Miss America Dental Tech?

In the Marine Corps we always have issues with dental readiness. Young Marines are notorious for missing their dental appointments. At times this has become so epidemic commands have had to resort to charging Marines for Article 86 Unauthorized Absence when they missed their dental exam. I may have discovered a solution.


Sgt Theresa Vail is a dental tech and a Miss America contestant. Not only is she the first contestant to expose her tattoos, she’ll expose your cavities too. Miss an appointment with her and she’ll skin you like a deer. All I’m saying is if the gun slinging, bow hunting Miss Kansas were supporting a Marine installation it would save us a mint in charge sheets.

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

Bravo Tamara Courcoul, Miss Carcassonne

Whilst we are busy not watching the Miss America (hence the miss part of the title) pageant over here, in Carcassonne, France they are busy crowning Mademoiselle Carcassonne*. First, a little background on the walled city:

Set high up on a hill, Carcassonne’s ancient walled city is Disneyworld-perfect. This fairytale collection of drawbridges, towers and atmospheric cobbled streets was reputedly the inspiration for Walt Disney’s The Sleeping Beauty, and it’s a must-see on any trip through this part of southern France. Its medieval core, the cité, was added to the UNESCO World Heritage list in 1997.


Carcassonne is actually two cities in one. Besides the pretty-as-a-picture walled city and the hordes of visitors that throng its streets, there is a low-key, lower town that dates back to the Middle Ages. Known as the Bastide Saint Louis, it features typically French bars, shops, cafés and restaurants, as well as all the standard services and amenities you’d expect, and as such it’s the perfect antidote to the tourist attraction that towers above it.

Alright, enough history, let’s git to herstory. May I present, with any further adieuing, Tamara Courcoul, Miss Carcassonne:

Tamara Courcoul a été élue Miss Carcassonne, samedi soir, au Dôme. Elle n’a pas fait mentir le prolongement des prédispositions familiales en matière de concours de beauté comme sa mère et sa grand-mère.

Tamara Courcoul, Miss Carcassonne
Tamara Courcoul, Miss Carcassonne

Comme sa mère, Béatrice, dans les années 80, et sa grand-mère, Barbara, dans les années 60, la jeune femme de 17 ans, élève de l’institut… de beauté Sybelle, a été sacrée par le jury du concours organisé dans le cadre du festival Cité Jeunes.

The translation is here; but to gist it, Tamara Courcoul is following in the petite footsteps of her mother and grandmother, Béatrice and Barbara respectively. Both were prior winners of the vaunted title. Bravo Mademoiselle Tamara!

Whoah, a last-second, editorial lifeboat hollered at me that this is last November’s news. And undoubtably, you all are familiar with Tamara de Carcassonne. I may have to hire more employees for my already over-worked, under-(the table)-compensated complaint department. Standards- they are not only boozy, smoky Franky songs.

Paging Miss Montana, Miss DC, Miss Maryland, and Miss Alabama

Allyn Rose, Miss America 2013, Miss Maryland, Miss DC
Allyn Rose, Miss America 2013, Miss Maryland, Miss DC?

The Miss America beauty pageant is usually a tame affair. Ladies from all our fifty states (plus the District and other territories) highlight their various skills and try to keep their cheese soufflés together as they strut around in their swimsuits.

But this year, a couple of compelling stories are invading the internet. Like Miss Montana, Alexis Wineman, who is the first Miss America contestant with autism.

Or Miss DC, Allyn Rose, who intends to go under the knife and receive a double mastectomy after the pageant is over. (She is representing DC, but was also Miss Maryland according to another news source?)

Probably should add Miss Alabama to the mix. Katherine Webb bagged a Sports Illustrated spot after her appearance at the NCAA National Championship game. SI, si!

Special Update: Did you know that Mariah Cary is Miss Iowa?

Also Special: Brooklyn in ‘da house, Miss New York Mallory Hagan wins Miss America!

Miss America Missing

Miss America, Miss Wisconsin Laura Kaeppeler

Laura Kaeppeler from Kenosha, Wisconsin is your new Miss America. Open your ears ‘Mericans, and hark her words:

“Miss America represents everyone, so I think the message to political candidates is that they represent everyone as well,” she said.

“And so in these economic times, we need to be looking forward to what America needs, and I think Miss America needs to represent all.”

Hmm, this is a curious turn of events. What America needs? How about joining the Navy and asking what you can do for your country:

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country. -JFK

Nevermind, sorry. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned. Carry on as before.