The British Embassy in Kabul has installed a new piece of gear often found in high-security prisons. It is called the BOSS, the Body Orifice Security Scanner. And yup, it does exactly what its title says it does.
Merry Christmas and a late Happy Hanukah to you all! If you are deployed, may you come home safe and may we be victorious in our mission.
Remind me not to volunteer for any public demonstrations, especially those involving newly graduated Afghan police officers in the Laghman province, east of Kabul:
And from the same source, but a different pictorial essay, we have the latest hijab stylings:
Whoops, stand down. That is not a mid-eastern woman, but a ghost. In a haunted house.
What if Nike tried to spin the classic blue burka? Would it look something like this:
Hey, you gonna ride that motorcycle or just drape yourself on it?
The weather, it’s a-turnin’ colder in Afghan-a-lemonade-stand. Want some proof? This:
Poor guys. Their country’s entangled in the full-nelson of tribalism, a curse in this day and age. Another frosty indication is this nugget from the hairy-hatted Hamid Karzai:
KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — Afghan President Hamid Karzai has said if the United States and Pakistan ever went to war, his country would back Islamabad, drawing a sharp rebuke Sunday from Afghan lawmakers who claimed the country’s top officials were adopting hypocritical positions.
The scenario is exceedingly unlikely and appears to be less a serious statement of policy than an Afghan overture to Pakistan, just days after Karzai and U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said Islamabad must do more to crack down on militants using its territory as a staging ground for attacks on Afghanistan.
“If fighting starts between Pakistan and the U.S., we are beside Pakistan,” Karzai said is an interview with private Pakistani television station GEO that aired Saturday.
“If Pakistan is attacked and the people of Pakistan need Afghanistan’s help, Afghanistan will be there with you.”
At least with the first name Hamid, we know Ham’d does not keep halal.
Let’s sail west, shall we, to the warmer clime of Marin-tin-tin-land. Home to our friend, the renowned fashionista and well-tempered bloggalier, Bookworm. Ladies, Gentlemen, and San (not Don) Franciscans, Book has finally confessed that she is:
a barefoot person. Although I was a fashion plate in my 20s (when they still made petites for short people not medium ones, and when I thought I had money to burn), my style today is very utilitarian.
As a barefoot person, was she referencing the below specimen?
How did that bear foot happen? Simple:
Tom Boddingham was trying to order a size 14.5 monster slipper from an online company, Monster Slippers, but he must have put the decimal point in the wrong position. Because when the monster slipper arrived at his door it was bigger than him.
Boddingham told the Daily Mail:
“It was sent directly from Hong Kong and measures 210 x 130 x 65cm – the same length as a grizzly bear or a family car. I must be the owner of the biggest slipper in the world… I’m going to sell it online, and if I can make a few quid out of it then all the better.”
Final thought: All intelligence indicates that Bookworm does not suffer a known weakness for bear footsies. Nor has she ever wroten the verboten about said moccasins or considered christening her blog the Barefooted Blawger. (Although a nasty rumor, circulating amongst certain villainous circles, postulates that she very nearly almost titled her literary cottage: das Laundresse. . .)