Bourbon Red Turkey Eggs and Pilates

bourbon red turkey eggI like to be open to new experiences, trying new foods, cultural oddities, or activities that I’ve not previously tried. And this last week, I charted two more firsts, bourbon red turkey eggs and Pilates.

Best to get the turkey eggs out of the way. I bought them on a lark (not from a lark) at our local farmer’s market. I consider the egg to be the perfect food- cheap, protein-rich, delicious. So please understand my love of the chicken egg before you scold me for finding the turkey egg to be on the inedible side. I eat eggs nearly every day, so perhaps it was my love of the usual taste that spoiled me; the bourbon red turkey egg will not soon find its way again into my fridge. They were pricey at eight bucks a dozen. (Heck, here from Murray McMurray Hatchery, they are sixty-five bucks for twelve!) I gave away the remaining ten to a buddy who told me he thought they were great. . .

My second first was a Pilates class. I was talked into it by a friend and we willingly went to a beginner’s class. She had taken classes before, I truthfully knew little about the exercise or practice other than the odd contraptions with the Pilates label on them. I will say, I enjoyed the Pilates class far more than the turkey eggs. Guys, laugh all you want, it is great exercise and gets certain muscles that are hard to work out. (My rib muscles are awfully sore!)

Piates reformerI told my Navy cubicle mates and one of them told me he heard Pilates was fun, from his grandmother. It’s okay, I’m a man!

I got such a good workout, I went back this weekend too. I was sweaty and shaky at the end. And my triceps are still exhausted. If you get the chance, do try a Pilates class. The crazy sled thing is called a reformer. (I think.) Did it reform me? Maybe. It’s a hard job, it’ll probably take more than one class!

4 Stabbed at Target

4 stabbed at Target

4 stabbed at Target?

I used to shop at Target when the Navy base was located right around the corner from one. (But it has been years since I stepped into the ol’ Tar-shay.)

The top part of this article, about stabbing at Target, is not post-worthy. Nonsense like this happens everyday. But do read the last sentence:

Authorities say four people have been stabbed inside a Target store in Pittsburgh, including a 16-year-old girl who is in critical condition.

Officers were called to the store in the East Liberty section of the city shortly after 5:30 p.m. Monday. Police say a suspect was arrested at the scene.

A hospital official says the teenage girl was taken to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh in critical condition.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports that other injuries were described as moderate to minor, and a police officer was treated for exposure to pepper spray.

So who sprayed the cop?

Update: Leon Raymond Walls has been charged in stabbing Allison Meadows and three others.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

I’ve heard, straight from the horse’s mouth, that certain costumes are repelling. But does this not sound appealing: We’ve discovered yet another universal truth – a person wearing a ******* looks downright disturbing. But don’t take our word for it, wear this latex mask with realistic **** ***** to your next social function and watch as people scramble to avoid you. Fits most adult heads. Bagged with illustrated tag. No need to thank me!

Welcome Matt Whelan

Mathew Whelan is Britain’s most-tattooed man, with eighty percent of his body all tatt’d up. Including, bizarrely, his eyeballs. You’ll especially like to hear that Matt (also known as King Body Art The Extreme Ink-ite) is currently a volunteer in the office of a Liberal Democrat MP. One job not for him: the welcome mat. Keep him away from the front of the house with that face. (I wonder if Mat knows Alicia Gutierrez?)

Elisa Lam and the Cecil Hotel

two cannibals eating a clown, Elisa Lam at the Cecil HotelThere is an old cartoon of two cannibals eating a clown and one turns to the other and asks, does this meal taste funny to you? (Modern day updated joke to the left.)

I apologize for my morbid humor, but that cartoon was the first thing that came to mind when I read of the Elisa Lam at the Cecil Hotel caper. Especially after reading this: The water did have a funny taste. We never thought anything of it. We thought it was just the way it was here, Sabrina Baugh a tourist from Britain told CNN. I would’ve avoided the Cecil Hotel just considering some of the former occupants. But this gives me another reason.

Haley, Tabby, and AC/DC

The Doors sang People are strange, when you’re a stranger. . . and it never was truer than in the case of Haley Morris-Cafiero. The woman takes pictures of herself not to document life events, but to show the world how a fat person is looked at. It is an odd narcissism. She is the head of the photography department at Memphis College of Art and is one of twenty artists represented by the A.I.R. Gallery in New York. And she apparently has a weakness for donuts. (I am not trying to be funny, she confesses it in the story.) Here is an idea for you, Haley, think about your health and forget what you look like. Forget, too, about that fried ball of sugary dough. And since we are on the topic, you might want to read the story of Tabby Kemp. Both Tabby and Haley are featured today over at the Daily Mail. Didn’t AC/DC have song about this?

18 Heads Found at Airport

Generally, heads without bodies do not fly on airplanes. Or do they? Eighteen of ‘em were just found in Chicago. Of the incident, Brian Bell, a spokesman with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security said: Everybody here is ‘Oh my gosh, you got a box of heads’ and everybody thinks that it’s unheard of. It is a potentially legitimate medical shipment. We’ve seen it at various ports in the nation. I wonder if they got cut-rate tickets. Say, ninety bucks a head? Hand Salute for the link: America’s Sergeant Major.

Kelly Hildebrandt Divorces Self

Kelly Hildebrandt was married to Kelly Hildebrandt. And they are now divorced. (Yes, both spouses had the same name.) The absolute money line: Male Kelly said he would be reluctant to marry anyone with the same name again. He said he suspected there would be another spotlight if that were to happen. 

Kelly Hildebrandt (right) and Kelly Hildebrandt (left) get divorced

Kelly Hildebrandt (right) and Kelly Hildebrandt (left) get divorced

As if there is another girl-pony named Kelly H for him to drag to his Lubbock man-cave.

Sperm Whale William Marotta to Pay Child Support

William Marotta, Angela Bauer, Jennifer SchreinerI imagine (considering I have no experience in this field) that sperm donors are a simple lot. Give ‘em a dixie cup and leave ‘em alone. But what happens when the sperm donor is ordered by a judge to pay child support? Which is what occurred to William Marotta when he contributed his sperm to a lesbian couple, Angela Bauer and Jennifer Schreiner.

Crapi Apartments in West Los Angeles

Los Angeles has a charm all its own. Very often the weather is the same outdoors as it is in. You go outside and it is room temperature. Which is pleasant because you forget all about weather. This may add to the tendency to forgot other things too. Like naming apartment buildings properly:

Great picture (if it is not a photoshop), but it’s got nothing on Reddit user AlphaF who punked her mom at the Grand Canyon. With a massive prank. . .