Preggers Terrorist, Morgan Gliedman

This is Morgan Gliedman: she’s dating a Harvard grad and is a daughter to prominent New Yorkers:

Morgan Gliedman
Morgan Gliedman

And she was just arrested (along with her baby daddy Aaron Greene) with: a plastic container with seven grams of a white chemical powder called HMTD, which is so powerful, cops evacuated several nearby buildings. Police also found a flare launcher, which is a commercial replica of a grenade launcher; a modified 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun; ammo; and nine high-capacity rifle magazines, the sources said. Cops also allegedly uncovered papers about creating homemade booby traps, improvised submachine guns, and various handwritten notebooks containing chemical formulas.

Nod with me on this one, if you guessed Occupy Wall Street, you would be right. Now I am no gynecologist, but Morgan is nine months preggers. Which means in a couple of days, weeks max (provided Morgan is human and not an elephant) a wittle 99&er is going to come squirting out. Glad the coppers found all that explodey stuff. Could be dangerous with the little guy around and all. . .

German Sailors Support Occupy Wall Street?

Okay, pop-quiz. Find three things clearly wrong with the caption of this picture:

German Sailors place flowers in support of Occupy Wall Street (Slide 32 of 122)

Start with the German thingee, observe the Sailor part, and then end with the word support. Extra credit for noticing the flowers. Sailors should not touch flowers whilst in uniform. Per DODINST 1338.1M: Flower handling in uniform is strictly an Air Force activity. No other service shall infringe upon the Air Force’s distinct whoricultural realm and responsibility. 

Please note the above does not remark on the Occupy movement, which is political in nature. And thus verboten for military. As a show of displeasure with Hans und Franz here, I am boycotting Der Wienerschnitzel. No more krauty dogs for me. Ja wohl, der kommissar!

Lastly, trim up your sideburns there, Franz. You may support the 99%ers, but you shouldn’t ape ’em.

Okay, one last run through the slides. To see if there are any morsels left. Wait, you gotta be kidding me. Taste this:

Delicious, Corporate Occupy Wall Street Cake (Slide 35 of 122)

You’da thunk the pie would be homemade, like a nice carrot cake. After all, the movement is against corporations, is it not? Me, I’ve macked lotsa cake in my time and that slab absolutely screams corporate. Also, why no dollar signs in Wall $treet? C’mon Brosephs, you’all are slipping.

Blood pressure rising. Eyes starting to narrow. Some veterans decided to protest a couple of months ago. In uniform. Not sure how this picture did not make the rounds:

Occupy Protest: 2nd Class Petty Officer and Army Specialist (Slide 1 of 122)

Take out the karaty diamond earring there, Petty Officer.

Shave your goat if you are going to wear your old uniform, Specialist.

I am not Army, but is that an airborne patch and a Screaming Eagle on your left shoulder? Take those off too. Better men than you and I died for that storied unit. And you only dishonor ’em.

Damn, I need some cake now. Got any?

Wake Up

Occupy Wall Street Oct 11, 2011

The New York Daily News has their yearly review of all the pictures that made 2011. The above shot encapsulated the OWS movement.

You have your mandatroy Che. And the bum sleeping, wrapped in the American flag. The Class War poster on the left. But it is covered up, so you can only partially read it. Oh and the 99%er playing guitar. I gave my love a cherry.

The one productive member of society: the businesswoman strolling to work in the foreground. . .

Occupy the Rose Bowl and Occupy the Navy

The television is blaring the DVR of the Rose Bowl Parade and I am wondering what the Occupy folks are going to do. With the miracle of the internet, I don’t have to wait. I can google them and see their silliness:

Occupy the Rose Bowl Parade, Stop Foreclosures

Okay, so you are looking to convince people that your ideas are sound. You have a poster, after all, that reads: You can’t arrest an idea (above on the left.) Well, that is a new one for me. I have been trying to get certain ideas arrested for years. Like the idea we are supposed to follow fashion. One year, bell bottoms, the next: skinny jeans? No way. And to the clown holding the American flag upside down (on the right): is that going to win you over supporters? I don’t theeeeenk so.

Next up, your standard smug hippie protesting the hateful police. Come some armed assailants ambling his way, I’ll bet the below man would reassess that “hate” label.

Occupy the Rose Parade, Stop Hate

Brace for something a little different. The Navy is force-shaping. It is fairly standard in lean years. In many ways, I like the idea of keeping an agile force. Anyone honest in uniform will admit that we have deadwood. I truly hope we are cutting the bottom 1%. Some Navy spouses are protesting and they call their movement (speaking of 1%) #OccupyERB:

Call it #OccupyERB. Sailors and their spouses, infuriated by the service’s decision to boot 2,947 sailors via two enlisted retention boards, have launched a campaign for a review of the cuts, with a larger goal of overturning them altogether.

A Navy spouse set up a Facebook page — “Sailors Against ERB” — where sailors, spouses and their families and friends can share information and organize. Some spouses are using Twitter to spread the word and to share a YouTube video that highlights the hardships the cuts mean for families. These efforts link to their primary tool: an online petition to get the White House to review the ERB.

Why is this picture part of the Navy #OccupyERB article?

ERB stands for Enlisted Retention Board. The Officers will be next, undoubtably. The Air Force has already culled. My suggestion, if you are tops or close to the top in your field, you need not worry. Funny how that works. Also, I would avoid the Occupy label, but that is just me. . .

Occupy Wall Street’s Anne Hathaway Gets Engaged and Rants at Obscure Blogger in Announcement!

Adam Shulman, Anne Hathaway, the Mellow Jihadi

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Let’s get right to our breaking news: Occupy Wall Street‘s Anne Hathaway has gotten engaged!

Not only did the 99%er bag the ring, she actually acknowledged the Mellow Jihadi in her engagement announcement. And the proof below will shock you! She took us to task for our previous work, calling this blog “not good story.”

But before we discuss the tawdry dirty laundry, let’s scarf the details:

The star of “Rachel Getting Married” is about to have a wedding of her own. Anne Hathaway is engaged to her boyfriend of three years, Adam Shulman, an actor and jewelry designer.

The couple sparked rumors of their impending nuptials yesterday when Hathaway sported a very blingy ring on her left ring finger as the two strolled through Prospect Park with their dog. The actress’ her rep confirmed the news to Us Weekly.

Enos, Sonny Shroyer, original Dukes of Hazzard

Adam is an actor and a jewelry designer? Heading over to IMDB right now. Okay, his defining role is that of Deputy Enos Strate in Jessica Simpson’s Dukes of Hazzard movie. The bug-eyed actor Sonny Shroyer originated the character, a slice of thespian masterwork not seen since Don Knotts in the aviation series, Knotts’ Landing.

Hmmmm, upon further review, it was not the Jessica Simpson movie, but the bombastic prequel. That came out to universal hisses in 2007. In Spain, it was titledDos chalados y muchas curvas – El comienzo. (Blogger, who cried and cried wolf, confession: that is the real title. No joke.)

As for other acting jigs, do not discount Mr. Shulman’s star turn as Youth Voter #1 in the West Wing. Any role with a number attached signifies stardom. Marlon Brando himself got his first big break as Anonymous Mumbler #3.

Adam Shulman’s Jewelry

Okay, so clearly Adam is not about to burn up the acting world anytime soon. Let’s peer at his jewelry to the left.

Lightkeeper is its name. It can be found here. I don’t get it. The price: $1100. Wow. Do we have any jewelry experts in the house? Who can explain it to us? It comes with a pair of tweezers. Not twizzlers, tweezers.

On his jewelry website, a guy who calls himself the curator (like a museum curator?) remarks on the Lightkeeper piece:

“Adam Shulman is a Renaissance man with a wealth of fascinating ideas that transcend many creative disciplines. James Banks is a design byproduct of his beautiful imagination.”

Yeah yeah. I know a snorkling expedition when I see one. Obscure reference guide: A snorkling expedition is a snarky phrase, very often thrown around by senior military bosses to junior folk. I myself, received it once. Once:

Him: Ensign NavyOne, I am poaching you to join my department and take over Division 99 as a Division Officer.
Me: Great, sir! I think I will get 99 tattooed on my forearm.
Him: (One raised eyebrow.)
Me: (Weak, waning smile.)
Him: (Eyebrow returning to normal.) Knock off the snorkling expedition, Ensign NavyOne.
Me: Yes sir. No more brown-nosing from me.
Him: (One raised eyebrow.)
Me: (Weak, waning smile.) Well, for today at least.
Him: (Eyebrow returning to normal.)
Me: (Weak, waxing smile.)

Why is Anne Hathaway Mad at the Mellow Jihadi?

So as previously documented, Ms. Hathaway had some rocky moments when she dated a convicted conman for four years. She was known to be risk-adverse to hitchy relationships; the mama and paparazzi even dubbed her Anne There’s-No-Way, when they asked the 99%er if she would ever get married.

But the cherry on the weekend sundae was when Princess Anne took this blog to task in her final statement to Harper’s Bazaar. (Not to be confused with the emo rag, Larper’s Bizarre):

“So far, it’s worked out great,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “Mellow doesn’t always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life.”

Mellow does not always make for a good story?!? I am pissed. What’s she got against this obscure blog? Oh well, I’ll take the good life thingee. No such animal as bad press, right?