Which is why I am happy to tell you about Squeez Bacon, a real, actual product that consists of partially reconstituted bacon made into an easy-to-spread paste. Developed in Sweden after World War II by a particularly creative chef looking for a new way to process bacon, Squeez Bacon is now available in the U.S. According to its advertising, “Vilhelm Lillefläsk’s Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon.
Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!”
Four slices of bacon? Holy smokes. This ingenious product is something that should be part of a first aid kit. Hospitals should stock it. Corpsmen should carry Squeez Bacon in their field kits. Bloggers should have a bottle handy at all times. And it is time for a Nobel Prize for Vilhelm Lillefläsk.