I don’t normally post (much) on poppish stories, but the good name of Sandy Eggo has been defamed and I must defend her honor. Tell me what is wrong with this sentence: We all know, every single one of us, from bleak Bangor to sleazy San Diego, that singer Taylor Swift and boy band moppet Harry Styles have split up. Sleazy? How dare you!

Taylor Swift and Harry Styles

The real issue is that Harry Styles’ hair and cranium is 3.14 times that of Taylor Swift’s. Hairy Style indeed. . .