Justin Kaliebe, Amateur Jihadi

In terms of fighting jihadis, it is not the ones outside of the United States that really concern me. It is the self-radicalized ones that could pose a real longterm threat:

A New York high school student secretly pleaded guilty to federal charges accusing him of trying to join an offshoot of al-Qaida in Yemen so he could die fighting jihad, authorities said Wednesday.

In January, Justin Kaliebe told an undercover operative pretending to be a confidant, “There is no way out for me. … The only way out is martyrdom,” according to court papers.

A record of the American citizen’s computer activity suggested he was influenced by the lectures of cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, the militant leader who was killed in a 2011 U.S. drone strike in Yemen, the papers said.

Counterterrorism agents intercepted the 18-year-old on Jan. 21 as he tried to board a flight to Oman at John F. Kennedy International Airport on his way to Yemen. He pleaded guilty to attempting to provide material support to a terrorist organization on Feb. 8 as part of an ongoing investigation.

The secret plea could mean the defendant was cooperating in the probe when it was at a sensitive stage. A spokesman for the U.S. attorney’s office in Brooklyn declined comment.

Russian teenagers living in America who turn to radical Islam?

Jihad in Delray Beach

Along the I-95 freeway in Florida, some jihadis (or perhaps some kids looking to prank the locals) spray-painted the word jihad at the entrance to a freeway onramp. Is it serious? Yes, no matter who defaced the public property. But in this news article and newsclip, some locals get into it with a man who does not think it important:

Delray Beach, Fla –It was hard to miss on Saturday, laced in bold black lettering, nearly twenty feet high a piece of graffiti work reads “jihad”.

In Arabic that term is used to describe a holy war.

Thousands of drivers saw the large message clearly when traveling northbound on I-95 in Delray Beach near the Atlantic exit. That spray painted word jihad created a fight that only CBS 12 caught on tape.
With our microphone flipped on and our camera rolling our news crew was quickly caught in the middle of this war of words. CBS 12’s Karl Man was interviewing Damon Rosen about the jihad spray painted message, something that disgusted him, that’s when an unidentified man left his car and just like that it was on.

Things quickly escalated, the unknown man who did not oppose the jihad message shifted his shouting to a crowd of bystanders.

“You’re all brainwashed!”

The group of on-lookers hurling profanity back at the man.

“You’re going to lose your job bit–!”

Rosen then jumping in with his own choice language…

Jihad spray-painted in Delray Beach, Florida

Jihad spray-painted in Delray Beach, Florida

And just as quickly as it went up, workers went to work painting over it. I’ve never understood those who choose to express themselves this way, through crime. If it is attention that you seek- write, compose, run, inspire society through bravery. Seek attention through ways that motivate people, or make them laugh, groan, smile, grin. I’ve been told writing a rambling blog is one such outlet. . .

The Great Blog Geehad

When I first started blogging, I emailed a bunch of established bloggers and was generally extra extroverted with the blogosphere. I made some good blog friends and continue to chat with a lot of them. I did not want a small, unread blog. I was after a boutique, vaguely-read blog and I seem to’ve achieved that.

That said, it is time for the new wave. It is time to go Bauhaus (pre post-modernism) on this blog. To get all up jihadi in this here place. So let’s try a courtship of sorts. I’ma gonna email various shady folks from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia and maybe even France (if I am feeling frisçée) with the following email:

Ya ikhwan/akhwan! Salaam Alaykums!

Yo, I am new to the jihad game. I am a laid-back (waaaay back) jerhadi who gave up a life of smoove kafarism to join this here jihad racket. I am looking for tips, encouragement, shwarma recipes. And answers to my questions. Mostly they are the queries of a beginner on the path:

-How do I keep my internal jihad from going external? I am thinking I am pretty internal and boom, I get all external with it. Any thoughts short of buying new wardrobe items? (I used to rock skinny jeans pretty hard, but going external in ‘dose bad-boys, look out. I got stories! Let’s just say I’m no longer welcome in Farhad’s Falafel House over in Echo Park.)

-Is body waxing haram? I’m caged out here in the sunny shores of Cali and they wax everything, and I mean everything: their legs, their surfboards, their ’67 Camaroes, their backs (yes, imagine that, ouchies), even battleships!

-I am looking for penpals from other countries. Do you know anyone who likes to chat with an American on-line on a blog? I am harmless, jihad-centric. I would say I am a Capricorn, but I left those western games behind for the eat-sleep-fight jihad hard-corps.

I may be lite (easy, crazy, cool) with my request, but I am looking to engage in some pretty heartfelt dialogue on anything you all want to talk about with a dude from California. Do you have a favorite imam or mullah? (In California, we pronounce money, moolah. So when a mullah has really got it going on, as in on his game, do you say ‘dat mullah is moolah, yo!)

Anyway, go to this link. (Link here.) I call myself the Mellow Jihadi. And when asked if it is true, as in: how can you be a mellow and a jihadi, I say, look dude, don’t harsh my jihadi, don’t make me go all mellow on you! (Um, actually swap those out. Don’t harsh my mellow, don’t make me get all jihadi on you…)

Ma’salaama! Laters!

-MJ

I await with fishy, baited breath. This should be interesting. I could go nowhere. Or I could get a couple of responses. One thing I’ve found is most folks don’t bother to read other pages when responding to a new blog. I usually do, but I may be nerdish.

Or maybe, I should try the more sedate approach:

Hello! I am looking to engage in a dialogue about jihad. Please go here to join in the conversation. Your reply is appreciated!

What do you think? Which one should I go with? My intention is to just troll the internet and send out mass emails. Don’t tell anyone, but this is a good way to generate more readers. It is like chumming, no pun intended. When we do decide, please feel free to send the new link I put up to anyone in the Middle East or beyond who might have an opinion on the jihad racket.

We got ourselves a blog, might as well go attack the blogosphere. I feel like a Lamborghini owner with a tankful of gas, heading out of El Lay onto the grapevine. Onward!

Azan: The Cool, Shady Mag

I know one magazine I would be unlikely to read. It is called Azan. And the main article for the latest issue is the Taliban in Kuhrasan. 

I like to post links like this because it upticks folks coming here from shady places. And when I say shady, I am not talking California Redwood shady.

Imagine how annoyed an anxious jihadi, or jihadi wannabe, would be in reading this. Sorry fellas! I know this post bombed. And not the bombs you guys like!

Jihad as a Business

Richard Nielsen argues that the Jihadi Radicalization of Muslim Clerics is actually a savvy career move. One clerical student told Rich: That’s how you get appointed to teach, how you get a position in the Dar al-Ifta [Egyptian Fatwa Ministry], which gets you a nice car.

Jihad as career strategy

Climbing the ladder to success, jihad style.
In other jihadi news, Ziya T was arrested in Turkey for the murder of Sarai Sierra.

Abu Baraa’s Fatwa Against Malala

I am not surprised that Abu Baraa, a senior member of Shariah4Pakistan, spoke of a fatwa against Malala Yousufzai: There will be a fatwa issued regarding Malala Yousufzai taking into account the full story of her injury including her public statements in support of the occupying U.S. army in the region and mocking of key symbols of Islam such as hijab and jihad. I am curious what his very famous brother, Y Baraa, had to say about the matter.

Top Five

Okay mellow jihadis, standby for your lists of the day.

Top Five spam comments (these are real/fake comments sent by ‘bots to this site):
1. Genius school called, they are running out of you!
2. Holy macadamia nuts, you are. . .
3. By the hammer of Thor. . .
4. Keeping it real, I like that.
5. You are so insightful (and 100s of other fake, misspelled compliments.)

Top Five (weird) search engine requests (ending up at this site):
1. Does a tech sergeant in the air force have to salute a lieutenant in the navy (Yes, although I like your inquisitive mind. Of course, if you were a TSGT you would know this.)
2. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a hippie (Sort of a Patrick Henry, Nathan Hale, HUAC, hippie denial thing. Or perhaps, I wrote these lines?)
3. Be a jihadi, jihadi’s children, etc. (Coming from Lebanon, the UAE, etc. I get the feeling you do not seek the lite, frothy fare served up here? How do you feel about  bull-riding?)
4. Pensacola jihadis. (Yikes, is P-cola being overrun by ninjas?)
5. French noses. (I got nothing.)

Top oddity:
1. The one fiction post I wrote lowered my daily pageviews by 200 or so. But readers seem to dwell on it (measured in minutes) more than any other page, if my site analytics are to be believed. Yet, no one has commented on it. So they clicked on the page, but said nothing? (I enjoyed writing it, but perhaps this is not the forum. Still, writing content like that keeps me loose.)

Top post not written:
1. My Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal (NAM) picture with the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy (MCPON.) The MCPON was supposed to award me, my Senior Chief, and handful of other folks our medals. He was called back to DC during the week of the SEAL tragedy. I don’t like pictures, nor award ceremonies, so life went on. . .(And the Admiral handled the pleasantries in the MCPON’s absence.)