags o’heroin. New York Magazine has a great story on the two miscreants, along with some sharp illustrations:

Sid and Nancy with Exoplosives- Inide the Lives of Aaron Greene and Morgan Gliedman (Illustration by Tomer Hanuka)
Sid and Nancy with Exoplosives- Inside the Lives of Aaron Greene and Morgan Gliedman (Illustration by Tomer Hanuka)

Preggers Terrorist, Morgan Gliedman

This is Morgan Gliedman: she’s dating a Harvard grad and is a daughter to prominent New Yorkers:

Morgan Gliedman
Morgan Gliedman

And she was just arrested (along with her baby daddy Aaron Greene) with: a plastic container with seven grams of a white chemical powder called HMTD, which is so powerful, cops evacuated several nearby buildings. Police also found a flare launcher, which is a commercial replica of a grenade launcher; a modified 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun; ammo; and nine high-capacity rifle magazines, the sources said. Cops also allegedly uncovered papers about creating homemade booby traps, improvised submachine guns, and various handwritten notebooks containing chemical formulas.

Nod with me on this one, if you guessed Occupy Wall Street, you would be right. Now I am no gynecologist, but Morgan is nine months preggers. Which means in a couple of days, weeks max (provided Morgan is human and not an elephant) a wittle 99&er is going to come squirting out. Glad the coppers found all that explodey stuff. Could be dangerous with the little guy around and all. . .

Berkeley’s Bearcat

Good old peaceful UC Berkeley has gone and purchased a Bearcat.
What is a Bearcat? This thing below:

Homeland Security gives UC-Berkeley an armored counterattack truck, a Bearcat

Department of Homeland Security officials gave the University of California-Berkeley a $200,000 grant to purchase an “armored response counterattack truck” for its campus police department, to the dismay of Occupy protesters in the area.

“The eight-ton vehicle, commonly referred to as a “Bearcat,” is used by U.S. troops on the battlefield and is often equipped with a rotating roof hatch, powered turrets, gun ports, a battering ram, and a weapon system used to remotely engage a target with lethal force,” according to Campus Reform.

UC-Berkeley officials told Campus Reform they asked for the counterattack truck grant after a case last year in which they wrongly believed that a man was armed with an AK-47.

Local Occupy Wall Street protesters tried to persuade the school not to purchase the vehicle. “I’m asking, please stay out of this urban warfare stuff,” Daniel Borgstrom, an Occupier and former Marine, told the city council at a June meeting, according to Inter Press Service News Agency.

Ah yes, the local Occupy Wall Street protestor. I would go to him for advice. . .

The Occupy Marines Wrap-Up

If you have been reading this blog for the last month or so, you may have run into a post or two on the group, Occupy Marines. They are Marines who (as far as I can tell) are currently civilians.

I was hard on the guys for their support of the Occupy Wall Street crowd. You can see some pictures here of the things that angered me. We started email chatting, me and some of the Occupy Marines. I respect these men and appreciate the fact that they are open to dialogue. Here is a snippet of one of their emails:

Thank you for the much appreciated input and opinions. I am the Director of Operations for Occupy Marines. To speak for myself, I am well aware of the dangers that OWS’ers pose as a threat not only to society but also as a threat to the current governing process. I will however state that their ARE important elements in the movement that have brought light to some of the more darker things that go on while society carelessly looks over or doesn’t even know about. I am a father first and a Marine second. I would never be a traitor to my homeland for I love my country and it’s countrymen. What I do out there on the “frontlines” is educate citizens as to what is going on around them and inform them of their rights to voice their opinions the RIGHT way. I do not agree with the heinous crimes that select individuals, corporations, banks, and governing officials have partaken in throughout our country’s recent history. I swore an oath to protect the constitution and the people of my country from all enemies foreign and domestic. I will not break this oath. As the saying goes, ONCE A MARINE, ALWAYS A MARINE. Semper Fidelis sir. You may contact me with specifics and please don’t hesitate to ask my fellow comrades questions as well via OccupyMarines@gmail.com.

They also stated that they are looking to distance themselves from the OWS “Marines,” the “folks” who show up in uniform. I also got the distinct impression that Occupy Marines is looking to move away from OWS as a whole, the 99%ers, but I could be reading into their intentions that which is not there.

I work with a Lt Col who was prior-enlisted. He retired recently and I brought up the subject of Occupy Wall Street with him. He had a low opinion of them and was surprised to hear that Marines were involved. I have not had the chance to tell him of the latest developments. That the Occupy Marines are looking to differentiate themselves from shady groups.

And to the Occupy Marines, I wish you well on your journey. I may not agree with some of your political stances, but I do respect your right to hold them. It should be said that in emailing you all, some of you had opinions that I agreed with whole-heartedly. Not letting the Occupy crowd use you and the good name of the United States Marine Corps is the right way to conduct business.

Wasting Nassau, Cedar, and Water Streets

Working as a bike messenger, I remember some streets better than others. Broadway is one I can’t forget. Catch the lights just right on Broadway and you can sail downtown.

Nassau was another, mostly because we had a lot of deliveries at a building along it. In fact, checking the map now, Nassau only runs for a short while before turning into Broad Street.

Occupy Wall Street demonstrators dragged large quantities of human urine and feces in containers to an open-air plaza on Nassau and Cedar streets in Manhattan.

Still, I found this extremely disturbing when I read of Nassau Street, in the news for the wrong reasons:

The NYPD released surveillance video Wednesday night detailing some stinky business they say is linked to Occupy Wall Street protesters.

Surveillance image of an Occupy Wall Street demonstrator pouring human waste inside a Chase Bank ATM vestibule on Water Street.

Police said that on evening of March 14, a number of Occupy demonstrators dragged large quantities of human urine and feces in containers to an open-air plaza before pouring the waste down a flight of stairs.

The incident occurred at the corner of Nassau and Cedar streets in Lower Manhattan.

Authorities said that that same night, about 20 minutes later, one of the suspects entered a Chase ATM vestibule on Water Street and poured human waste inside.

Nassau is in the business-y part of town. And the poor folks who are probably going to clean the stairs and the ATM are the janitors. Congratulations Jordan Brooks Amos, you prove once again why OWS and the 99%ers are spoiled, entitled punks. . .

Arrests at Occupy’s Anniversary Rally

So the Occupy Wall Street folks bums are marking their sixth month of doing whatever-they-are-doing. And they had a little get-together down at Zuccotti Park in New York City. Do these 99% guys look wholesome or what? And why all the cameras on their side?

Being a policeman has got to be one of the harder jobs out there. Look at these hooligans.

Maybe twenty years ago, this movement would have been able to milk out their fifteen minutes. Not anymore. Yes, they will continue their rabble-rousing, but study this picture and tell me exactly who you support. The long blue line or the anarchist lime green one. . .

German Sailors Support Occupy Wall Street?

Okay, pop-quiz. Find three things clearly wrong with the caption of this picture:

German Sailors place flowers in support of Occupy Wall Street (Slide 32 of 122)

Start with the German thingee, observe the Sailor part, and then end with the word support. Extra credit for noticing the flowers. Sailors should not touch flowers whilst in uniform. Per DODINST 1338.1M: Flower handling in uniform is strictly an Air Force activity. No other service shall infringe upon the Air Force’s distinct whoricultural realm and responsibility. 

Please note the above does not remark on the Occupy movement, which is political in nature. And thus verboten for military. As a show of displeasure with Hans und Franz here, I am boycotting Der Wienerschnitzel. No more krauty dogs for me. Ja wohl, der kommissar!

Lastly, trim up your sideburns there, Franz. You may support the 99%ers, but you shouldn’t ape ’em.

Okay, one last run through the slides. To see if there are any morsels left. Wait, you gotta be kidding me. Taste this:

Delicious, Corporate Occupy Wall Street Cake (Slide 35 of 122)

You’da thunk the pie would be homemade, like a nice carrot cake. After all, the movement is against corporations, is it not? Me, I’ve macked lotsa cake in my time and that slab absolutely screams corporate. Also, why no dollar signs in Wall $treet? C’mon Brosephs, you’all are slipping.

Blood pressure rising. Eyes starting to narrow. Some veterans decided to protest a couple of months ago. In uniform. Not sure how this picture did not make the rounds:

Occupy Protest: 2nd Class Petty Officer and Army Specialist (Slide 1 of 122)

Take out the karaty diamond earring there, Petty Officer.

Shave your goat if you are going to wear your old uniform, Specialist.

I am not Army, but is that an airborne patch and a Screaming Eagle on your left shoulder? Take those off too. Better men than you and I died for that storied unit. And you only dishonor ’em.

Damn, I need some cake now. Got any?

Wake Up

Occupy Wall Street Oct 11, 2011

The New York Daily News has their yearly review of all the pictures that made 2011. The above shot encapsulated the OWS movement.

You have your mandatroy Che. And the bum sleeping, wrapped in the American flag. The Class War poster on the left. But it is covered up, so you can only partially read it. Oh and the 99%er playing guitar. I gave my love a cherry.

The one productive member of society: the businesswoman strolling to work in the foreground. . .

Tim’s Broncos Win It

On my morning commute, I listen to talk radio or work on language vocab. (!مفردات اللغة العربية هي متعة)

For sports, often it’s Mike and Mike. The Big Mike, Mike Golic, could be annoying, but the show is good.

Or if I am running late, ESPN has Colin Cowherd. Great guy, annoying voice. He stresses self-reliance on his show. And he makes fun of the Occupy Wall Street folks. Which wins points in my book.

The thing with Colin, though, is that he does not like Tim Tebow. He thinks Tim can’t win the big games:

Listen, you fell in love with Tebow, and I said get out of the emotion game, get into the common-sense game. You can’t throw like that and win big games in the NFL.

Oh well, Colin’s gonna be eating some crow. Tim pulled it out, again:

One of the most storied NFL playoff teams ran into a rejuvenated Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos.

Sorry, Pittsburgh Steelers.

The magic is back.

Tebow connected with Demaryius Thomas on an electrifying 80-yard touchdown pass on the first play of overtime and the Broncos defeated the stunned Steelers 29-23 in the AFC wild-card game on Sunday.

I guess I am looking forward to what Colin’s got to say about it. Don’t forget your Tebowing tonight!

Occupy the Rose Bowl and Occupy the Navy

The television is blaring the DVR of the Rose Bowl Parade and I am wondering what the Occupy folks are going to do. With the miracle of the internet, I don’t have to wait. I can google them and see their silliness:

Occupy the Rose Bowl Parade, Stop Foreclosures

Okay, so you are looking to convince people that your ideas are sound. You have a poster, after all, that reads: You can’t arrest an idea (above on the left.) Well, that is a new one for me. I have been trying to get certain ideas arrested for years. Like the idea we are supposed to follow fashion. One year, bell bottoms, the next: skinny jeans? No way. And to the clown holding the American flag upside down (on the right): is that going to win you over supporters? I don’t theeeeenk so.

Next up, your standard smug hippie protesting the hateful police. Come some armed assailants ambling his way, I’ll bet the below man would reassess that “hate” label.

Occupy the Rose Parade, Stop Hate

Brace for something a little different. The Navy is force-shaping. It is fairly standard in lean years. In many ways, I like the idea of keeping an agile force. Anyone honest in uniform will admit that we have deadwood. I truly hope we are cutting the bottom 1%. Some Navy spouses are protesting and they call their movement (speaking of 1%) #OccupyERB:

Call it #OccupyERB. Sailors and their spouses, infuriated by the service’s decision to boot 2,947 sailors via two enlisted retention boards, have launched a campaign for a review of the cuts, with a larger goal of overturning them altogether.

A Navy spouse set up a Facebook page — “Sailors Against ERB” — where sailors, spouses and their families and friends can share information and organize. Some spouses are using Twitter to spread the word and to share a YouTube video that highlights the hardships the cuts mean for families. These efforts link to their primary tool: an online petition to get the White House to review the ERB.

Why is this picture part of the Navy #OccupyERB article?

ERB stands for Enlisted Retention Board. The Officers will be next, undoubtably. The Air Force has already culled. My suggestion, if you are tops or close to the top in your field, you need not worry. Funny how that works. Also, I would avoid the Occupy label, but that is just me. . .

The Italian Job II (the Brazilian Job): Some Thrillers Are Hairy, This One Is Hairless!

I like yarns. ‘Cept the definition of yarn I like is stories, not this yarn:

MINI Cooper, Yarn Bombed

I’ll take the above socky creation to the below Orange Mini, created by the Irish fruit company Outspan (Fyffes) in 1972 to advertise their wares:

Outspan had three of these built in 1972, with Mini Parts

Interestingly enough, the new MINI is all-capitalized, while the old Mini is not. The salacious details:

When production of the classic Mini ceased in 2000, BMW (the new owner of the brand) announced the successor to the Mini. The brand name for the new car is MINI (written in capital letters), and it is commonly called the “New Mini”.

Not this Minnie

The new Mini is much larger than the original Mini.

It is around 58 centimeters (23 in) longer, 50 centimetres (20 in) wider, 7 centimeters (2.8 in) higher, and weighs around 1,144 kg (2,522 lb) rather than 650 kg (1,433 lb). It is now classified as compact car rather than city car.

On 3 April 2007, the one millionth Mini rolled out of the Oxford Plant after six years of production, just one month longer than it took the classic Mini to reach the same total in March 1965.

Of course, any whispers on the Mini or the MINI or the mini (not the Minnie) require mention of the movie, the Italian Job:

Charlize Theron in front of a MINI in the Italian Job

Word in Hollywood is that the Brazilian Job, the sequel to the Italian Job, once shelved, may be (possibly) back in motion. I sure hope so, the original was great. Mark Wahlberg appeared optimistic last year:

In 2008, “The Brazilian Job” was rumored to be shelved which has been affirmed by Seth Green’s statement that the project is dead. In a recent interview with Collider, Mark Wahlberg has sounded different opinion about the status of the film, hinting that “The Italian Job” sequel is going to happen.

The Brazilian Job

“The Brazilian Job is now kind of getting active again,” he says. Asked further by Collider if he thinks “Brazilian Job” will make it to theaters, Wahlberg explains, “Yeah, I think if it’s ever going to happen it would be now.

“But, you know, with any other movie that I’ve made there’s been talks of sequels but if we can’t make it any better or as good as the first, we just don’t want to do it. It’s just not worth it.”

It caused me considerable concern when I heard the locale for the new movie. That the plot may focus on another kind of Brazilian, ie: the famous (or infamous) Brazilian Wax. Possible movie trailer tagline: The Brazilian Job: Some Thrillers Are Hairy, This One Is Hairless!

And lastly, there exists a nasty rumor circulating amongst the fey Occupy Wall Street folk-ers that they are going to be pressed into the Italian Job sequel. Except the working title on this one, instead of the Brazilian Job, is Any Job:

Not the Italian Job, Not the Brazilian Job, But Any Job

Oops, Bunga Bunga

The following is a list of the Top Ten Words someone learned in 2011. Not me. I already knew more than half of them. Perhaps a better title would be “words that hovered in our national consciousness in 2011?” Hmm, nevermind. That does not sound too snappy, does it? The list of the Top Ten Words We Learned in 2011:

1. Supercommittee
2. Rapture
3. Cone of Uncertainty
4. Endgame
5. Bunga Bunga
6. Tebow
7. Gunwalking
8. Human Microphone
9. Oops
10. Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan

Some say a supercommittee will not save you when the rapture comes. Despite the cone of uncertainty on its date, there exists an endgame with the Lord. Don’t Bunga Bunga yourself. Make sure you Tebow in gratitude today. Also, no gunwalking your Christmas gifts over the border. And for all you human microphoners out there, take a shower and wipe out that oops better known as Occupy Wall Street. Who are we, Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan?

A Hollywood Hero and a Lawsuit Zero

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you’ll recall that I’m more jaded than a Hong Kong nicknack shop when it comes to Hollywood. The peacocky actors and actresses from H really get under my skin. Both layers, the dermis and the epidermis.

I lug around a mental list with two columns. Naughty or nice. And by nice, I mean pro-American. And supportive of the troops. Or if not, neutral towards both. That is not asking for a lot, is it? To merely abstain from announcing your opinion on our foreign policy, our military, our history. . .

And in the naughty category, I permanently marker in those clowns who think it cool, hip to run down this country. Do I gotta name names?

Gone is Jimmy Stewart’s generation. The Ronald Reagans. The Mickey Rooneys. When every star joined the military. Or tried to. But still, every now and then, an actor surprises me. Tonight’s super-hero is Batman. Christian Bale. I am afraid to do any serious routing around the internet, digging up facts on him. Lest I discover that he runs a hammer and sicklish t-shirt company. With cool, pre-perestroika designs.

Mr. Bale’s gesture is not an action he undertook in this country. Rather, he supported a Chinese dissident:

Christian Bale trying to visit Chen Guangcheng, CNN

Hollywood actor Christian Bale was roughed up by Chinese security guards as he attempted to visit a blind legal activist whose detention has sparked a domestic and international outcry. . .

. . . jostled by men in plainclothes from Dongshigu village in eastern Shandong province, where activist Chen Guangcheng has been under house arrest for 15 months. . .

. . .The fate of Chen, a self-schooled advocate who has campaigned against forced abortions, has become a test of wills, pitting the Communist Party’s crackdown on dissent against activists championing his cause and that of artist Ai Weiwei. . .

. . .Bale, who is in China for the premiere of his latest film “The Flowers of War,” approached the news network to try to meet Chen. They took an eight-hour car journey to Chen’s village from Beijing.

“This doesn’t come naturally to me,” Bale said to CNN. “But this was just a situation, I said, I can’t look the other way.”

Chen Guangcheng almost visted by Christian Bale in Linyi, China

Note to all the tools in the Occupy Wall Street toolbox, real suppression is not a game. Drop a deuce on a Beijing police-car and see where it gets you.

Today’s zero is not a movie star. Just some guy with a dumb lawsuit. Remember that lady who sued McDonald’s for the coffee that was too hot? This one falls into that category. John Ezzo was injured when he fell in a Segway accident. He was blindfolded at the time:

A Bridgeport jury has awarded $10 million to a 23-year-old man who suffered a brain injury in a Segway accident.

The jury on Wednesday determined that New Hampshire-based Segway Inc. and two employees were responsible for John Ezzo’s injuries in the accident, which happened at a company demonstration of its two-wheeled vehicle at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven in September 2009.

Ezzo’s lawyer, Robert Adelman, says his client was riding the Segway blindfolded and without a helmet. . .

Okay, so I am reading the article again and see he was riding a Segway on an obstacle course set up by the company when the accident occurred. But $10 million? No way.

Update: Hmm, a reader alerts me in the comments below that the McDonald’s caw-fee case is a more complex than one sentence would allow. . .

Occupy Wall Street’s Anne Hathaway Gets Engaged and Rants at Obscure Blogger in Announcement!

Adam Shulman, Anne Hathaway, the Mellow Jihadi

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Let’s get right to our breaking news: Occupy Wall Street‘s Anne Hathaway has gotten engaged!

Not only did the 99%er bag the ring, she actually acknowledged the Mellow Jihadi in her engagement announcement. And the proof below will shock you! She took us to task for our previous work, calling this blog “not good story.”

But before we discuss the tawdry dirty laundry, let’s scarf the details:

The star of “Rachel Getting Married” is about to have a wedding of her own. Anne Hathaway is engaged to her boyfriend of three years, Adam Shulman, an actor and jewelry designer.

The couple sparked rumors of their impending nuptials yesterday when Hathaway sported a very blingy ring on her left ring finger as the two strolled through Prospect Park with their dog. The actress’ her rep confirmed the news to Us Weekly.

Enos, Sonny Shroyer, original Dukes of Hazzard

Adam is an actor and a jewelry designer? Heading over to IMDB right now. Okay, his defining role is that of Deputy Enos Strate in Jessica Simpson’s Dukes of Hazzard movie. The bug-eyed actor Sonny Shroyer originated the character, a slice of thespian masterwork not seen since Don Knotts in the aviation series, Knotts’ Landing.

Hmmmm, upon further review, it was not the Jessica Simpson movie, but the bombastic prequel. That came out to universal hisses in 2007. In Spain, it was titledDos chalados y muchas curvas – El comienzo. (Blogger, who cried and cried wolf, confession: that is the real title. No joke.)

As for other acting jigs, do not discount Mr. Shulman’s star turn as Youth Voter #1 in the West Wing. Any role with a number attached signifies stardom. Marlon Brando himself got his first big break as Anonymous Mumbler #3.

Adam Shulman’s Jewelry

Okay, so clearly Adam is not about to burn up the acting world anytime soon. Let’s peer at his jewelry to the left.

Lightkeeper is its name. It can be found here. I don’t get it. The price: $1100. Wow. Do we have any jewelry experts in the house? Who can explain it to us? It comes with a pair of tweezers. Not twizzlers, tweezers.

On his jewelry website, a guy who calls himself the curator (like a museum curator?) remarks on the Lightkeeper piece:

“Adam Shulman is a Renaissance man with a wealth of fascinating ideas that transcend many creative disciplines. James Banks is a design byproduct of his beautiful imagination.”

Yeah yeah. I know a snorkling expedition when I see one. Obscure reference guide: A snorkling expedition is a snarky phrase, very often thrown around by senior military bosses to junior folk. I myself, received it once. Once:

Him: Ensign NavyOne, I am poaching you to join my department and take over Division 99 as a Division Officer.
Me: Great, sir! I think I will get 99 tattooed on my forearm.
Him: (One raised eyebrow.)
Me: (Weak, waning smile.)
Him: (Eyebrow returning to normal.) Knock off the snorkling expedition, Ensign NavyOne.
Me: Yes sir. No more brown-nosing from me.
Him: (One raised eyebrow.)
Me: (Weak, waning smile.) Well, for today at least.
Him: (Eyebrow returning to normal.)
Me: (Weak, waxing smile.)

Why is Anne Hathaway Mad at the Mellow Jihadi?

So as previously documented, Ms. Hathaway had some rocky moments when she dated a convicted conman for four years. She was known to be risk-adverse to hitchy relationships; the mama and paparazzi even dubbed her Anne There’s-No-Way, when they asked the 99%er if she would ever get married.

But the cherry on the weekend sundae was when Princess Anne took this blog to task in her final statement to Harper’s Bazaar. (Not to be confused with the emo rag, Larper’s Bizarre):

“So far, it’s worked out great,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “Mellow doesn’t always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life.”

Mellow does not always make for a good story?!? I am pissed. What’s she got against this obscure blog? Oh well, I’ll take the good life thingee. No such animal as bad press, right?