I am not a gun gun guy, but I am a gun guy, and I like to amble, mosey over to the local firing line from time to time. I feel at home there, the range. And the little visit I’ma ’bout to describe, sticks in my mind as a good one.

First up to the line, the Sig Sauer 45. I forget the exact model, only that it was perfect. If you are gun enthusiast, and have more guns in your house than televisions, you comprende my drift. It sat in my hand as if built it for my paw. I have long fingers like spider legs and sometimes weapons don’t feel right.

Which brings me to my second pistola: the Glock, chambered also in 45. (All of the hand-cannons I shot that day were 45s. That range let you pop any caliber, calibre. As long as you stayed within the grouping, extra charges were minimal.) For some reason, the Glock did not feel right. The barrel had an odd slant to it. I won’t say anything more ‘cuz I know there are Glock-a-maniacs out there and my goal is to gain readers not to lose ‘em.

Next up, the S&W in, you guessed it, 45. It was metallic (is that called nickel-plated?) and whereas the Siggy was perfection in feel, like a BMW 635, the Smith & Wesson was a four year-old Cadillac. Not quite a hoopty, but not a showcar either. Like a Caddy with the seat gangsa’ leaned and some Billy on the radio. (Billy Joel or Billy Ocean, either.)

The last handgun to the line was an Norinco 1911. I understand it probably costs a great deal less and probably has had a lot more rounds through it than the others. Probably. But still, it pinched, it pulled. A poor sportsman blames his equipment. Unless he shoots the Norinco and then he blames that. Don’t waste your time. If you really need a car analogy, think ’78 Pinto. In primer grey. And primer red. With wicker, rattan seats. Broken windows all around and no tail-lights, which is a ticketable offense. Capiche? I refuse to post of a picture of the offensive piece. Use your imagination or Google should you insist on viewing.

Curiously enough, it is the S&W which beckons me. You ever have a pistol do that to you? Minding my ownsome, my mind will flick to guns, and I can hear it whispering: NavyOne, come hither. Trigger-pull. Now. Put some lead down-range. My response: Sir, yes Sir! (Or Ma’am, yes Ma’am! Or Senator, yes Senator!)

PS Gun gun guys (or gun gun gals), advanced apologies for any blunder-headed greenfoot/tenderfoot/shoot-foot mistakes. If I misidentified any guns or posted the wrong picture, you can take it out on this blog. Go ahead and load up yer favorite weapon and aim it at the screen of your laptop, desktop, or tablet. Breathe, relax, aim, squeeze, shoot. Ahhhh, feel better?