Ex Bootneck’s back! Apologies for the lack of new material over the past five days, which has been down to a blockage. Not a mental blockage, but one relating to a partial collapse in the main Edwardian-era sewer pit that collects the ‘essence’ from my property.
Allow me to enlighten you. After returning from a very early morning walk to beat the heat, it soon became apparent that the heads, sinks and bathroom in my humble abode were malfunctioning. ‘Not a problem’ thought I. ‘Out with the old bamboo clearing rods, followed by a good long shower, and a hearty Sunday breakfast.’ After 2 hours of ‘rodding’ and cursing, my planned chill out Sunday turned into a mid-summer nightmare… I was facing the blockage from HELL!
To find the brick sewer tank required clearing a dense 6ft high – 20ft x 16ft rectangle patch of wild rose. To get to the concrete lintel covers beneath the patch required digging out 2ft of earth that was thick with roots; followed by a 2ft deep x 40ft extended trench dig that covered the pot drainpipes leading towards my humble abode, where upon I found yet another feed drain that took its source from the main drain alongside the garage. Without going into the gory details, I have spent the last five days toiling in the heat of 84’F, wearing thick industrial waders, stood waist deep in a sewer pit originally built by Irish navvies, one of whom left his name scrawled in concrete for posterity. If you are looking in ‘Niall – 1911′ then you are indeed a lucky man to have lived so long!
Nature in the form of wild rose ‘bush-roots’ defeated the navvies amazing engineering feat, by slowly forcing and lifting several concrete lintels each weighing 168 lbs to gain entry into the moist tank; prising a single brick into the tank blocking an exit hole for good measure. For the past few years the liquid essence has belonged to the rose-bush, which has used its nourishing source to grow and flourish like no other plant around. At least I was blessed with the scent of wild roses, as I shovelled and cut out the root system from within the depths of the cake and liquid hell. Where are the bloody Royal Engineers or SeaBee’s when you need them…
Upon completion this lunchtime, I have now re-named the property’s drainage system on the house plans as follows; (Drain 1) ‘Tony Blair Drain.’ (Drain 2) ‘Gordon Brown Drain,’ (Edwardian sewer pit) ‘Socialist Labour Party.’ (Hand made, hand laid, sewer pipes feeding the system) ‘European Union,’ which I feel is justly deserved because of what runs through it!
As a young Marine without a care in the world; I was ‘always in the s**t, it was only the depth that varied!’ Yours Aye.