Gotcha – yer hideous barsteward…

The descent of ‘Jihadi John’: Facebook photos show transformation from a rapper on streets of Maida Vale to prime suspect in brutal beheading of journalist James Foley.article-2733228-20C3699300000578-455_636x382Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary was a rising star who performed under the name ‘L Jinny’ before leaving his parents’ leafy £1million home in Maida Vale, London, to fight in Syria. Now an album of pictures has emerged showing his slide into radicalism. Early shots show him wearing western labels such as Adidas hoodies as he raps in the studio (top left), while another shot shows him squaring up to riot police. Later images show the former lyricist in military fatigues and a mask wielding a machine gun, an AK-47 and an M16 assault rifle. The descent of ‘Jihadi John’ the prime suspect in brutal beheading of American journalist James Foley.

I am all for conducting Israeli justice on those who act in such a way, by bulldozing his, or his family’s home into the ground. An extreme measure, conducted under extreme circumstances, against extremists; no more pussy footing around.      Yours Aye.

“The murdering barsteward is definitely a British Muslim, and judging by his punctuated slang accent, as well as a few colloquialism’s, I would say it places him from one of the inner Borough’s of London, and not from a working class background – more middle class. One thing is for certain; even though his face is covered, his height as well as body frame with bow legs, combined with his slow measured speech, and his exposed eyes with half-dropped eyelids, has revealed who he really is.”

PS: Maida Vale is an inner London borough that is but 3.5 miles from Westminster, and the House of Commons…

And Gawd bless you too!

School suspends teen who said ‘bless you’ to another student who sneezed.article-2730454-20ACE38300000578-678_636x382A teacher at Dyer County High School in Tennessee banned the phrase and other ‘godly speaking’ (list of banned words pictured bottom left) from the classroom. After student Kendra Turner, 17 (right), uttered the phrase she was sent to the principal’s office where she spent the rest of the day in in-school suspension.article-2730454-20ACD64000000578-798_306x423 She says she doesn’t want the teacher to get in trouble for the suspension, but wants to spread the word that it’s ok to ‘defend God’. Other students at the school rallied in Turner’s support by wearing handmade ‘bless you’ shirts. Teen suspended from school for saying “Bless-you” to a fellow student who sneezed.

I suppose if Kendra Turner whispered  “Alhamdulillah,” (“Praise be to God”) to her sneezing friend she would have gotten away with it, as the term would have been more acceptable! Just as the word is uttered to a fellow sneezer in the Arabic world…      Yours Aye.

Cry ‘Havoc!’ And let slip the dogs of war

The fanatic who beheaded an American journalist has been named as one of a gang of British jihadi’s known as ‘The Beatles’ tasked with looking after the Islamic State’s Western hostages. article-2730336-20AC896E00000578-969_636x382Now considered one of the world’s most wanted men a massive manhunt has been launched. A former hostage said the masked Islamic State maniac (pictured) was a Londoner he had known as ‘John’. He featured in a gruesome Islamic State video which showed him issuing threats to the United States and the West before killing journalist James Foley with a knife held in his left hand. Security Services are using advanced voice recognition techniques to try to identify the murderer seen in the five-minute IS video. Experts are also studying the film to pinpoint where it was filmed. SAS actioned to find the British butcher masked ISIS Jihadi who was filmed beheading American journalist

The hunt is on, and the SAS are there. “Cry ‘Havoc!’, and let slip the dogs of war”.      Yours Aye.

And adding insult to injury: “We will be relentless”… Right after my vacation: Fury as Obama is seen fist-bumping, high-fiving and laughing on the gold course just MINUTES after pledging justice for American journalist James Foley.article-2730503-20B0784B00000578-849_964x479President Barack Obama reacted to the on-camera slaying of photojournalist James Foley (far left) for five minutes on Wednesday, telling a global audience that ‘when people harm Americans, anywhere, we do what’s necessary to see that justice is done.’ Minutes later he began a five-hour round at Farm Neck Golf Course on Martha’s Vineyard for his seventh visit to the links, during a vacation that began August 9. Obama (left) was joined by private equity investor Glenn Hutchins (center) and Cyrus Walker (right), the cousin of Obama’s top adviser Valerie Jarrett. He also golfed with former NBA star Alonzo Mourning (bottom).article-2730503-20AC475200000578-730_634x941

The decision to hit the golf course brought a chorus of condemnation from TV commentators, journalists, conservative partisans and Twitter users – and even an unintentional slap from the left-leaning New York Times. Retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel Ralph Peters could hardly contain his anger Wednesday night on the Fox News Channel as he discussed Obama’s reactions to the ISIS terror network’s beheading of Foley, an American who had been missing since 2012. ‘There is no way the president should be stupid enough to go play golf’ after such a somber speech, Peters said.“We will be relentless”… Right after my vacation…

Stood-too! Now try come and take it…

1408612620079_Image_galleryImage_AJ6PAA_vertical_girl_womaBuy a powerful vacuum cleaner NOW before they are BANNED: New E.U. rules ‘will outlaw best models from next month because they’re not eco-friendly!’

Many of the best vacuum cleaners will be taken off the market from next month when a new EU rule comes into force banning the most powerful models. Households that need a powerful vacuum cleaner should ‘act quickly’ before all of the models currently available sell out, consumer watchdog Which magazine? warned.Sentria From September 1, manufacturers will not be able to make or import vacuums with a motor that exceeds 1,600 watts. Powerful vacuum cleaners to be BANNED: New EU rules to ban the best models.

Sod the European Union and their faceless bloody busy-bodies, who sit around all day with nothing better to do except to think of different ways of buggering decent people around. My vacuum is so powerful it sucks up the woven pattern of my Axminster carpet, as well as the occasional slow canine into the collection bag! ;-) ‘Well hear this’ you European scoundrels “If you want my Kirby  Sentria® II Vacuum, then you will have to take it by prising the handle out from the cold clenched hand of my dead body.” Barstewards one and all…   Yours Aye.

Ginger bread cake & Para Military Police

For reasons pertaining to personal sanity, I escaped from my humble abode yesterday, and sought a change of scenery, which led me onto the small market town of Pickering. (Stock photographs, not my own.)p1884ua8imt871n8bgfaj6fao14pickering

Tea Rooms PickeringA person cannot visit Pickering without taking in (as well as sampling) the delights of Elizabeth Botham’s Tea Rooms. Whilst overindulging in sampling a slice of cake or two, I happened to get into a friendly conversation with a recently retired American couple (hailing from North Dakota) who were visiting and touring the Yorkshire area. leadfergusonThe conversation got around to the ‘Para-Military Police Force’ operating in Ferguson, Missouri. I listened intently as obvious words of wisdom were poured forth over the arming of the Police with ‘war stock’ weapons, as well as up armoured military vehicles, and the rhyme and political reasons behind it. “Huge mistake by the government – should never have happened.” After decrying the para-military police force and their tactics (his words and description not mine) he then explained that he had served as a Police Officer… Definitely old school! Two lovely people as it turned out, who were about to drive off and visit Helmsley for the rest of the day. I gave them the nod and wink on what to see, as well as a heads up on the best coffee & cake shop to visit. The tapestry of life never ceases to amaze me.      Yours Aye.

Cowardly executioner with a British accent

Executioner with a British accent beheads US journalist in the name of ISIS: Islamist group decapitate unflinching James Wright Foley in horrific video – then threaten to slaughter another.article-2729287-20A6019000000578-919_964x400American freelance photo-journalist James Wright Foley has been beheaded by ISIS in a video message posted online and titled as ‘A Message to America’. Foley, (pictured middle kneeling,) has been missing since November, 2012, after being taken hostage while reporting from Syria. ISIS posted the extremely graphic video to social media as proof of their barbaric action, pictured center. Foley addresses the camera before he is killed and labels the US government his real killers as a man in black robes armed with a gun stands over him.article-2729287-20A5DC2000000578-132_634x467

The journalist who has been missing for almost two years then leaves a haunting message for his brother, John, who is in the US Airforce. ‘I died that day, John, when your colleagues dropped that bomb on these people. They signed my death certificate’ ISIS, which has claimed control of most of northern Iraq and parts of Syria is threatening to kill Time journalist Joel Sotloff (pictured top right) next unless President Obama ceases attacks on the terror group. Foley’s family including parents John and Diane, of Rochester, New Hampshire, pictured left, have publicly appealed for their son’s release. Foley was previously held captive by pro-Gaddafi forces in Libya. ISIS-beheads-journalist-James-Wright-Foley The video clip of the execution is not part of the live link

I have watched the separate video clip on James Wright Foley’s murder on ‘LiveLeak’ so those amongst you, who may well not wish to view the same, can take my word over the following. The murdering barsteward is definitely a British Muslim, and judging by his punctuated slang accent, as well as a few colloquialism’s, I would say it places him from one of the inner Borough’s of London, and not from a working class background – more middle class. One thing is for certain; even though his face is covered, his height as well as body frame with bow legs, combined with his slow measured speech, and his exposed eyes with half-dropped eyelids, has revealed who he really is. As I type this at 01:30hrs, I guarantee that those working the early dog watch in GCHQ will now also know who he is. I trust they reveal his identity within this working day, so that he knows he is now on borrowed time. I further hope that when he does meet his end it is a long slow agonising one. He and his ilk are scum, and they should be wiped off the face of the earth.

James Wright Foley did not cry out, or break down emotionally, he remained strong throughout, and faced his end bravely and unflinchingly. A very brave American executed in the most brutal way by a cowardly British Muslim. My deepest condolences go out to his family and friends.      Yours Aye.

‘Humin’ a new contacts and phone app

HuminHumin is a new contacts and phone app that captures all of your relationships and remembers them in the way that you naturally think…

As I have often stated in the past, “To a certain extent, I am a gadget man.” And while I doff my cap towards Sharon Standifird in the post below; I do think that there is far too much personal information being projected around the molecular airwaves that is open to abuse. Before long we will need an app that  acts as a ‘COMPLETE BLOCKER’ to protect ourselves. It follows that a variety of government listening ‘Agencies’ will see this as a threat, and selectively intercept a person’s every day life who purchases ‘COMPLETE BLOCKER’ Which is a fictitious app name invented purely for this post. No doubt I have already incurred the wrath of the afore-mentioned government listening ‘Agencies’ by typing ‘COMPLETE BLOCKER’ three times, and publishing this post for all to read.dewey-cheatem-and-howe A note from the Mellow Jihadi legal team ‘Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.’ (Which is also fictitious, and a figment of the ’3 stooges’ writers mind.) ‘COMPLETE BLOCKER’ is not available on the market as it does not exist. However; the Mellow Jihadi blog will quote artistic licence and demand a 25 % fee from any individual, firm, company, or registered organisation, who use the words, or title COMPLETE BLOCKER on any product. Oh Bollock’s! Unintentionally I have typed out ‘COMPLETE BLOCKER’ six times…  You read it here first.  :-)    Yours Aye.

Call home or face the consequence

article-2727267-209954C200000578-765_634x500You don’t want to mess with Sharon Standifird of Houston, Texas. Fed up with her son’s failure to pick up the phone when she calls and his ability to never answer her texts, the discerning Houston mom decided, with the ways of modern technology, surely she could do something about it. ‘I literally just started researching how to develop an app,’ Standifird told CBS

article-2727267-20995D0B00000578-953_634x1115Once she started, Standifird didn’t stop, and after a few months of designing the application and then meeting with a developer, the result was IGNORE NO MORE The app allows Standifird to deactivate the phone belonging to her son, Bradley, after installing it onto his iPhone.

Bradley requires a password to reactive the phone, which only his mom has. He cannot call or text anyone but his mom when Ignore No More is activated. The phone will let him dial 911, (UK’s 999) but it won’t allow him access to the internet or games.article-2727267-20995D0100000578-255_634x1111

Sharon Standifird, of Texas, has successfully developed an app called Ignore No More, allowing parents to lock their child’s phone until they call back, and it’s yours for $1.99.

Perhaps the next step is to play a really awful tune (Beiber springs to mind!) that cannot be turned off until the phone is answered. B.Z. Sharon Standiford of Houston, Texas. I personally would just cancel the phone, or put an axe through it; tough love…      Yours Aye.

US Army Reservist saves British Colonel

US Army Reservist took assassin’s bullets for British Colonel. US casualty report reveals how a US Army reservist, whose day job is with the technology company Apple, was shot protecting a British Army colonel during a bloody attack in Afghanistan.

A British Army colonel’s life was saved by a US soldier who jumped in front of an assassin’s hail of bullets, it has been reported. The US Army reservist, who normally works for Apple, the Silicon Valley-based electronics company, was shot six times as an Afghan assailant opened fire on a group of high-ranking officers. The attack took place earlier this month at the ‘Marshal Fahim National Defence University,’ a training complex that includes a British-run army officer academy which is currently training 1,500 cadets known as “Sandhurst in the Sand”. The reservist, who has not been named, used his body as a shield to literally “take a bullet” for the senior British officer, and was hit twice in the leg and once in the shoulder, with a further three rounds stopped by his bulletproof vest. Details of the act of heroism were revealed in an American casualty report, the newspaper said. It describes how the reservist returned fire with both his rifle and sidearm.

The attack by Mohammad Rafiqullah killed Major General Harold Greene, the deputy commanding general, Combined Security Transition Command-Afghanistan.
Maj Gen Greene was the highest ranking US officer to be killed in hostilities since Lt Gen Timothy Joseph Maude was killed by a hijacked airliner that crashed into the Pentagon, on September 11, 2001. A similar ranking officer has not been killed overseas since the Vietnam War. The attack took place during an outdoor briefing at the Marshal Fahim National Defence University, in Kabul. The Afghan Ministry of Defence described the attacker as “a terrorist wearing Afghan National Army uniform”.

‘According to one report, Rafiqullah opened fire about 10 minutes into the delegation’s third briefing in an open area near a military policing unit. He emptied one magazine before changing to a second in a three-minute attack. According to witnesses, he fired indiscriminately at the group and did not appear to be targeting any specific person. At first, it was unclear where the firing was coming from – but then a Nato soldier saw the gunman and killed him with two shots.’ Several other senior officers, including a German Brigadier General and the Afghan Commander of the training base, were among the 14 injured, which also included two Britons. Their injuries were said to be not life threatening. The Ministry of Defence declined to comment due to an ongoing investigation.

Additional Comment: The US reservist’s amazing act of heroism is believed to have saved the life of the senior British officer, as it is understood he was wearing no body armour. The unnamed Reservist soldier has already been on three overseas tours with the US military, including one to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

I sincerely hope that the whole incident is also being investigated by the Royal Military Police ‘red caps’ and that credit is eventually given where it is due to the US Army Reservist, who appears to have conducted himself impeccably. If proven that the British Colonel was not correctly dressed in accordance with British Forces Standing Orders; it is hoped he carries the can accordingly.      Yours Aye.

Report By David Barrett, Home Affairs Correspondent: The Telegraph; Also attributed to the original report from The Times.

Break out the Red, White, and Blue!

Prime Minister David Cameron: “Our generational struggle against a poisonous ideology”
Writing in The Sunday Telegraph, David Cameron warns of a terrorist caliphate on the shores of the Mediterranean if the Islamic State succeeds. By Christopher Hope, Senior Political Correspondent Sunday Telegraph.david-cameron_3008705b“The West is embroiled in a generational struggle against a poisonous brand of Islamic extremism that will bring terror to the streets of Britain unless urgent action is taken to defeat it,” David Cameron warns today. “The world cannot turn a blind eye to the creation of an extremist caliphate in the heart of Iraq.” Warning that Islamic State fighters already control thousands of square miles of territory, Mr Cameron says that if these “warped and barbaric” extremists are not dealt with now, they will create a “terrorist state” on the shores of the Mediterranean.” He warns that Britain will have to use its “military prowess” to help defeat “this exceptionally dangerous” movement, or else terrorists with “murderous intent” will target people in Britain. The Prime Minister says he fears the struggle will last “the rest of my political lifetime”.

“The creation of an extremist caliphate in the heart of Iraq and extending into Syria is not a problem miles away from home. Nor is it a problem that should be defined by a war 10 years ago. It is our concern here and now. Because if we do not act to stem the onslaught of this exceptionally dangerous terrorist movement, it will only grow stronger until it can target us on the streets of Britain. We already know that it has the murderous intent.” In his article, Mr Cameron goes on to say that Great Britain and the West need a firm security response to the crisis in Iraq and that fighters from Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (Isil) cannot simply be removed by air strikes alone. Prime Minister David Cameron: “Our generational struggle against a poisonous ideology.”

‘Gordon Bloody Bennett!’ Either Cameron grew a set of man size testicles on his holiday, or some one close to him whispered a reminder in his ear that “The United Kingdom General Election of 2015 will be the election to the 56th Parliament of the United Kingdom. The terms of the Fixed-term Parliaments Act 2011 mandate dissolution of the parliament on 30 March 2015 and that the election will be held on 7 May 2015, unless Parliament itself orders an earlier date.” Of course there is always the chance that the Top Brass twisted his arm by stating “We either fight them over there, or we fight them on the streets over here!” Perhaps one day we will be informed as to what lit the fire under his backside. Either way, it gets my absolute vote. Break out the Red, White, and Blue Battle Flag, on both sides of the pond…      Yours Aye.

“Permission for top lip to quiver Sir!”

At ‘daft-0-clock’ I made my Saturday morning pilgrimage towards the bakers to pick up a couple of warm fresh uncut bread loaves. Walking into the baker’s shop across the worn yorkshire stone step you leave the cool morning air outside, as the warm glorious aromatic air within punches you senseless. Sadly, this morning resulted in the aromatic blitz, but no bread!  The shelves were almost bare, even the sweet delicate savoury pastries were gone (top lip quivering.) I checked my watch, just as the village clock chimed 07:00hrs, this was an unusual occurrence, as was the heavier traffic en-route along the country lanes. (Below; Whitby harbour, and Whitby Abbey top right of pic.)article-2726539-209093C400000578-679_970x524 Normally the only traffic encountered at 06:00 hrs would be the occasional tractor, or a milk float making door to door deliveries. I spoke with the baker’s wife and pitifully asked “Where is everything thing, the bread, and the savouries?” She looked at the shelves forlornly “Sorry, we’ve been wiped out by the Yorkshire Moors Railway enthusiasts travelling to Pickering and Whitby for the new steam train service, but another batch will be ready within the hour!” My top lip steadied itself until she said “But no savouries for a couple of hours.” My sigh was audible, and unintended, as I had to get back and walk the canines within the hour. Bidding her a hearty good-bye I departed empty-handed – no bread loaves or pecan latticed pastries, a disastrous start to the day.article-2726539-208C829300000578-608_968x630  

For the first time in fifty years two magnificent steam locomotives travel side-by-side to the seaside town of Whitby to celebrate the opening of a new passenger platform:

The baker walked out behind me and called me back, he mentioned a delicatessen that also baked on the premises, which was in Malton, a small Market town close-by (yet far enough away from the route of the selfish, greedy, picnic-happy, train enthusiast ‘barstewards!’)Pecan lattice sweet savoury  

I found the delicatessen with ease, and received a secondary aromatic assault on my senses. The morning went well there after, and has continued so right up until now, as I have just remembered the large pecan lattice savoury pastry with my name on it, just waiting to be devoured. With a pot of tea of course!     Yours Aye.

The Caliphate from within

The Islamic State, a hardline Sunni jihadist group that formerly had ties to al Qaeda, has conquered large swathes of Iraq and Syria. Previously known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the group has announced its intention to reestablish the caliphate and has declared its leader, the shadowy Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, as the caliph. The lightning advances the Islamic State made across Syria and Iraq in June shocked the world. But it’s not just the group’s military victories that have garnered attention — it’s also the pace with which its members have begun to carve out a viable state.IS VICE NEWSFlush with cash, gold bullion, and US weapons seized during its advances in Iraq, the Islamic State’s expansion shows no sign of slowing down. In the first week of August alone, Islamic State fighters have taken over new areas in northern Iraq, encroaching on Kurdish territory and sending Christians and other minorities fleeing as reports of massacres emerged.” The Islamic State by reporter Medyan Dairieh of VICE News 

In my humble opinion the troubles in Iraq and Syria has received far better informative coverage through a variety of online blog’s over the last several months, than that presented by the international news media, whose attention span tends to wane once a ‘top end’ celebrity buys a new puppy. “VICE News reporter ‘Medyan Dairieh’ spent three weeks embedded with the Islamic State (formerly ISIS), gaining unprecedented access to the group in Iraq and Syria as the first and only journalist to document its inner workings.”

The full clip is 42 minutes long, which is worth watching, so put your knitting down, cover the budgerigars’ cage, and walk the cat later… Some coverage may not be suitable for those under the age of 18-years. (Which is utter legal nonsense as even 10-year-olds play far worse ‘shoot-em-all-dead’ video games.)          Yours Aye.

Like spreading butter with a hot knife

 The age-old problem of spreading butter straight from the fridge has finally been solved – thanks to this nifty new kitchen gadget. 1408007481860_wps_19_BNPS_co_uk_01202_558833_PThe revolutionary device looks like a normal cutlery knife but it has been made with 21 triangular holes down the blade that ‘grate’ the butter. The tiny strips are much easier to spread than a knife loaded with cold butter so sandwich fans can finally avoid tearing holes in their bread trying in vain to get an even coating. The problem of spreading butter straight from the fridge has finally been solved1408007487496_wps_20_BNPS_co_uk_01202_558833_P

The device looks like a normal cutlery knife but it has been made with 21 triangular holes down the blade that ‘grate’ the butter. The tiny strips are much easier to spread than a knife loaded with cold butter so sandwich fans can finally avoid tearing holes in their bread trying in vain to get an even coating. The other side of the knife has a serrated edge so that it can be used to cut the sandwich or toast in half or get rid of the crusts.

A ‘hallelujah’ moment! I use a very old (1901) Sheffield steel kitchen broad blade, with a fine serrated edge to do the same; my toast has to be luke warm, and the butter very cold. It’s part of my breakfast ceremony, and it’s just how it is, my kitchen, my rules. But I do want a half-dozen of these colonial beauties when they come out on the market.   I know, I need to get out more…        Yours Aye.Toast rack n butter knifeUPDATE: Through a Curtis tease (found in the comments below) I have included the above picture of my summer use ‘olive wood burr’ toast-rack, which is one of several types I own and use all year round. Toast-racks are essential in separating hot toasted slices of bread, as each slice maintains its crispness by avoiding condensation otherwise found when set in a pile on a plate. In my humble opinion; soggy limp toast is the sign of a devil worshiper. ;-) 

A penny project that makes ‘cents?’

Family cover their classic Cadillac in more than 38,000 cents (worth roughly the same as a paint job.) Consisting of 38,295 individual coins, worth exactly $382.95-article-2724919-2087604D00000578-660_636x382Larry and Theresa Thompson (top right), from Fort Wayne Indiana, have named the 1949 Cadillac Series 62 ‘Penny’, and still drive it at weekends and during the summer. They bought it in 1999 after seeing an advertisement and decided to attack the coins to it after seeing the paint work was a similar colour. They have added 14 stone (196Ibs) in weight to the car, which the couple have displayed at shows.1408022647778_wps_12_PIC_BY_THERESA_THOMPSON_C Family from Indiana cover their classic Cadillac in more than 38,000 cents

A penny for your thoughts over these practical obsessives. You would need the patience of a saint to stick have stuck with this project.      Yours Aye.

RMS Titanic ‘lunch is served!’

Man converts his garden shed into a replica of the Titanic’s dining room. (And it’s so posh he ate his Christmas dinner there.) For most people, the prospect of eating Christmas dinner while holed up in the garden shed would not be an enticing one. But for John Siggins, 62, the experience last year was one of luxury after he transformed his shed into a precise imitation of the dining room found on the Titanic.1407932276250_wps_5_PIC_FROM_CATERS_NEWS_PICT

1407932507911_Image_galleryImage_PIC_FROM_CATERS_NEWS_PICTThe railway engineer, from Ripley, Derbyshire, has spent up to £10,000 turning the tiny structure into a replica of the lavish room – made famous in the 1997 film about the doomed ship. He has claimed that his creation could be worth ten times that to the right collector.

The corrugated-iron shed features wooden panels, chairs and dining sets from the ship’s sister liner, the Olympic – all of which Mr Siggins has collected over 25 years. Assembled completely by hand, the idea for the project first came about after he was gifted an original blanket handed to a rescued passenger when the ship sunk in 1912.

Mr Siggins was at a library researching a family who had been on the Titanic when an elderly man sitting next to him recognised the name of a survivor he was reading about – Julia Cavendish. The same name was printed on an old blanket that the man unwittingly had at home – which he had acquired through inheritance. As soon as the man mentioned the link, Mr Siggins offered to buy the blanket. Great British Eccentric builds replica RMS Titanic dining room in his garden shed. 1407932290602_wps_6_PIC_FROM_CATERS_NEWS_PICTMr Siggins – a word to the wise mate, ‘you’re improperly dressed, and you need a hobby that gets you out more often.’            Yours Aye.

Vestal virgin pre-booking desk…

‘The dawn of a new era has begun’: ISIS supporters hand out leaflets in London’s Oxford Street encouraging people to move to newly proclaimed Islamic State.1407925540185_Image_galleryImage_Khilafah_EstablishmentISIS supporters have been handing out leaflets to Oxford Street shoppers encouraging them to leave Britain for its new Islamic state. The radicals stood in front of posters declaring ‘the dawn of a new era has begun’ in reference to the caliphate and their literature praised the ‘sacrifices’ made in the Middle East. Scotland Yard has said today it is investigating whether the men were breaking terror laws. Propaganda: ISIS supporters have been handing out leaflets to Oxford Street shopper encouraging them to leave Britain for Syria and Iraq…1407925557738_wps_2_Khilafah_Establishment_TwOne Muslim woman who confronted the men, believed to be from Luton and linked to hate preachers Anjem Choudary and Omar Bakri, said she was racially abused. Asmaa Al-kufaishi, tweeted: ‘This group are promoting ISIS on Oxford Street. Racially abused us when we spoke out. They don’t know Islam. ‘Promoting death of innocent people, telling me to die because of my faith and race and insulting me is not Islamic behaviour.’ Below, pictures of the men and their leaflets have spread across social media.Bu05507CUAAYqGu.jpg-largearticle-2722878-2077B9D800000578-335_634x459Authentic? ISIS militants have reportedly issued these Islamic State passports in the hope they will give the unrecognised state an air of legitimacy. The documents are said to have been issued to 11,000 people. ‘The dawn of a new era has begun’

Speaking as a true Englishman, who was born and bred in Great Britain; I say this to all of the extremists who would take up such an offer. “Don’t forget to pre-book your vestal virgins on the way out of Heathrow Airport, or better still, pre-book them through the halfwit extremists handing out the literature, because they will not be joining you, as they much prefer to stand at the back pushing, as they pour forth their bile.” The reason why they tend to stand at the back acting as extremist REMF’s is because they know that ‘hard rains are going to fall’ pretty soon!’ 

And a very well done to the Muslim lady and her friends who stood up to the extremists, I do truly hope there will be more of you who will do the same.             Yours Aye.

N.B. Note from the Mellow Jihadi legal department ‘Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.’ Heathrow Airport does not operate a pre-booking desk for vestal virgins. It is a figment of the authors mind, designed to match the same deluded figment endorsed by the extremist halfwit hate preachers…