WWE’s Layla, the Muppets, and the Troops

World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE, sponsored an event in Norfolk to honor the troops. Celebrities were in attendance, including the Muppets: 

The Muppets, Flo Rida and Kid Rock were on hand in Norfolk, Va., to honor the brave men and women of the U.S. military. In addition, a number of celebrities offered thanks and special messages for the troops.

The Muppets hang out with Layla at the 10th anniversary of WWE’s Tribute to the Troops.
The Muppets hang out with Layla at the 10th anniversary of WWE’s Tribute to the Troops.

Hey, that almost looks like Beaker. Memememememe. . . .

Saluting with the Left Hand

I am driving onto base. A civilian stands with a clipboard, waiting for me to pull up. He checks my ID and salutes. I narrow my eyes. Did he really just do that? Salute with his left hand? Grimacing, I salute back. He is a civvie after all.

Eric Decker, Broncos, Saluting the Troops

Another salute story gone wrong? A Denver Bronco, Eric Decker, popped off a salute in honor of the troops this last weekend.

Him and his fellow Broncs were in a dog-fight of a game and he wanted to render honors. So he dropped to one knee and rogered off a quickie after scoring a touchdown on a 56-yard huck from Tim Tebow. One tiny problem, league rules forbid celebrating from the ground. And one knee constitutes the ground:

Rules truly are rules in the NFL. To the league’s credit, they don’t allow exceptions. . . Eric Decker got a taste of that on Sunday when he dropped to one knee and saluted the American veterans, which of course was against the rules because he went to the ground to celebrate.

Um Mr. Decker, you were a Minnesota Golden Gopher, right? That is, you played wide receiver in the Big-10 (or whatever it might be known as by the time you read this)? Surely you had a ROTC program at that venerable establishment. Or perhaps, you’ve watched movies of military folks saluting?

Eric Decker

We love the military love over here, but let’s work on getting the correct hand involved. In America, we salute with our right hand. Not our left.

Also, you look a little too Chris Columbus off the Florida Keys, sighting land. (Florida Keys, not historically accurate, but literarily – not literally – more vibrant than the actual locale.) Less Dora the Explorer and more Colonel Nathan Jessup next time, please.

Not Eric Decker

In a not-so-completely random connection, when I was deployed to that sandy paradise us Navy folk like to refer to as not home, Kid rocked it up and down our block. For a USO-ish visit.

And Rock brought several other miscreants along for his military tour, folks like the comedian Carlos Mencia and a young almost-country singer by the name of Jessie James.

Jessica Jessie James

Lil’ Jessie was talented. She now goes by the more serious name Jessica James. Good choice. Lose the outlaw, maybe gain an in-law. . .

So why would I mention the young lass? According to wikipedia, she is dating no other than Chris Columbus Eric Decker, the serial mis-saluter.

Since when did wikipedia start tracking the dating life of the starry set? I shudder for the poor squirrel in charge of editing Warren Beatty’s or Madonna’s entry. (In a stunning display of statistics, both actually dated each other! Which is not how I came up with their names. My thought: who is the biggest male getter around’her? And the biggest female get’her arounder? Answer: Warren and Oh Donna.)

Dora the Explorer

Jessica James is clearly patriotic. She toured the mid-east after all. With Mr. Rock (the musician, not the wrestler-turned-method-actor.)

Please, no one tell Jessica that her wide deceiver boyfriend can’t salute. Truly, we forgive him. As already stated, us in the military love the love.

Final score of the game, Denver Broncos 17 – Kansas City Chiefs 10. Deep thought: what are Chiefs doing in Kansas City anyway? There’s no Navy base for miles. Dunkin’ Donuts, on the other hand.