Ladies, Man Down Your Hormones

Ladies, I truly apologize. It turns out the offer to be a surrogate baby-momma for a neanderthal’s little bouncing ball of joy was premature:

Harvard geneticist George M. Church

Harvard geneticist George M. Church

It turns out that a reported plan to clone a Neanderthal baby was lost in translation.

Harvard geneticist George M. Church was quoted in the Daily Mail as looking for an “adventurous woman” to serve as a surrogate for a “cloned cave baby.” The shocking headline spread quickly across the media with no small amount of help from major news aggregators like the Drudge Report.

But the Boston Herald dug a little deeper into the story, joining a long list of news outlets that contacted Church for an explanation.

Church told the Herald Monday night that the Daily Mail article was based on an interview he gave to the German-language magazine Der Spiegel and poorly translated comments he made about the possibility of one day cloning a Neanderthal.

Lost in translation? That poor excuse still works?

Royal Navy Traitor to Face Death Penalty?

Perhaps the Brits should consider the death penalty in the case of Royal Navy submariner, Petty Officer Edward Devenney. It’ll discourage these sort of affairs. Which appear to be cropping up more frequently than I seem to remember. Private Bradley Manning is a no brainer for curb-side recycling and maybe dumb Edward falls into this category too. Please ignore the usual cluelessness about rank in the headline of the Daily Mail article. I would say something complimentary about the officer corps, but it has been a rough four days for us. And don’t me started on Arabic linguists, not after James F. Hitselberger’s shenanigans.

The Shelf Life on Female Models

Generally, there is a shelf life on female models. Some savvy ones make the transition, like Cindy Crawford, many don’t. While piddling around the Daily Mail, I came across Daphne Selfe, all 83 years of her:

Looking around the headquarters of the Models 1 agency in Covent Garden, there are giant posters showing the most famous girls (and I mean girls, not women) on their books — Amber Le Bon, Bar Refaeli, Noemie Lenoir.

Vintage glamour- Daphne Selfe is still in demand as a model and shows how older women can still be sexy and powerful?

But there is one poster that shows a woman who is very different from the rest. A mane of silver hair, an etiolated neck, high cheekbones, bright, intelligent, lively eyes, and all 83 of her years etched upon her face.

This is Daphne Selfe. She is certainly one of the most beautiful women on the wall, and also one of the bravest.

Yikes. I am losing sight of my usual topics. High-jinks and the Navy. Still interesting, though.

Hollywood Drive-By

I am reading a Daily Mail link from Drudge. Once finished, I sail around DM, looking for good stories. And in the span of a minute, I have the following thoughts:

This guy, Karl Lagerfeld:

Karl Lagerfeld

called noted sweetheart Adele, fat:

Adele

Who is Karl Lagerfeld anyway? The guy looks like a goth Skeletor. What’s up with the cycling gloves there, Karl? My suggestion, looking as you do, don’t call anyone anything.

And then this piece on Angelina Jolie and her kids:

Angelina Jolie’s son Pax led the way with a dance as the actress held the hands of daughters Zahara and Vivienne In New Orleans.

The son Pax (meaning Peace) looks anything but. The puzzler, though, is further down the page. They forget to caption the picture of Brad Pitt:

Brad Pitt, Write Caption Here? What’s up with the jumpsuit?

Rather than describing why Brad looks like a Russian mobster in a jumpsuit, they wrote:

Write caption here, WTF?

Perhaps DM is just as confused. Has Brad taken on side work as plumber?

There you go, a Hollywood minute you’ll never get back.

Update: Wow, the Daily Mail corrected it. But you see the screen capture above as proof.

The new caption- Workman outfit: Brad Pitt  looked fetching in a black jumpsuit as he left his French Quarter home

Fetching? Yeah, right. He looks like he is heading down to engine room number two. To fetch his monkey wrench.

Warm Afghani Feet, a Barefooted Blogger, and One Bear Footsie

The weather, it’s a-turnin’ colder in Afghan-a-lemonade-stand. Want some proof? This:

Afghan workers toast their tootsies on a roadside in Kabul, Afghanistan

Poor guys. Their country’s entangled in the full-nelson of tribalism, a curse in this day and age. Another frosty indication is this nugget from the hairy-hatted Hamid Karzai:

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — Afghan President Hamid Karzai has said if the United States and Pakistan ever went to war, his country would back Islamabad, drawing a sharp rebuke Sunday from Afghan lawmakers who claimed the country’s top officials were adopting hypocritical positions.

That Ham Hamid Karzai, bathrobe by Wimbledon, hat by Mennan

The scenario is exceedingly unlikely and appears to be less a serious statement of policy than an Afghan overture to Pakistan, just days after Karzai and U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said Islamabad must do more to crack down on militants using its territory as a staging ground for attacks on Afghanistan.

Wimbledon, sponsoring Ham’d Karzai since 2001

“If fighting starts between Pakistan and the U.S., we are beside Pakistan,” Karzai said is an interview with private Pakistani television station GEO that aired Saturday.

“If Pakistan is attacked and the people of Pakistan need Afghanistan’s help, Afghanistan will be there with you.”

Don Francisco sez: May all your Sábados be Gigante!

At least with the first name Hamid, we know Ham’d does not keep halal.

Let’s sail west, shall we, to the warmer clime of Marin-tin-tin-land. Home to our friend, the renowned fashionista and well-tempered bloggalier, Bookworm. Ladies, Gentlemen, and San (not Don) Franciscans, Book has finally confessed that she is:

 a barefoot person.  Although I was a fashion plate in my 20s (when they still made petites for short people not medium ones, and when I thought I had money to burn), my style today is very utilitarian.

As a barefoot person, was she referencing the below specimen?

Bear Foot, modeled by Tom Boddingham, not Bookworm. . . 

How did that bear foot happen? Simple:

Tom Boddingham was trying to order a size 14.5 monster slipper from an online company, Monster Slippers, but he must have put the decimal point in the wrong position. Because when the monster slipper arrived at his door it was bigger than him.

Boddingham told the Daily Mail:

“It was sent directly from Hong Kong and measures 210 x 130 x 65cm – the same length as a grizzly bear or a family car. I must be the owner of the biggest slipper in the world… I’m going to sell it online, and if I can make a few quid out of it then all the better.”

Final thought: All intelligence indicates that Bookworm does not suffer a known weakness for bear footsies. Nor has she ever wroten the verboten about said moccasins or considered christening her blog the Barefooted Blawger. (Although a nasty rumor, circulating amongst certain villainous circles, postulates that she very nearly almost titled her literary cottage: das Laundresse. . .)