Orange is ‘defiantly’ the new Black!

2A2258C800000578-3145562-image-a-22_1435739266682     Terror group ‘Jaysh Al-Islam’ battling ISIS in Syria has turned the tables on its enemies by capturing and slaughtering dozens of Islamic State soldiers on camera. Dressed in orange jumpsuits – attire usually worn by ISIS’s victims – the Jaysh Al-Islam soldiers lead 13 shackled jihadis to their deaths.2A21FBF800000578-0-image-a-2_1435736066137
Jaysh Al-Islam calls itself the ‘Army of Islam’ and reportedly commands as many as 25,000 loyal fighters following the merger of around 60 rebel factions inside Syria. Islamic State’s captured soldiers are forced to kneel as a commander announces: “Allah did not make a disease  without appointing a new remedy to it!” 

Don’t you just love Islamic extremist fashion, and the way it trends so quickly? It would appear that orange is the new black!   Yours Aye.

A dandy with a hint of lavender…

299BBC2F00000578-0-image-a-77_1434290146078Fashion ‘cruiser-weight!’ Chris Eubank sports a typically eccentric ensemble as he tucks pinstripe jodhpur trousers into purple boots and carries a large clutch bag in London.

Former boxing champion Chris Eubank is known for his eccentric sartorial displays, and was true to form pictured going for lunch with friends in London sporting a typically eye-catching ensemble.

As my dear old Granddad would say: “A modern day dandy with a hint of lavender about him!”  I had to include this British post, to balance out the eye watering US fashion post below 😉 Yours Aye.

Just groovin on through the 70’s

Men’s 1970’s clothing advertisements.
The strange and bizarre fashion of the 1970s is in full force, as men don cable-knit sweaters with belts, bell bottoms and handlebar moustaches.  
Puns and phrases like ‘Underwear that’s funtawear’, referring to barely there briefs, and ‘For whom the bells toll’ for a series of bell bottoms, fill the advertisements that are just as cringe-worthy as they are hilarious. Men’s 1970’s clothing advertisements feature bell bottoms, cable-knit sweaters and short shorts – GROOVY BABY!

Oh for Gawd’s sake, is there any need for the like? Some things should just never see the light of day ever again. Yours Aye.

Meanwhile – down under…

An Australian company specialising in designing lingerie to cater to the man in your life said they are having to expand online just to keep up with rising demand for the unorthodox undergarments. HommeMystere are currently distributing to 30 countries all over the world and have been successfully designing men’s lingerie since 2008. Some of the Brisbane-based company’s risqué designs feature pink lace teddy’s, silk lined bralettes and sexy red g-strings.

MANDATORY CREDIT: Shutterstock. Only for use in story about HommeMystere launching underwear for men. Editorial Use Only. No stock, books, advertising or merchandising without photographer's permission. Mandatory Credit: Photo by (4760591l) HommeMystere launches lingerie specially designed for men Australian online retailer HommeMystere launches lingerie specially designed for men, Australia, May 2015 FULL BODY: An Australian retailer realised there was a real gap in the market, sexy lingerie for men. HommeMystere has specialised in men's lingerie since 2008, and the company hopes to continue to fight stereotypes about what men should wear.
Mandatory Credit: Photo by (4760591l)
HommeMystere launches lingerie specially designed for men
Australian online retailer HommeMystere launches lingerie specially designed for men, Australia, May 2015

An Australian retailer realised there was a real gap in the market, sexy lingerie for men. HommeMystere has specialised in men’s lingerie since 2008, and the company hopes to continue to fight stereotypes about what men should wear.

Not wishing to under mine the fight against stereotypes about what men should wear – I will  say no more than ‘thank Gawd I only ate a light evening meal!’     Yours Aye.

Tactical Duty Kilt – wearer beware!

After showing off the Tactical Duty Kilt as a prank, 5.11 Tactical has started producing them. Offers great freedom of movement, takes a large operator belt, and snap-on cargo pockets hold AR or pistol magazines. For manly men only (who have a kinky outlook on life, and wish to attract wolf whistles at the outdoor gun range.)

Jeezus wept man… I’ve just splurged a mouthful of tea over the flipping keypad, and Nipper has just legged it out of the office to Gawd knows where! Next up will be matching marigold washing up gloves in woodland camouflage. The slippery slope to femininity can be a an eye watering painful one, especially if you’re wearing a frock, and the slope is covered in cactus…      Yours Aye.

Manbags – Bah & Harrumph!

Men splash out £42 MORE on designer manbags than women do on handbags…!manbags2011-men It will come as a shock to any woman who’s ever splashed out on the latest designer handbag, but men actually spend more on their ‘man-bags’. 

A study found men shell out £106 for a bag on average – £42 more than women, who spend around £64. Man-bags are most popular among younger age groups.  Overall 1 in 10 men carry a man-bag most days – rising to a fifth in under-25s

I need to buy an anti-splash screen for my keyboard, as I nearly chugged a mouthful of tea over it when this article caught my eye. Bloody man-bags indeed – more like ruddy ‘boy-bags!’ “There would be much weeping and gnashing of teeth if ever I was gifted one” When needs must I use my trusty Samsonite hard-shell attaché case – tough enough to stop a rhinoceros charge! Yours Aye.

Kalashnikov ‘weapon of peace’?

Kalashnikov relaunch… as a FASHION brand: Assault rifle company unveils plan to become as big as Apple – and rebrands its most famous asset as ‘a weapon of peace’article-2860781-23BF38A300000578-652_636x382Siberian arms maker Kalashnikov wants to expand business beyond its AK-47 rifles into a lifestyle brand as recognised and valuable as Apple computers. And even its most-famous product – arguably the world’s most widely used weapon of war – has been caught in the slick corporate makeover and re-branded a ‘weapon of peace’. Shoppers will soon be able to buy Kalashnikov-branded jumpers, trousers, jeans, and sportswear as the firm struggles with a dip in Russian military spending.  Kalashnikov rebrand’s itself 23BC69DE00000578-0-image-a-42_1417702404547In the nonsensical world of advertising, I’d say they are onto a winner…      Yours Aye.

Pouting-hip-swinging little buttercups

Apparently it’s that time of year where once again we find ourselves into ‘London Fashion Week.’ In a non-politically correct way… I am so glad that I grew up in an era where men were men, and dressed accordingly, unlike the four ‘pouting-hip-swinging’ little buttercups amongst this group below.  Just to get you into the groove – Yeah baby!     Yours

A collection from one of the designers showing as part of the Fashion East showcase. Photo: AP              Why dear Gawd – Why?

Arrrghhh… my eyes-my eyes…

article-2582046-1C56F36200000578-132_636x382Brain bleach‘Meggings?’ Leggings for men? Designers launch range aiming to make men feel ‘comfortable and look great’ in leggings! Priced at £25, sTitch leggings are inspired by celebrities such as Russel Brand and Justin Bieber, who both favour meggings. Luke Shipley and Tom Hunt established sTitch Leggings in 2012 after they were forced to wear ‘ill-fitting female leggings’ to a themed party. This embarrassing fashion faux pas inspired the duo to join forces with friend Joe Hollingworth and set about designing a legging range just for ‘men.’ Pics will enlarge if clicked; however, it is absolutely not recommended!!!


article-2306510-1934A673000005DC-679_306x694They were voted the biggest fashion faux pas of last year, but ‘meggings’ – that’s male leggings – could become a male wardrobe staple this season. Two British designers have unveiled a range of meggings, which they hope will enable men to ‘both look great and feel comfortable in leggings.’ Luke Shipley and Tom Hunt established sTitch Leggingsg in 2012 after they were forced to wear ‘ill-fitting female leggings’ to a themed party. More Depravity Here: Would YOU let your man wear meggings? Designers launch range aiming to make men feel ‘comfortable and look great’ in leggingsjohn-wayne-cowboy

“Be-Jeezus, Joseph, and Mary”… Someone needs to get a grip of these lady-boy ‘designers’ and give them the gipsy’s whisper about what a man really is about (the two hideous specimen’s mentioned above do not count as men in my book.)  

A real man wearing jeans as they should be worn…

Yours Aye.

Fifty shady ways of dress

article-2524592-1A25941000000578-800_634x753ONE dress, FIFTY ways to wear it: Could this versatile frock be the answer to ANY wardrobe crisis? ‘No idea what the answer is?’ With the Christmas party season in full swing and New Year’s Eve just around the corner, finding the perfect dress is never easy – or cheap. That is exactly why one designer has created the ultimate versatile party dress that can be worn fifty different ways to suit any occasion. American designer Nadia Tarr claims that her Butter by Nadia dress is your one-stop solution for any wardrobe crisis.article-2524592-1A23D92A00000578-341_634x394The dress, which can be purchased in various lengths and colours, can be transformed simply by adjusting the material straps. The wraparound straps can be tied in different ways around your waist or neck to create a halter, one shoulder or strapless style. 

And there we have it. Posted for the ladies (and any ex Air Force chaps who have a penchant for such things) 😉 and to create a level balance of posts within the Mellow Jihadi blog. And to also prove that I am not a narcissistic, war mongering, Alpha male…   Yours Aye. Who awaits the incoming barrage from disparaging Air Force chaps; as if they would be seen dead in claret red or emerald-green 😉 Harrumph!

Made in China, obviously

And let it remain so. Please keep the idea within the country, and do not export it!article-2398264-1B60B323000005DC-651_636x382

Chinese go undercover in Darth Vader-style visors as fear of exposure to the sun sweeps country All it would take is for one air head ‘celebrity’ to fashion it at a swanky hip bar on the boulevard… It may well happen!            Yours Aye.

Mavic Red Rock Under Shorts

Men must be careful in buying bike shorts. Spandex bike tights have a certain way of, um, er, well visually emphasizing certain regions. From an ad for Mavic: Wear the Mavic Red Rock Under Shorts under your baggies for all the advantages of chamois-shorts minus the visual violation factor. Mavic’s Ergo 2D Insert uses two densities and two foam thickness to provide all-day comfort and moisture management. Don’t expect any more posting of the underwear genre for the forceable future.

As mad as a bag of frogs

A chapette
A chapette

Summer madness and eccentricity is in full swing over here in jolly old Blighty.
Chap Olympics hits town English tea and crumpets, cream teas and garden fetes, morris men a dancing, long country walks in cotton shirts and flannel trousers, umbrella jousting on bicycles, and nettles eating championships in 32’C heat. ‘Chapette smoking her pipe and drinking tea’.


What better way to end the day than watching the sun gently extinguish itself on the horizon, whilst holding a glass of red wine, or sipping chilled glasses of Pimm’s ‘sundowners’ with friends. Chaps and chapettes, and jolly old England, absolutely spiffing hey ~ what? ‘Chap glopping wine with a chum’.              

Yours Aye.

Cropping, a barbaric medieval practice

One of the best vets I knew worked for the veterinary charity ‘The PDSA’ People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals  He was a professional caring vet who was not only concerned with the animals welfare before him, but also that of the owners. As a young Veterinary he cut his teeth in a practice in the country town of Stafford, in the county of Staffordshire, a town that could be classed as the home of the Staffordshire Bull Terrier. He knew the traits of the SBT from the tip of its nose, to the last hair on its tail. Sadly he is no longer with us, but had he still been kicking his heels around the Plymouth PDSA practice, I know he would be mortified at the following..article-2357023-1AAEB8CE000005DC-428_634x412A facelift for Fido and Botox for Buster:

Cropping a dogs ears, as well as cropping tails for cosmetic reasons is barbaric, and a medieval practice that should be outlawed. In my mind any type of canine ‘cosmetic otoplasty’ conducted for the owners pleasure should qualify the owner to a stay in prison for animal cruelty, with the vet sat by them on the top bunk. There are obvious reasons for a dog to undergo surgery, mainly based on a life threatening condition. It beggars belief that a dog has to endure surgery to cut away excess skin left behind from a weight loss diet. The owners should be chastised for allowing the condition to happen in the first place. Vanity and ignorance by an owner appears to be cash in the bank for some unscrupulous vet’s.

Yours Aye.

Robert Pattinson, an Army Warrant Officer?

It’s gotta be hell being a celebrity. Take Robert Pattinson. He’s out shopping at his local  90210 grocery store and some mammarazi takes his picture with a Fort McCoy Warrant Officer Candidate School t-shirt on:

Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson in a Fort McCoy Warrant Officer Candidate School shirt

I can think of worse shirts to wear. First word rhymes with Bear, the last word with Horse.