Scientology; “pernicious nonsense,” “immoral and socially obnoxious,” “dangerous material.”

Scientology has received critical judgements from the British court legal system in the past, calling it “pernicious nonsense,” “dangerous material” and “immoral and socially obnoxious”. English Parliament described it as a “socially harmful enterprise which indoctrinate’s children and other vulnerable people by “ignorantly practicing quasi-psychological techniques”. Personally I call it “tosh & nonsense”, which achieves a full maximum score of 10 on the ‘cuckoo’ scale. 

New 377,000-square-foot Scientology building has entire floor where members can get ‘super powers!’    Ten thousand scientologist’s are expected to descend on Clearwater, Florida this weekend for the grand opening of a ‘cathedral’ which has been under construction for 15 years. The $145 million Flag Building is a massive seven-story, 377,000-square-foot complex and the tallest building in Clearwater, which is the ‘spiritual headquarters’ of the 59-year-old religion. The opening of the building on Sunday will mark the first time Scientologist’s have had a space to receive ‘Super Power’ training – a program developed by the religion’s founder Ron L Hubbard in the 1970s. 

imagesThe group broke ground on the Mediterranean Revival-style building in 1998, but stopped work after finishing the shell. For three years, the group ceased construction on the project until the city started imposing $250-a-day fines for code violations. (Left; Ron L Hubbard dressed in ‘Mufti the Clown’ super-hero costume, prior to departing the reality of Planet Earth to join an alien circus on planet Ding-Dong!)

Scientology defectors have explained that the building’s slow construction is due to church leader’s who have used the project as a fundraising cash cow. An analysis by the Tampa Bay Times discovered that the church had raised $ 145 million for the building, much higher than the $100 million it was estimated to cost. Former Scientologist couple Rocio and Luis Garcia of Irvine, California contributed more than $340,000 to the construction of the Super Power building, before ultimately suing the church in federal court for dragging out the project ‘as a shill’. Scientology representatives have described the Garcia’s suit as ‘frivolous’. New 377,000-square-foot Scientology building has entire floor where members can get ‘super powers’ While the new building is part of a larger complex of buildings that serve as a spiritual retreat for Scientologist’s, there will be space on the ground floor for visitors to learn about the US-based ‘religion’. The visitor center will have a ‘grand lobby’ with a three-story atrium and exhibits that explain the religion’s belief system and practices. The second and third floors are home to offices and classrooms while the basement houses a huge kitchen and dining areas. Three heroes patiently awaiting ‘super-power’ training. L-R ‘Bar Code Man,’ ‘Flap-Jack,’ and ‘Billy-Bug’…38533-generic_super_herosuper-wendysuperhero-1

In addition to the ‘Wedding Cake’ building in Clearwater Florida, there is also a Secret ‘Twin Peaks’ Scientology base in the California mountains ‘where Shelly Miscavage has lived since disappearing seven years ago.’ The base, 120 miles outside Los Angeles, was built exactly to the specification of Church leader David Miscavige to withstand any nuclear holocaust. Tom Cruise and John Travolta allegedly have special bunkers to escape to when the end of the world arrives.       Secret ‘Twin Peaks’ report in fullarticle-2489172-193D262600000578-927_964x637Former Scientologist Dylan Gill who was foreman when the $18m compound was built believes that is where Shelly Miscavige now lives after she disappeared from public view seven years ago. Argon-filled vaults have been built underground to archive and store the works of founder Ron L. Hubbard. The grounds also feature a mysterious ‘gyro gym’ which some speculate is for ‘torture’ but others say is meant to challenge the user’s senses. Other former Scientologist’s are convinced that the vaults also hold half a billion dollars in gold and cash reserves.

And there we have it, my little poke of fun is in grey italic highlight, the remainder comes from The Daily Mail newspaper, as well as legal fact, as found and recorded by the British courts legal system, as well as further findings in Parliament. So if the men in black shades would like to hunt me down… ‘dig out blind and fill up yer boots’ but come prepared, come very prepared, and come team handed. As I still have my paper back copy of ‘Dianetics’ by  space cadet Ron L Hubbard, which I will gladly lubricate using Deep Heat before forcing it into your rear orifice.            Yours Aye.

Quick Fact

Redheads are harder to sedate than any other group. Using common anesthetics they require 20% more anesthesia. They also have a high tolerance for pain than normal people other types. This is because the Melancortin 1 receptor mutation that gives them red hair also triggers the excess release of Pheomelanin, which among other things stimulates a brain receptor related to pain sensitivity.ThreeScottishWarriors

Which now explains how my Irish Gran could pick up red hot cinders spat from the fire (with her bare hands) before throwing them back onto it again. It also explains why the fighting Irish and the Scots were so hard to knock down… It is staggering to read that research reveals that there are 20MILLION red hair gene carriers in the UK. Even more staggering, is that Yorkshire is as redheaded as Ireland (I was born in County Durham, and originally dark Auburn, until nature took its course)! article-2401346-1B7041FC000005DC-552_634x757 Map produced by the UK’s DNA showing where redheaded genes are concentrated. In Mediaeval times, red hair was associated with moral degradation, and intense sexual desire. images-2 Redheads with green eyes were regarded as vampires, werewolves and witches. The Spanish inquisition singled them out for persecution, believing their hair to be a sure sign that they stole the fires of hell.

Through personal experience I can state that redheads are my Kryptonite, and with that I will bid you all a goodnight!

Yours Aye.

Oil up the chainsaw

Having double checked my diary, I am absolutely clear that as I type this at 21:12 hrs GMT, it is still Thursday 11th July 2013. Which means that the following link is not an April 1st bite. The link also has a movie clip, (for those out of mind bleach you may wish to view it later). WARNING: the link also contains cliches so corny that you may wish to turn off the sound completely.
article-2360579-1AC47C98000005DC-535_634x473Is this the most ridiculous movie ever made? Los Angeles ‘destroyed by flying sharks sucked up by tornado’ Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you the newly released Hollywood TV movie, that is ‘SHARKNADO’ (no sharks or ‘actors’ were hurt in the making of this film) Unfortunately!        

Yours Aye

Go Read This

Not only does this blogger quote LTC Dave Grossman, she writes fiction: long windy (not windy as the breeze, but windy like mountain roads) sentences and then short, quick rat-ta-ta-tats.

Here’s a piece:

It has not rained here in months.  The arid desert stretching across al Anbar Province simmers under the radiating sun. The hottest days of summer have passed, but September still yields little comfort.

Our next post is just a hundred meters ahead at the next intersection, where Tin runs into Phoenix.  According to the latest intel reports, this section of our route is hot.  They say to look out for possible small arms and sniper fire near Haqlaniyah Road, to be extra vigilant near cities along the Euphrates, such as Haditha and Rawah.

Don’t stop, my friend. Fiction is a brave road and the only rule is to finish. . .

Ride Fast, Roll Easy

Fiction, published in the November 2011 issue of Urban Velo

Death made me a man.

I’ll never admit it, not now, not rolling Broadway on my bike, my single-gear. But s’true. Losing my parents last year forced me to grow up. To hunt their killer. The man with the tattooed knuckles. I got nothing on him but those fists and they clobber me, always in my thoughts, my dreams.

Riding Broadway, New York’s Mississippi, I catch green after green. I’m 18 and don’t expect anything less. Life’s forever green, no? John races right behind me. On rollerblades way too fast for him. Which is where I come in.

He reaches and grabs the rattly rack on my fender to slow down, dragging his back brake. Like some bladers, he never learned to stop. Quick-like. No hockey-T, no side edge. Never. We got us all greens, he yells to me. We have this conversation every day. An old married couple, we are. ‘Cept for the old part. And the married, couple thing.

Yup, I shout. A car cuts in front of me, and I let loose. Look sharp, I bellow at the taxi. The driver flicks his bored eyes at me, in his side mirror, and we meet. For a second. Before he riffles them away. Taxis. Me and them do not get along. Me and them. Do not. I got stories.

Read the rest at Urban Velo

Porterhouse and Guacamole

The air in the gym stank of old and new sweat, socks and athletic tape. Jack “Porterhouse” Jolson ducked inside his opponent’s left jab, unhinging a ferocious uppercut. The punch slipped off Bingo Naylor’s jaw and traveled a good foot past. Bingo juked, somewhat shaken, and jabbed again, his fist connecting with Porterhouse’s mangled nose.

“Alright, boys,” the trainer yelled. “Take two.”

Porterhouse and Bingo tapped gloves and retreated across the blue canvas to a corner worn with stool legs and sweat pools. I knew every inch of that ring. A single light bulb hanging from the ceiling caught their outlines, projecting them onto the brick wall behind.

“How you lookin’ for the fights next week in Berkeley?” Porterhouse asked.

“Me? Fine. It’s you, brother, who has gotta look out.”

“Look out, what ‘chou talkin’ ’bout?”

“You and your name. Porterhouse ain’t gonna fly in that town.”

“My name? You gotta be kidding.”

“Nope, I would change it if I were you. In the land of fruits, nuts, and flakes, Porterhouses don’t play.”

“What do you suggest?” Porterhouse asked with a blank stare.

“Me? I would go with something them Cali folks like. Nothing too steaky.”

Porterhouse grimaced. “Hows’ about Guacamole?”

“Yeah, that’ll work,” Bingo replied with a nod.

“Alright, boys,” the trainer yelled again. “Get y’all another round. . .”

Slowly Bingo and Guacamole circled each other. Guac appeared off, a step behind, a punch late. But he’ll get his mojo back. I just knew it. Wait ’til he gets to Berkeley and hears his name being chanted. Guacamole, Guacamole, it does wonders for a fighter. Hell, they used to call me Ribeye. Of course, that was before I fought in California. . .

-Hummus Smith