Lebanese Protesters Protest America While Wearing American Clothes

Fellas, fellas, fellas! If you are going to protest America, at least take off the American clothes you like so much. I see Ralph Lauren, Nike, and all sorts of English writing on your threads. Please do remember for the next protest! Death to the infidel always, but only flash the Polo or rock the Swoosh in your down-time. . .

Lebanese protesters wave religious flags and shout slogans after Friday prayers as part of widespread anger across the Muslim world about a film ridiculing Islam’s Prophet Muhammad.

Ideological consistency will get you credibility! How many of you ate at KFC or the Hardees you and your caveman buddies destroyed? If you were hitting the fifteen piece bucket (and I can tell a couple of you chubby chubbies were) last week and are burning it down this week, don’t get all weepy when you can’t smack-out your beloved Chicken Little sandwiches. Don’t complain about the same old shwarma you gotta eat from your boy Mohammed just because you looted the other food options. And sure as heck don’t whine if your area is suffering a local recession because businesses refuse to move back in after your little escapades. Yes (vigorous head nod.) You just lost your neighborhood valuable jobs. Yup, you!

Welcome peaceful readers from Michigan. I see my Michigan readership has taken a nice bump up from normal. Those searching for: rage boy, pehavior, islamic boy, paki boy, jihadi, pakistan poles, this is not the people of islam, still in islam, sorry Americans egypt sign, saudi arabia barbie, pakistanis burning American flag, pictures from islam, pictures of jihadist leaders, not our islam profit, islamic terrorists t-shirt, goat pakistani, jihadi islam, burning British flag, call girls emirates ladies, and anti-USA among others, I hope you were not disappointed. (Above list was pulled from site data over last 30 hours. . .)

Secret: Strong enough for a woman, worn secretly by jihadis everywhere

Second-to-last note for you Lebanese brothers: I hope you all are double-punching your arm pits. As in: deodorant and anti-persipratant. One, two. Remember raised arms, angry gestures, perhaps a hearty, spine-tingling shout of Death to America will cause you to sweat. Do consider getting a Brazilian wax over at Fatima’s this week. She will dip your whole furry body into a vat of moderately hot wax. No, it will not hurt. Not one bit. No sir.

One last point on pungency: you don’t want the Brospehs standing around you to gag on your noxious bodily emanations. Yes, your lovely mommy may call you husky and pinch your cheek, and say: my dear Ahmed sweats a lot, the sweet boy. But your buddies should not be punished because you are the grenade of your mother’s eye. And refuse to dab on the Secret.

Secret deodorant: Strong enough for a woman, worn secretly by jihadis (sometimes). . .

The Cunning Muslim Bro’s Candidate

Do you speak Arabic? If so, you would recognize that the Muslim Brotherhood’s Muhammad Khairat el-Shater’s last name (el-Shater) translates as “the sly” or “the cunning.” Khairat, his middle name*, could be a derivative of the word “good” (khiar.) And what is the good, cunning one up to? He possibly may be the Muslim Bro’s presidential candidate:

Muslim Brotherhood presidential candidate Khairat el-Shater, خيرت الشاطر‎

Egyptian military judges dropped convictions against Muslim Brotherhood presidential candidate Khairat el-Shater, clearing the nominee of the nation’s dominant political party to run in the election, the group’s lawyer said.

“We have taken administrative, legal and judicial measures before the military judiciary and based on this, all convictions have been dropped,” Abdel Monem Abdel Maqsoud said in a phone interview in Cairo yesterday.

The Brotherhood said March 31 that el-Shater was its candidate for the presidential election that begins May 23 and May 24, making him one of the favorites to win and potentially increasing tensions between the once-banned group and the generals who currently rule the nation.

Nice Reebok shirt there, Shater. It is smart of be pictured in that sort of garb, it gives the appearance of moderation. And a toothy smile and a wave? Wow, we hit the trifecta: a smile, a wave, and a Reebok shirt!

Facts that make me more nervous about Shater:

-Khairat El-Shater joined the youth wing of the Nasserist Arab Socialist Union at age 16.

-Having become an Islamist dissident, he went into exile in England in 1981. After returning in the mid-1980s, he became an active member of the Muslim Brotherhood. In 1995, he became head of the Brotherhood’s Greater Cairo branch.

Facts that make me less nervous about Shater:

-The Middle East researcher Avi Asher-Schapiro considers El-Shater to be a strong advocate of privatization and free market.

You and your boys have been the unofficial Egyptian opposition party for years, Shater. Now you may get your chance to rule. Good luck. I think you will find it a lot easier to make noise than to lead. . .

* Naming conventions differ between the Middle East and here. What we may consider a first, middle, and last name does not translate directly between cultures. Often a father takes his son’s name and adds Abu to it. As in Abu Ahmed or Father of Ahmed.