The past several days have been some what of a nightmare. The kind of nightmare where the final assault through an enemy position depends upon speed and muscle memory, yet every step taken is in slow motion, as the ground turns to thick oozing black sticky treacle! Which is all down to my ‘Internet Service Provider’ (oxymoron) not providing the service as contracted. My ISP download speed has decreased each day, even though I pay through the nose for their best available technology. Living in the sticks comes with its own pro’s and con’s, which I readily accept; but having gotten used to a moderate speed – the slow down ‘to a virtual halt’ has taken its toll in more ways than one. Even after numerous calls to the dreaded land of broken pidgin English, it still remains as slow as Joe Biden’s learning curve… Vice President Joe Biden ordering three beers… Having called my ISP ‘help desk’ multiple times it would now appear that I have spoken to all of the siblings of the Singh, and the Gupta family, as well as their extended family members. It was whilst speaking to one of the Kapoor brood earlier today that I had to politely ask for someone who could speak English a little better, as I was really struggling to understand ‘Peter’ the tech advisor. My request must have hit a raw nerve as he lost his cool and sarcastically said “Do you speak Hindi?” To which I politely replied “Good Gawd man don’t be silly, I am English-born and bred, I don’t need to speak Hindi!”
I hate being cut off in mid sentence, I find it very rude, and totally unprofessional
Hannah and Nipper have benefitted from the past weeks intermittent digital transfer as we have pounded the country lane more often than usual. It also keeps their claws filed down, and assists in tightening their paw muscles – something field walks tend to slacken off.
It’s true that I have also benefitted from the additional exercise, especially through grinding my teeth in seething anger, which has left me with the strengthened jaw muscles of a young Arnie Schwarzenegger.
It was through the course of such a walk (after todays part conversation with ‘Peter’) that I actually happened upon the reason of the faulty download speed. A mile from my humble abode I walked past the soles on a pair of boots protruding from a dense bush that were connected to a pair of trousered legs belonging to a British Telecom engineer – tinkering inside a steel cable cabinet. Who almost went into shock when Nipper sniffed his bottom just as I said “Hello mate!” Fortunately he was wearing a hard hat, as he whacked his head on the lip of the box…
Similar: A BT ‘Openreach’ engineer working on a roadside fibre broadband cabinet.
After chatting with the engineer it transpires that BT are now replacing the old system with a £2.5 billion super-fast fibre broadband programme – that includes my humble abode’s post coded area. Which places me within the ‘warp factor speed’ of the Enterprise class, and out of the ‘haste of a striking slug’ class. Such tinkering over the last several days on both systems appears to have created blockages within the whole system, and it took a blunt speaking Yorkshire engineer to explain and resolve it! I’ve grown fond of my super toned jaw line, and enjoyed the additional country lane walks, I now need to seek frustration elsewhere for it to continue… Yours Aye.
And while British Telecom seeks to reduce its bills (vastly) by outsourcing its IT ‘help desk’ to India. It cuts no corners on spending within its UK-based call centres, from where it pushes its products hard onto the British consumer. The following clip drops the F bomb, quite often, and quite loud. It is not recommended for those little cherubs under the age of 18, or anyone who is easily offended: It is definitely Not Safe For Work, especially if you work in a convent, nursing home, anger management organisation, or any such institution. This is a genuine recorded phone call made by an agent from a UK-based British Telecom call centre to a fed up BT customer whose number is listed as Ex Directory; Listen to the very end of the clip to hear the agents request to his line manager…