Here is a lesson in creative writing.

First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.

And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I’m kidding.

For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I’m kidding.

We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I’m kidding.

 –Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country*

Drill instructors from Marine Corps Recruit Depots San Diego and Parris Island, S.C., physically train Marine Corps Recruiting Substation Chandler enlistees at the Arrowhead Meadows Park in Chandler, Ariz., on Wednesday. The enlistees are part of the delayed entry program and are awaiting their dates to ship to boot camp. The drill instructors are visiting the Phoenix region through Saturday to provide enlistees and potential applicants a firsthand preview of what they may be able to expect once they step onto the yellow footprints.

* Kurt V’s book was written in 2007. Look at how naively surperior his other quotes are. Comparing us to Nazis? I suppose that was acceptable in those dark days.