So Roy Halladay took a holiday with Chris Carpenter and B.J Ryan. The major leaguers went to Brazil, looking to do some angling. Before you jump to any conclusions, the boys are not big trigonometry buffs (ie: obtuse angles and triangles and cosines), nor were they angling for good deals at the local market on somewhat dry goods. These hard-ballers went fishin’ on the Amazon.net. (Um, check that, on the Amazon with a rod and net.)
And guess what mystery animal nearly caught a local? An anaconda:
On a recent fishing expedition to Brazil with buddy Chris Carpenter of the St. Louis Cardinals (and former major league closer B.J. Ryan), Roy Halladay helped to rescue a local fisherman who had been wounded by — gulp — an anaconda.
Bassmaster Skeet Reese, the guide, had this to announce on his blog:
What we were able to figure out is that he was fishing in the river for tropical fish to sell for aquariums when he got attacked by an anaconda.
The snake apparently bit him on the [butt] but he was able to free himself before the snake wrapped him up. Instead the snake wrapped around his motor on the back of his little 14 foot dugout canoe and tore it off the back of his boat. Doc and I helped him gather his gear and flip the boat back over and then towed him home. You could definitely see the bite mark on his [booty], but he was able to fight it off; amazing.
Amazing indeed. I once had a boss who told me to speed up a project I was doing. LT NavyOne, you had better kick it into high gear. If you don’t finish that tasker, it is really going to come back and bite us on the butt. I wonder if that anaconda was a Navy Lieutenant Commander who retired in 2009? If so: Sir, anger management classes may be in order.
Many anger management dojos even offer a military discount. Not that I have been researching it, I am not angry. What makes you think I am angry? I’ll show you angry!
Major league question: What in the Sam Hill was Chris Carpenter doing during all the snakey games? This:
Was Carpenter like Marlin Perkins chilling in tent while Jim Fowler wrestled tigers out in the bush on “Wild Kingdom”? Not quite. Now, don’t get too excited by this, Cards fans, but Carpenter injured his toe on the trip, banging it on the side of the boat. He also caught some nice fish — apparently everyone did — and he shot a caiman (a cousin to the American Alligator)
Major league question number two: Who is this Sam Hill guy and why so many questions?
The Brazilian government is considering moving the anacondas into a temporary structure where they can be safe from human encroachment. And by encroachment, I mean humans innocently wandering by before getting scarfed. The Brazilians intend to name the snake structures anacondos.
I’ll bet Halladay schedules his next holly on some bass lake closer to him. Where the big-mouth don’t constrict and the only bite threat comes from the two-pound skeeters. And they can take A-Rod along with him. Does Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod, got a nick-name for an angler or what?