Rank recognition is crucial to success in the Navy. Salute a Chief (like I did as a Petty Officer) and you will be met with a groan. That said, guess who has been faking the rank of Captain for years? Cap’n Crunch:
The controversy began with confused cereal lovers but rose through the ranks all the way to the Pentagon who divulged that Crunch has no military records whatsoever, reported The Wall Street Journal.
“We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records — and we checked,” said Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s Pentagon news desk.
“We have notified NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service) and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer — and that’s a serious offense.”
Some supporters speculate that Crunch’s naval history could not be found in the government archives because he is, they claim, a Frenchman.
After all, he wears a Napoleon-style hat and the French Navy’s “Capitaine de frégate” technically only has three yellow stripes. But this is a hard spoonful to swallow because that title still only translates to “commander” in English.
In the end, the attacks against Crunch only mobilized his legions of supporters to stand by his side and fuel up on bowlfuls of his cereal.
CDR Crunch’s real name is Horatio Magellan Crunch. . .