Squirmy Jihadis

You usually hear the term merger describing a business deal, but this article writes of a merge in relation to Al Qaeda branches. (Titled: Al-Qaida leader scraps Syria, Iraq branch merger.) I must say, I enjoy watching the jihadis squirm. The details:

In April, al-Qaida in Iraq said it had joined forces with the Nusra Front, forming a new alliance called the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant.

Hours after the announcement, Nusra Front leader Abu Mohammad al-Golani appeared to distance himself from the merger, saying he was not consulted. Instead, he pledged allegiance to al-Zawahiri.

In Sunday’s letter, al-Zawahri chastises the head of al-Qaida in Iraq, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, saying he announced the merger without consulting al-Qaida’s leadership. He also admonished al-Golani for publicly distancing himself from the merger.

“The Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant will be abolished,” al-Zawahri said, adding that Nusra Front will remain an independent branch of al-Qaida. Al-Baghdadi and al-Golani are to stay on as leaders of their respective branches for another year, after which the al-Qaida leadership will decide whether they will keep their posts or be replaced.

Squirm baby, squirm. . .

Al-Qaida and Groupon, a Match Made in Paradise?

Al-Qaida’s branch in Yemen has a media arm called the al-Malahem Foundation. And these generous souls are offering 5 million Yemeni riyals ($23,000) to any jihadi who kills an American soldier inside Yemen. They are passing out coupons and the fine-print reads that the offer is valid for only six months.

Groupon Al Qaida in Yemen Coupon

Groupon initially was interested in working with the jihadi entrepreneurs over at al-Malahem, but not with the chintzy, six month caveat. It violates their corporate charter.

It Is a Jihadi Morning

Of these two, which is more farcical?

A jihadi is eating breakfast and gets waxed? (Not Brazilian waxed, but an old-school mafia waxing.) Then, his men’s club celebrates the fact that ol’ Abu could not finish his short stack of pancakes:

We celebrate to you the news of the martyrdom of the working scholar Shaykh Khalid al-Hussainan (Abu Zaid al-Kuwaiti) while eating his Suhoor (dawn time) meal, and we ask Allah to accept him in paradise.

Waxed: Sheikh Khalid Bin Abdul Rehman Al-Hussainan, aka Abu-Zaid al Kuwaiti

Evan Kohlmann, an NBC News counterterrorism analyst, said al-Hussainan was at the forefront of a new wave of al-Qaida leadership.

“That’s a big gap in the leadership,” said Kohlmann.

Or the fact that the Pakistani Taliban is recruiting via Facebook:

THE Pakistani Taliban has set up a page on Facebook to recruit enthusiasts to write for a quarterly magazine and to edit video, a spokesman confirmed.

The Umar Media TTP page, which has more than 270 likes, appears to have been created in September and has just a handful of messages written in English.

“Umar Media is proud to announce online jobs oppertunities (sic),” says the first post on the networking website, written on October 25.

“Job discription (sic) is video editing, translations, sharing, uploading, downloading and collection of required data,” it says, giving an email address and asking readers to “plz spread it. This fb account ma be deleted.”

Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) spokesman Ehsanullah Ehsan confirmed to AFP by telephone on Friday that the faction was “temporarily” using the page “to fulfil its requirements” before launching its own website.

 Ummmm, Umar Media, have you guys tried monster.com? I hear they get good results.

Al Qaeda Farts

Al Qaeda is encouraging its clowns to look into a ember bomb that would light our forests on fire. No surprises in the Inspire article, other than the obvious. But I love these comments:

Al-Qaeda – enemy of squirrels and spotted owls everywhere.

In Recent News: Al-Qaida discovers fire

well, it IS a step up from their original idea of lighting a fart in a forest

Ah, you gotta love America. . .

Where Do We Fight Next?

Warriors, you gotta love them. The current Commandant of the Marine Corps (and naval aviator, per Wikipedia) was in Afghanistan today. The scoop:

General James F. Amos, Commandant of the Marine Corps, Naval Aviator

The U.S. Marines’ top general, James Amos, sprinted up and down the Helmand River Valley in southern Afghanistan on Thursday, visiting frontline Marines at nine remote outposts to share Thanksgiving and applaud their gains against the Taliban in a region where al-Qaida hatched the 9/11 plot a decade ago.

Traveling mostly in an MV-22 Osprey, the hybrid that flies like an airplane and takes off and lands like a helicopter, Amos began shortly after daylight and finished 14 hours later — and, improbably, managed to confront just one turkey dinner.

I love it. Leadership, it is not only a word. My favorite part: 

At Combat Outpost Hanson, one member of the 3rd battalion, 6th Marine Regiment asked, “Who do you want us to fight next, sir?” Amos said he did not know, but he reassured the Marine that there would be no shortage of security crises in the years ahead.

At Combat Outpost Alcatraz, in Sangin district where fierce fights against the Taliban have waned only recently, the top overall commander of the war, Marine Gen. John Allen, joined Amos for a pep talk to several dozen Marines.

A special Happy Thanksgiving to all our Service Members deployed around the world. Get some and then get some turkey. . .