K-Bay Marines to Meet Nancy Pelosi!

One of my bosses used to be the Commanding Officer at a Navy command in Hawaii. And one afternoon, he talked me through the whole structure of Oahu naval bases. He also included Air Force, Marine, and Army commands. Every naval officer should know what bases we have in Norfolk, San Diego, and Oahu. I think I have San Diego and Oahu down. Naw-falk is another story.

My boss pointed out a city that he especially loved, called Kailua. It is right next to K-Bay, Kaneohe Bay, a Marine base:

MCB Hawaii

Marine Corps Base Hawaii (MCBH), formerly Marine Corps Air Station, Kaneohe Bay and originally Naval Air Station Kaneohe Bay, is a U.S. Marine Corps base facility and air station located on the Mokapu Peninsula of windward O’ahu in the City & County of Honolulu.

As of the 2000 Census, the base had a total population of 11,827. Marine Corps Base Hawaii, Kaneohe Bay is home to Marines, Sailors, their family members, and civilian employees. The United States Marine Corps operates a 7,800-foot (2,400 m) runway at the base.

MCBH is home for Combat Logistics Battalion 3, the 3rd Marine Regiment, Marine Aircraft Group 24 and 3rd Radio Battalion.

I did not think much more on Kailua until I saw the old Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is vacationing in Hawaii. At the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai in Kona, on the island of Hawaii:

Nancy Pelosi and Neil Abercrombie

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, who served as Speaker of the House and is now head of the House minority, is once again spending her Christmas at the exotic Four Seasons Resort Hualalai at Historic Ka’upulehu in Kona on the island of Hawaii.

Pelosi reportedly plans to spend her Christmas Eve at midnight mass in St. Michael’s Catholic Church in Kailua-Kona.

Pelosi spent the last two Christmas holidays in Kona at the same hotel in an elaborate suite that rents for $10,000 a night.

Ah, but you say that Ms. Pelosi is on the large island? Guess who is vacationing in Kailua? Try the President:

K-Bay, Hawaii

News that President Barack Obama arrived in Hawaii this weekend to join his wife Michelle and daughters Malia and Sasha in time for a Christmas holiday has been covered by news media worldwide.

The first family and their friends have been enjoying a reclusive 17-day holiday vacation in beach front homes in Kailua, Oahu.

How much do you want to bet that Nancy is heading over to see the Commander-in-Chief in Kailua? You think she’ll drop in and chat with the Marines? She is on Christmas break, after all. My guess is that she’ll spread a little holiday cheer. A couple of her special smiles sure go a long way. Or perhaps, she’ll beam out the window at the guys? Lucky fellas, those K-Bay warriors. . .

The Navy, Anthony Weiner, and Mustaches

In the Navy, we have a time-honored tradition known as the cruise ‘stache. You are away from home, on deployment, and suddenly your upper-lip begins to scream. For the warm, gentle blanket of your own ‘stache-li-ness.

Magnum PI’s 3M: Marine Ballcap, Mustache, Mauser

You want to let your inner-Magnum out and rock your Walrus. Undoubtably, you are working hard on deployment. And the lip-catapillar is your reward. Who you gonna impress anyway?

So you do it. You grow a masterpiece. Preferably along with your squadron, your unit, your division.

Some folks even designate a month and add competitive flair to the whole affair. Mustache March, or any month that begins with M. Or not. July is perfectly acceptable. As is September. Why not try: September Stache-o-fur?

Take a peek over at Thomas Selleck. He is displaying what we refer to (in the Navy) as 3M. Mustache, Marine ballcap, and Mauser handgun.

He even wins extra points for wearing a sweater with, get this, no t-shirt underneath! Do not try this at home, work, or anywhere! You are most certainly not Magnum. Behold, but do not try to become. . .

You know who also wins extra points? The Marine Corps. Note Thomas is wearing a Marine unit’s ballcap in Navy colors. I don’t blame Marines for embracing the blue and gold. Scratch any Jarhead and there lurks a Sailor underneath.

True story: I was playing basketball with a Marine friend back when we were both E-3s. And he turns to me and says: I tell you man, I really should have been a squid.

International word of warning for us Yankees, do not try to compete with our mustachioed brethren from across the sea, the Brits. Them boys can grow a ‘stache overnight! Little known fact: 1% of all male United Kingdom’ers can merely think of a ‘stache and one magically sprouts, real-time. Curled like ram-horns. ‘Tis a sight to witness.

So profuse are their skills that their stiff, upper-lip hair twirls both ways and can even cook a three-course meal of haggis, grey peas, and fried fish wrapped in tomorrow’s newspaper. To say nothing of pouring a chilled pint of pale ale, so light it’s not perceptible to the human eye. Invisibly refreshing, it is. 

Yes ‘Muricans, we wield the power of the Magnum. But he may be an outlier. England has glandular superiority with respect to lip-thatching. How do you think they nabbed the name England, anyhow?

Okay, so we have covered two angles of our title, the Navy and ‘staches. What does the third leg, Anthony Weiner, have to do with anything? Anthony Wee-na, is that not the name of that disgraced politician from New Yawk? Who resigned after a ‘wittle blue-ha-ha?

Anthony Weiner, Mets hat, mustache

Yup and yup. Señor Weiner is back in the news. With big-time exposure. Well, different-time exposure. Hmm, I better just avoid that word. Exposure.

So what has Tony el Tigre done? He has gone and grown himself a man-stache! Taste the rainbow. . .

Carefully examine the ‘stache-a-rooski for signs as to his state of shave-a-ment. Observe the ever-so-slight downturn of the lip-music. A handle-bar in the making, no?

Subconsciously, Monsieur Weiner is saying: yes, I am a weensy bad-boy. But not too bad. But definitely a boy. A man-in-training. Notice, he can’t pull off 3M like Magnum. Here, he has to settle for a flaccid 2M, mustache and Mets hat.

Heed the clenched jaw, ala Maverick and Iceman, Navy locker-room, Top Gun, 1986. You’re dangerous, Mav! A little about the Wee-Na’s jaunt around town, with wife Huma Abedin, sporting his new lip-fur:

Disgraced former pol Anthony Weiner stepped out to do some Black Friday shopping in SoHo sporting a moustache reminiscent of the one made infamous by-

Whoah Nelly! Go to the New York Post link above for all the low-down, high-brow details. The Wee-Na really should have hidden in-cog-neato for a couple more years. Myself, I would have moved to the Falkland Islands, far out of texting range.

 Estelle Costanza (George’s mom from Seinfeld) sez: Enough with the Weiner! 

The Navy, the Marine Corps, and Celebrities

I ran across pictures of two celebrities, the singer Rihanna and the actress Mila Kunis, tonight. The first one, of Rihanna, I had to doctor somewhat. I think you can tell what is behind the blue rectangle. The original can be found here:

Rihanna Flicking Off the Camera During the Filming of Battleship

The second picture is from (yet another) Marine Corps Ball. The actress Mila Kunis and her date, Marine Corps Sergeant Scott Moore:

Mila Kunis, Marine Corps Ball, Sergeant Scott Moore

Okay, so both ladies were born outside the United States. Rihanna moved here from Saint Michael, Barbados, when she was sixteen. And Mila Kunis moved to Los Angeles when she was seven from Chernivtsi in the Ukrainian SSR.

Rihanna is filming Battleship. Just Jared, a pop website, decribed the movie as:

Rihanna and co-star Taylor Kitsch take on the roles of naval officers as they shoot scenes for their new movie, Battleship, in Oahu, Hawaii.

No details have been spilled about Ri’s character but Alexander Skarsgard will play a straight and narrow naval officer while Taylor will be the wildly spirited naval officer who idolizes his brother. Supermodel Brooklyn Decker also stars!

Rihanna in Battleship as a Petty Officer in the US Navy

First things first, Rihanna is not playing a naval officer, she is a Petty Officer. Look at her cover and collar on the left. Probably a Petty Officer Second Class. Or perhaps a Third Class?

Rihanna needs to understand that her role is bigger than herself. Her behavior in flicking off the camera is reprehensible. I particularly liked what my Shipmate here said:

I do have a more specific issue though, Rihanna and her behavior in a U.S. Navy uniform. I’m sure she couldn’t begin to understand the commitment it takes to earn the right to wear that uniform so I’ll give her a pass. As a black female NAVY veteran honorably discharged it’s disrespectful to see someone taking my uniform as a joke or just regular clothing.

Enough with that nonsense. Mila Kunis, star of That ’70s Show and Black Swan (with the kisser, Natalie Portman), and date to Sergeant Moore at his Marine Corps Ball, was nothing but classy at the event. Much like Justin Timberlake was with Corporal Kelsey De Santis. Smart move on both their parts. Free publicity is priceless. A Marine Corporal and a Captain had the following to say:

Mila Kunis and Sergeant Scott Moore, Marine Corps Ball

“A bunch of us are going to go our separate ways and us as a battalion, we’re going to spend this night together and just celebrate Marine Corps birthday under traditions we do for the Marine Corps everyday,” said Corporal William Steffy.

Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin

But the Marines admitted having Ms. Kunis here, was an honor in itself.

“She’s going to get a chance to learn about the Marine Corps and we’re all going to have a great time celebrating the Marine Corps birthday,” said Captain Scott Sasser.

Good job, Mila. You really plastered a smile on that Marine’s face. We can now forgive you for dating Macaulay Culkin for eight (8) years. . .