Getting Hammered with the Admiral

There is a house in New Orleans. . .

Admrial Nimitz, founder of UC Berkeley ROTC, 1926
Admrial Nimitz, est Berkeley ROTC, 1926

Just kidding, I always wanted to start a blogpost like that. And it is especially funny (or not) considering how infrequently I’ve been blogging recently. I can point to long hours, but the truth is my job requires me in front of a computer and then in my off-time, I don’t particularly want to sit in front of another screen. Strange that a shipboard job is so pc-centric, but that is how it is in the modern Navy. Those among you who have done military staffwork surely understand.

Okay, so let’s talk title. Yes, I was propositioned (can you use that word with alcohol?) by the Admiral to go get hammered with him. It was all the more hilarious because my boss, the Captain, walked in during our pre-brief right when the Admiral said: Lieutenant, you and I are going to have to get hammered together. 

Before I get into the bulldozing, and then the laying of iron rebar, and than the pouring cement, and then the framing of our little story here, perhaps we should do a historical stroll with modern major admirals to see who among them might have tippled a grog or three with their younger staff?

Vice-Admiral The Right Honourable The Viscount Nelson
Vice-Admiral The Right Honourable
The Viscount Nelson

This naval forum had a list of the top ten admirals of all time. Sort of a Navy Hall of Fame:

1. Yi Sun Shin – Korea: Arguably one of the greatest admirals of all time; drove the Japanese out of their collective minds. Of the at least 23 major battles during the Japanese invasions of Korea (1592-1598), Admiral Yi gained victories in all of them; he never lost a single engagement and is the national hero of Korea.

2. Horatio Nelson – Britain: If you do not know who he is you have no business in these forums; I recommend that you try knitting sweaters instead.

3. Frank Jack Fletcher – United States: Admiral Fletcher was the operational commander at the pivotal Battles of Coral Sea and of Midway.

4. Gaius Duilius – Rome: He won a major naval victory over the Carthaginians during the battle of Mylae thus setting the stage for the decline of Carthage as as the per-eminent naval power of antiquity.

Don Juan movie5. Don Juan of Austria: The Victor of the Battle of Lepanto, the last major naval engagement between galley fleets; this battle set the stage for the decline of the Turkish Empire.

6. François Joseph Paul, Comte de Grasse – France: Fought the British fleet to a standstill at the Battle of the Capes, and forced the British to retire without supplying Yorktown, thus forcing George III to give up his American colonies.

7. Michiel Adriaenszoon de Ruyter – Holland: One of the most famous admirals in Dutch history. De Ruyter is most famous for his role in the Anglo-Dutch Wars of the 17th century. He fought the English and French in these wars and scored several major victories, the best known probably being the Raid on the Medway.

Admirl Togos8. Heihachiro Togo – Japan: The winner of the Battle of Tsushima Straits; historian Edmund Morris calls it the greatest naval battle since Trafalgar. It was the largest naval engagement of the pre-dreadnought battleship era and the only sea battle in history in which steel battleships fought a decisive fleet action.

9. David Glasgow Farragut – United States: On August 5, 1864, Farragut won a great victory in the Battle of Mobile Bay. Mobile was then the Confederacy’s last major port open on the Gulf of Mexico; when it was captured, it helped to set the stage for the final defeat of the Confederacy just as surely as the Battle of Gettysburg.

10. Isoroku Yamamoto – Japan: Planned the daring attack on Pearl Harbor thus bringing the United States into the Second World War.

Admiral Bull Halsey
Admiral Bull Halsey

Interesting, the poster goes on to say he did not place them in order of greatness. But he does take some heat. And a new forum member goes on to post this list (bear with me on the booze and el-tee thing, we are getting there, albeit in an Italian taxi cab kind of way.) New list:

1. Ray Spruance – TF-16 at Midway, TF-58 at Marianas Turkey Shoot.

2. Marc Mitscher – Ran TF-58’s carriers. Turned on TF-58’s lights so the Hellcat, Helldiver and Avenger aviators could find their way home.

3. William “Bull” Halsey – Aggresive patrolling after Pearl Harbor was immeasurably valuable experience for our inexperienced naval aviators. Ran TF-38 (same ships as TF-58). Halsey and Spruance rotated command…One admiral and his staff would run an Op while the other and his staff planned the next Op.

4. Tamon Yamaguchi – If he had been in Nagumo’s place at Pearl Harbor and Midway…1942 and 1943 would have been bad years for the US Navy.

5. Raizō Tanaka – If he had been in Kurita’s place off Samar…the Leyte Gulf beach head would’ve been clobbered.

Commodore Edward Preble
Commodore Edward Preble

6. Edward Preble – Technically a Commodore…the phrase “Preble’s Boys” says it all.

7. Alfred Thayer Mahan – Father of the modern US Navy.

8. Isoroku Yamamoto – One of the most brilliant naval strategists and a great leader. He truly was irreplaceable.

9. Heihachiro Togo – Tsushima…’nuff said.

10. John Henry Towers – Father of US Naval Aviation.

Should I go admiral by admiral and conjecture about whether these towering giants were on drunk terms with their staff? Probably more than half of them were. It was a different time, on different seas. Technology has changed business on the world’s oceans. So has culture. Now, 16 year-olds girls stateside are tattoo’d like Sailors of yore and us modern Navy-folk are less rough around the edges.

Okay, so I owe you a story. It is the afternoon and my boss grabs me in the p-way (short for passageway of the ship.) Hey, go up to the quarterdeck and greet the Admiral and get him back to our space for the brief.

Call football iiI jam up to the quarterdeck without going back to my office. Good call. The Admiral is ten minutes early. He gets gonged (ringing the bell thingy) on. And I take him back to our space. I had spoken to him once before, right when I checked into the command. And he and I share an alma mater. (Or in this case, considering our football team, the Cal Bears, perhaps I should be calling it the alma whatsa matter?)

Tough year for Cal football, eh, sir?

Hell of a year. We’ve gotten killed in every game. What are we, 1 and 9?

Something like that sir. I lost track.

USC put up 62 on us! More than a point a minute. 

It is rough.

Call footballI lead him into our space and we continue our bemoaning of our bad-news Bears. Finally, he ends with: Lieutenant, you and I are going to have to get hammered together. 

My boss, the newly-arrived-to-the-space-Captain, looks around the room at me first and then the other folks with a double-whisky-on-the-rocks-tango-foxtrot look. I tell him later what we were discussing. I figured it was something like that, he tells me.

The Buckhannans Are Going to the Game!

Don Buckhannan’s response to his son Daniel Buckhannan’s gift of Alabama football tickets is priceless. And seeing it, I could not imagine that anyone would take issue to a father and son bonding over college football. I was wrong: well slobber all over myself in affection for the sports whack offs. only in sports obsessed godless America would this be a big deal. How many real stories were passed over about maybe some homeless person getting a break in life. they can shove this! Wow, bitter people. Next year, Berkeley will be in the championship game. You heard it here first. . .

Can We Get the School Right for the Ladies?

A national sports blog is featuring 20 female athletes who are currently unknown, but who may be future stars. Most of them, you’ve probably never heard of, like professional surfer Alana Blanchard, MMA’s Michelle “Karate Hottie” Waterson, and NASCAR’s Amber and Angela Cope.

The list is interesting to me because two UC Berkeley students made the cut, Britt Vonk, who is Dutch:

Britt Vonk first debuted in 2008 at the Beijing Olympics being featured on the Dutch National Softball team. She is now trending in the United States softball world by playing for The University of California-Berkley.
Britt Vonk first debuted in 2008 at the Beijing Olympics being featured on the Dutch National Softball team. She is now trending in the United States softball world by playing for The University of California-Berkley.

And another Berkeley softball player, Cheyenne Cordes, who has already made the US national team:

It's not that often that a softball player gets added to the list but Cheyenne Cordes is only a sophomore at the University of California-Berkley but has already made the Usa National Team
Cheyenne Cordes, sophomore at the University of California-Berkley.

Now we just gotta teach journalists how to spell Berkeley. Not Berkley.

A Tiger out of the Woods

Tiger 2012: This looks cool, I’ve no idea what it is

You know what would be fun? Playing the back nine, any back nine, with Tiger Woods.

Since I am a Berkeley guy and Tiger a Stanford shrub, it would be fun to jaw at him.

(In reality, I have no desire to play the back, or for that matter the front, nine with Tiger Woods. He comes across as humorless and robot-like. But begrudge me my little blog set-up.)

David Villalobos also wanted to play with Tiger at a golf course up in ‘da Bronx. And he almost got slaughtered. No sense of irony, that Tiger. . .

Eight Big Meanies Gang Up

Eight women from Harvard, Columbia, Princeton, U Penn, Stanford, Berkeley and Yale (among others) ganged up on one five foot tall woman and threw all one hundred pounds of her into a river. Do you know what I am talking about? Yes, the gold-medal winning, US Rowing team. Specifically, the women’s eight:

Women’s Eight, London 2012 Olympics, Gold Medalers

And the details on this brainy team:

Caryn Davies has a bachelor’s from Harvard and is pursuing a law degree from Columbia. Caroline Lind graduated from Princeton then earned a master’s degree in accounting from Rider. Esther Lofgren has a degree in economics from Harvard. Susan Francia has a bachelor’s and a master’s degree from Penn. Stanford, Cal-Berkeley and Yale are also represented on this team. Several of the rowers have postgraduate degrees.

 I’ll bet the Cal girl pulled a little extra for that entitled Stanford chick. . .

Public Speaking

The military has a way of teaching folks how to speak publicly. Repetitive briefing will improve your skills. Thanks to a boss who was unrelentingly critical, I learned the below lessons the hard way:

The three best pieces of advice ever doled out in the Esquire offices:

1. The subject can be boring, but the story cannot be boring.
2. You’re in charge of the story.
3. People won’t miss what isn’t there.

I also always make sure I know what I am briefing. If I don’t understand something, I don’t talk about it. Not publicly at least. There is nothing worse than someone fumbling around not knowing his/her subject. As for being shy:

“When we have people give talks in shyness groups, they often do much better than they thought they did. There’s a tendency to underrate your performance when you’re feeling shy,” says Dr. Lynne Henderson, director of the Shyness Institute, a nonprofit in Berkeley, Calif., that’s dedicated to researching and developing manuals on social anxiety.

The Shyness Institute? In Berkeley? Never heard of it.

I respect shyness, at least in measured doses. Not in an overwhelming way, but a little shyness shows humility or decency. I am wary of those who are always extroverted. How are they when they are not “on?” Likewise, I am wary of those who are always introverted. Introspection is fine, but you have to talk sometime. Sharing yourself shows you are not selfish and completely self-absorbed.

It is all a question of balance. My rule of thumb: be extroverted when around people and know when to get away. There is nothing worse than feeling introverted when in a group. Or feeling extroverted when not in a crowd. People who experience the latter symptom often turn to devious means to satisfy their primordial urges. Like blogging. . .

Breastfeeding, By Any Weans Necessary

(Prior warning: Some blogposts may make your thirsty for a nice cold cup of lowfat milk, this is probably not one of them.)

I first noticed that breastfeeding acquired a militancy when I went to college. Perhaps it was Berkeley, perhaps it was the time. But I stumbled across a woman breastfeeding her daughter in the airport, in full view, without any effort to cover up. I walked past them and thought it odd. The baby was happy, like Maggie from the Simpsons, on her bottle. And after that, I saw 2-3 women doing the same. (Although none were quite so open about it as the airport lady.)

This week, Time magazine published a cover photo of a nearly four-year old kid standing on a stool, suckling at his mother’s teat. And the reaction has been loud. One woman had this to say:

I applaud Time magazine for its eye-opening cover photo of a breastfeeding mom. The Cutline quotes some readers who are scandalized. Well, good. The photo is a good wake-up call that breasts are not just ornaments. It’s nice to see cover girls using them for the purpose God made them.

Granted Time’s cover is a bit edgy. Mom Jamie Lynne Grumet is shown suckling her camo-clad 3-year-old.

I still dream of nursing babies. I miss the prolactin high and the sleepy, cuddly loving. Nursing is the most spiritual experience in the world.

Nursing’s the most spiritual experience in the world? Someone’s got to get out the house more often.

The Occupy Movement Checks In and I Issue a Retraction

In my blogging career, I have received about 35 pieces of either hate-mail or angry comments. Mostly, they originated from the Operation Wall Street crowd, sending me grumpy-grams about something I had written. And although I respect civic participation in the government and politics, I am wary of the OWSers’ goals.

This morning, I got two angry comments about my Occupy Marine post. Well, one is angrier than the other. The gentler one:

Hydro said: Everyone is entitled to their opinion but it’s sad that you are talking trash about us. You should be ashamed of yourself

Achh- no harm, no foul. I did lay it on thick as I thought they were fake Marines. This one is a little harsher:

Sgt. Jason Christopher Leone said, in reply to Kurt P:

You calling me a TROLL, you fucking P***Y?

To the “Laid Back Jihadi” that wrote this heinous, DANGEROUSLY MISINFORMED ARTICLE?

Sup Bro? Wanna come down to Union Square and throw up on me?


“The BROSEPH on the left”

You f****g Turd.

I hit a nerve. And I take it that (at least) the second gentlemen is a Marine. As for Hydro, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I respect their service as I do all in the military. I emailed this response back to them:

Hydro and SGT Lee,

Both of you commented at my blog, the Mellow Jihadi. I take it you were active-duty Marines at one time. After reading your comments, I will issue a retraction calling you all out. I am a prior-enlisted naval officer and am very wary of the usage of military members (real or not) for political causes.

My wariness is not imagined. Unfortunately, certain political elements have relied on fake military participation to give them, and their various groups, credibility. The bogus Army Ranger Jesse Macbeth comes to mind, but there are many others.

I would like to engage you both on your group’s message or lack of one. What is it that you want? OWS has a fringe hooliganism and possesses a dearth of stated goals. I graduated from Berkeley and witnessed the anarchist movement firsthand. They are confounding even to themselves and the 99%ers give off similar confusion. Do you have a mission statement? What sort of organization, or the opposite, would you seek within the government or society to meet your goals? Are you aware of the fact that many folks think OWS is a tool of socialist (or otherwise extreme) causes? One concrete idea espoused by the OWS movement: the forgiveness of student loans. Why should a middle-class family suffer through tax hikes to fund some Ivy Leaguer’s debts? Does this not sound imbalanced? Money must come from somewhere, it does not magically appear.

Is it odd that the OWSers are using the term 99%? I have literally hundreds of friends and acquaintances and know of no one who supports the laziness and lack of civility that OWS engenders. I would put forth that society at large is the 99% and the OWS crowd is the real 1%. And before you label me some clueless Officer, know that I have held many menial jobs from washing dishes to being a bike messenger in NYC. And I was enlisted once, as you were.

On any given day, my blog receives between 2K and 12K in pageviews. And I will offer you both space to respond. I agree to post what you write, unedited and in complete form. I will, however, ****-out any four-letter words. I wish you would address the criminal element of OWS. As Marines, certainly this must bother you. And I am curious your stance on prior-military members showing up in uniform to OWS events. I have seen dozens of pictures of this direct violation of a clearly-known rule.

Lastly, I would be curious your stance on the Tea Party. They have no criminality in their ranks and advocate for a smaller, more responsible government. And despite what the media would like to present, they cut across a large swath of society. (Although, they do tend to tilt older, whereas OWS leans the opposite direction.)

I am all for participation in civic government and look forward to hearing your informed response.



Consider this post a retraction of my original observation that the three gentlemen were not Marines. Consider it also a challenge to Occupy Marines to put forth a cogent mission statement.

I would ask readers not to delve into the four-letter dictionary in response to any of their comments.

Cyclist Hit-and-Run in Berkeley

I have never seen or heard of this piece of gear, but when I worked as a bike messenger, I really could have used it. A YouTuber named brunogfmtube (first name Bruno) filmed his own hit-and-run with a camera mounted on his handlebars:

The hit-and-run occurred around 4:30 p.m. Wednesday on Tunnel Road in Berkeley, where the bicyclists were traveling east and were struck by a car traveling in the same direction, according to police.

One of the cyclists had a camera mounted on his handlebars. The video, posted on YouTube by brunogfmtube, shows a black car veer into both bicyclists at about the 2:40 mark.

According to CBS Station KPIX, Police Capt. Andrew Greenwood said the driver of the black vehicle did not stop afterward, as is required by law, so police treated it as a hit-and-run.

Bike accident screen-shot from brunogfmtube. Michael Medaglia to the left.

The riders, both of whom were wearing helmets, had abrasions from hitting the road but did not require hospitalization, according to Greenwood.

After the incident Wednesday, the suspect, Michael Medaglia, reported to the Oakland Police Department that his car had been stolen. A police alert was placed on the car.

What is crazy- I know that road in Berkeley. I’ve driven on it before, though in a car.

Navy SEALs and UC Berkeley

When I was deployed to the Middle East, I met an officer who had washed out of BUDs (SEAL training.) He had gotten injured and had to find another officer community.

Long story short: he and I were chatting and he asked me where I went to school. I told him Cal and he responded that he had too. I thought he was joking, but he assured me he had indeed gone to Berkeley. A SEAL wannabe at Bezerkeley. I love it.

Here is a woman who met her husband, a future SEAL, at Berkeley. In philosophy class: 

We met my freshman year of college at UC Berkeley. Through my Philosophy class, I was introduced to one of his teammates and quickly fell in “like” with the guy. Because I ate in the same dining commons as my Navy SEAL and his entire team, I came to know each and every one of the athletes. He was the first guy to walk over and introduce himself. We dated other people over the years, but became close friends and spent a good deal of time together, cultivating a unique platonic relationship.

Yes, Berkeley and the military, we are like two peas in the pod!

Guns and the Tea-Sipping Gentleman

Yvonne Lee Schultz is an artist with a unique medium, guns. She took James Bond’s pistol and molded it out of porcelain. Of course, Ms. Schultz was born in Berkeley. Her china art:

The Porcelain Pistols Project, by Yvonne Lee Schultz

The Porcelain Pistols are replicas of James Bond’s Walther PPK and its contemporary sister, the P99, with friendly permission of Carl Walther Inc. The fragile weapon, hand-painted in the style of classic tableware motifs, lies next to your coffee and cake, asking to be picked up. Its coolness andcomfortable grip increase the qualms of the user, leaving him in a quandary between the pleasure of luxury and violence.

Luxury and violence? Ah, two natural sisters. Where Mercedes Benzes lurk, I usually find AKs. Wait, that may just be in Yugoslavia or whatever they are calling all the Yugo splinters.

Coast Guard Pirates?

Those Horn of Africa pirates have some nerve. Not only are they kidnapping and looting boats in the area, they are also acting as, um, game wardens?

HOA Pirates, saving fishies

“As Somali pirates rain terror along Africa’s eastern seaboard, capturing trade ships and holding crews hostage for ransom, a remarkable development is taking place underwater: Tuna and marlin populations are surging,” Utne Reader says. “It turns out that the rogue seamen have scared away commercial fishing trawlers as well as tankers dumping toxic waste, both of which formerly devastated the coastal fisheries. The results are so profound, according to the University of California, Berkeley, alumni magazine California … pirates are ‘claiming that they are an ad hoc ‘coast guard’ for Somalia’s offshore resources.’ ”

Figures my old school Berkeley would find a way to compliment some pirates. Go Bears!

Berkeley Hooked By Texas

Cal Bears Football: 46th Top Helmet

Okay Cal football fans, I have some news that will make your day.

UC Berkeley’s helmet has been designated as iconic. (Please ignore the snarky undertone about our win-loss struggles):

California has an understated script “Cal” on the sides of the helmet, and the simple, unassuming style is one of the best things about the Bears’ program.

After all, wins have been few and far between as of late, and other Pac-12 schools are much more prominent on the football stage.

The bad news? Ted Tedford and the Cal Bears got pummeled by the Longhorns in the Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl, 21-10:

To Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns, the difference between finishing 8-5 and 7-6 is immense.

David Ash added his name to the list of quarterbacks who’ve caught a touchdown pass in the Holiday Bowl and also threw for a score to lead Texas to a 21-10 victory over California on Wednesday night.

Texas Longhorns Football: 4th Top Helmet

Ash caught a 4-yard pass from wide receiver Jaxon Shipley in the second quarter to join BYU’s Steve Young, Texas A&M’s Bucky Richardson and Oregon’s Harrington as quarterbacks who’ve caught touchdown passes in the Holiday Bowl.

The Longhorns (8-5) were even more impressive on defense, getting five takeaways and sacking Cal’s Zach Maynard six times, both season highs.

To add insult to injury, the Longhorn leatherhead was designated number four all-time best college football helmet.

Jenna Bush flashing the University of Texas Hook ‘Em Horns! 

Whenever I think of the Longhorns, I am always reminded of Jenna Bush flashing the Hook ‘Em Horns hand gesture.

When it occurred, it was interpreted three ways. Texas fans understood its meaning and the hearing deprived thought she was flashing the BS sign:

Texans recognized Jenna’s “Hook ’em horns” hand sign as a show of support for the University of Texas Longhorns. But deaf people who use American Sign Language easily identified the sign for “bull—-.”

And the Norwegians interpreted the gesture as satanic:

When Jenna Bush flashed the Texas Longhorn handsign at a Texas event something got lost in translation. In Norway apparently throwing your right hand up and and raising your pinky and index finger is a Nordic sign for “Hello Satan”.

Norwegian Flag

Although shocked Norweigans were comforted by an explanation of the hand gesture in Norway’s largest newspaper, Verden Gang, many of us here in the United State knew that it was. . .

As a linguist, I always find translations interesting and having three wildly different versions of one gesture is rare.

Next year, Cal fans, in Pasadena. Next year. . .

Rhodes Scholar: Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s Kid

So the Rhodes Scholars were just announced. Being the newsie that I am, I breezed through the story and followed the link to the pictures. The below girl startled me when I traveled over to the page:

Ronan Farrow, Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s kid

And I thought, surely I have seen this young lady before, no? She has that Sarah Lawrence/Vassar/Bryn Mawr English Major-Gender Studies Minor look, yes? Good Germanic stock and (knowing those fine institutions) probably some good Solyndra stock thrown in there as well.

I read the caption and imagine my surprise when it turned out she was a he. Did not Aerosmith once have a song about this? (Yes, this blogpost has a faint Crying Game-ish tint to it. Sorry.) From the official Ya-hoooo caption:

This June 19, 2006 file photo shows Ronan Farrow, son of actress and activist Mia Farrow and film director Woody Allen, during their visit to Berlin.

Ronan Farrow has been chosen as a Rhodes Scholar. He is among 32 American students who will be awarded scholarships to study at Oxford University, it was announced Sunday, Nov. 20, 2011.

Okay, so the picture is old. And undoubtably the dude has duded up. Got himself, hopefully, into some MMA classes. A couple of sore ribs, a busted lip, and a kick or three south of the border will toughen him up real quick. Or he could just join the Marine Corps. He has that pre-Parris Island sheen, no?

What lottery did he lose in life to be born into the Allen household? I can endlessly insult the lecherous man who shares his genes (and his sister), but enough has been said about him. I loved Woody’s work at one time, now I refuse to watch anything he does. He picks these young actresses, like Scarlett Johansson and Julia Roberts, to do his gross schtick with. Yech!

I once saw Woody and his daughter girlfriend wife when I lived in New York City. It was mid-1990ish and I was walking on the Upper East Side, not too Upper, but well north of 59th Street. I was close to 5th Avenue, cutting over to Park. I saw an Asian girl strolling five feet behind a young kid with a khaki baseball hat pulled real low. Like some preppy gangster.

Anyway, the girl looked to be about my age and she wore sandals, the Roman type that had laces that wrapped up the ankle. The kid turned around and waited for her. I passed him and realized that he was not a young boy, but an elder man. And then I discovered it was Woody Allen. I walked faster; I felt slightly creeped out.

I told an actress friend of mine and she mentioned that she took acting classes with Soon-Yi. So what is she like? I asked her.

Well, she is quiet and cries every now and then, my actress friend told me. She’ll never make it in the acting biz. Too shy or something.

Of course, my buddy was one of those Midwest transplants to New York. I want to say she was from Kansas. And she had so thoroughly embraced the Big Apple that she was more New York than many natives. (Note: On further google review, she is not a Kansas girl, but a Missou’er. I just found her Facebook page. 2200 friends. Is that possible? I knew she was extraverted, just not that extra-extraverted.)

Two children and their mother: Woody Aleen, Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi Previn, Life Magazine

As for Ronan and his Dad, if he can be called that, the son had this to say about him:

He’s my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression. I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent… I lived with all these adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult to all adopted children.

I am starting to like this Ronan kid, despite the fact that he looks like he needs some serious manning up. When the revelations came out about his father, what with the nude photographs and all that, Woody was actually relieved:

In a 2005 Vanity Fair interview, Allen estimated that, despite the scandal’s damage to his reputation, Farrow’s discovery of Allen’s attraction to Soon-Yi Previn by finding nude photographs of her was “just one of the fortuitous events, one of the great pieces of luck in my life. . . It was a turning point for the better.”

Of his relationship with Farrow, he said, “I’m sure there are things that I might have done differently. . . Probably in retrospect I should have bowed out of that relationship much earlier than I did.”

In a report June 22, 2011, Reuters quoted Allen as saying, “What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal and I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one real juicy scandal in my life.”

Where was the scandal? Really? Maybe I am provincial in my thinking, but to me, marrying your daughter is one of the big no-nos in life. Yes, she was not officially your daughter. Still. And I am not mentioning the other disgusting actions on his part towards children. (Google, use it if you want to barf.)

As for Ronan, apparently he is quite the prodigy. The youngest kid to graduate from Bard College. And the kiddo followed that kudo up with a law degree from Yale. Now this Rhodes hurrah. I went to wikipedia and saw this pic of him:

Ronan Farrow, Rhodes Scholar 2012

And then I thought: Dude, someone at Yahoo does not like you. They posted a picture of you looking more feminine than half the freshman female class at UC Berkeley. The right-handed ones even. Not that that is sayin’ a whole lot.

Back to reading Ronan’s bio. I completely take back my earlier statement on his poor genes. They are in working order. Proof- his effort as part of President Obama’s and Secretary of State Clinton’s administration:

At the State Department since 2009, Farrow has directed the US government’s relationship with nongovernmental actors in Afghanistan and Pakistan. His appointment was billed by late Special Envoy to Afghanistan and Pakistan Richard Holbrooke as an unprecedented show of commitment by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to the civil society and non-governmental actors playing a critical role in the reconstruction of Afghanistan. At the time of his appointment, a State Department official speaking on condition of anonymity referred to Farrow as “a friggin’ genius,” adding that “he’s young but he has a depth of experience that many people twice his age lack.”

Not that you will need it, but good luck at Oxford, kid. Steer clear of the hairdressers. . .