Sweetening the deal…

Those cheeky chap’s over there in Cuba really know how to sweeten a deal, especially when it involves ten thousand tons of sugarCuba says missiles found hidden in sugar aboard North Korean ship were being sent to the secretive state ‘for repairs’ article-2366581-1ADA5C46000005DC-158_636x383However, deep beneath the sugar housed in forty foot containers are two hundred and forty metric tons of ‘obsolete Soviet weaponry’ destined for North Korea. A simple mistake any one could make when packing in a hurry?                                                     Yours Aye.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Q: As you know, the United States never negotiates with terrorists. What would happen if North Korea had the capability AND launched multiple nuclear missiles toward SF and LA, and while they were en route to detonation Kim demands that Obama surrender? Would the United States let SF and LA burn?

A: You said yourself. The US never negotiates with terrorists, Look at the upside, without LA and SF, California might just balance the state budget.

Where I Will Not Eat: Pyongyang Restaurant

Is this possible? That North Korea staffs restaurants around the world while impoverished North Koreans starve? Before you tsk-tsk me for spreading propaganda, North Korea’s food shortages are common knowledge. Plus, from space the few visible lights at night are around Pyongyang only. Which is the name of the restaurant:

Pyongyang Restaurant is western Europe’s first North Korean eatery, an outpost of a culinary empire that has spread across Asia.

The nine North Korean workers, more than 8,000 kilometers (5,200 miles) from their isolated country, proudly serve up dishes the likes of which millions in their hunger-stricken homeland can only dream of: slices of grilled beef, chicken soup with ginseng, scallop and crab stew served in an orange.

The North Korean Pyongyang Restaurant in Amsterdam
The North Korean Pyongyang Restaurant in Amsterdam

The Amsterdam restaurant is listed online in North Korea as a branch of the Beijing-based Pyongyang Haedanghwa chain, which has restaurants in several Chinese cities as well as a popular outlet in the North Korean capital.

What an utter joke. Why not spend more time feeding your own people rather than exporting your Kim Jong-chi ’round the world. Ruh roh, would’ve been a better name, no?

Rudolf, the Dear Leader, Has Died

Sad news Christmas fans, folks’r a-hankerin’ for some of ‘dat reindeer meat:

Outcries over canned reindeer meat have actually led to a surge in its popularity.

Despite its status as perhaps the least seasonal Christmas dining fare imaginable, canned reindeer meat is a hit. In fact, it seems that a protest over the expensive pâté had the unintended effect of increasing its popularity.

Rudolf the Reindeer, Our Dear Leader

Here is what scares me. Rudolf is the deer leader of all the reindeer, right? I may have failed 2nd grade (twice), but I know me my deers and Rudy is one of ‘em.

As their dear leader, Rudolf is in charge of the other deer. Would that not be sad if dear leader passed? Oddly enough, the day the edible reindeer story broke, another story about a dear leader was breakin’. Yes (vigorous north-south head nod), that Dear Leader:

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer aka Kim Jong So ill: I’m so ronery

The Mellow Jihadi: breaking the news again. Into a thousand irreparable pieces.