Forbes College Rankings

Forbes Magazine is up to its usual tricks, ranking the colleges, trying to get a jump on US News and World Report. Cal is 22 while our arch-enemy Stanford is number 1, so that hurts. But not as much as this:

Claremont McKenna (Richard C. Vos) isn’t the only top college that lied. Bucknell University doctored SAT results from 2006 to 2012; Emory University provided numbers for admitted students rather than enrolled ones for more than a decade; and Iona College lied about acceptance and graduation rates, SAT scores and alumni giving for nine years starting in 2002. All have since fessed up and claim to have instituted better practices. As a penalty for their dishonesty–and an acknowledgment of the growing scope of the problem–we are removing the four institutions from our list of the country’s best schools for two years.

Cheating never pays. It is better to be an honorable Private than a dishonorable General.

Girl Hit by Arrow

When I was particularly stressed in college, I would ride my bike up to the Lawrence Hall of Science. (It is a scientific truth that you cannot be stressed on academics if your heart-rate is over 180.) The Hall of Science made the news for other reasons today:

An 8-year-old San Rafael girl visiting the Lawrence Hall of Science in the hills above UC Berkeley was shot in the leg by an arrow Tuesday, police said.

The girl, a third-grader at Mary E. Silveira Elementary School in San Rafael who was at the public science center on a class field trip, was sitting on a life-size model of a fin whale outside the building at 1 Centennial Drive when she was hit in her left thigh by an arrow about 10 a.m., UC Berkeley police Capt. Steve Roderick said.

The girl suffered non-life-threatening injuries and was taken to Children’s Hospital Oakland with the arrow still lodged in her leg, authorities said. Her name has not been released.

Expect the usual Berkeley calls for de-arming gun-owners archers.

Bezerkeley Football and the NFL Pro Bowl

Cal Football Golden BearsI can remember all of two readers writing in (commenting on a post) that they are Cal alum. Other than that, there has been little love for the Golden Bears.

So if you are in denial that Berkeley produces good football talent, let me point out that Cal grads Aaron Rodgers, Marshawn Lynch, and Tony Gonzalez are all playing for the NFC in this year’s NFL Pro Bowl. (There may be one more Cal guy, but he is not jumping out at me. I thought I saw his name when I ran through the list for the first time.) Essentially three of the top offensive stars for the NFC came from Bezerkeley.

That is all. . .

Dykes in at Cal

Generally, when the word dykes and Berkeley are used in the same sentence, a specific image is formed. Of organic females and calloused hands. That cliche is no longer accurate:

Sonny Dykes, Cal football coach

On Wednesday, Cal officially hired Louisiana Tech head coach Sonny Dykes, known for his high-octane spread offenses, to lead the football team.

As the 33rd coach in Cal program history, Dykes will take over for Jeff Tedford, who was fired Nov. 20 after a 3-9 campaign this season.

“I am excited for the opportunity to become head coach at the University of California,” Dykes said in a statement Wednesday evening. “ I’m looking forward to bringing our exciting and enthusiastic brand of football to Berkeley.”

In Dykes’ three years at the helm in Louisiana Tech, the Bulldogs went 22-15. In 2011, Dykes was named WAC Coach of the Year for leading his squad to its first league title in 10 years and a trip to the Poinsettia Bowl. Louisiana Tech was ranked as high as No. 19 in 2012 and finished the regular season with a 9-3 record.

Go Bears! And go, ummmmm, Dykes!

New Cal Chancellor, Nick Dirks

Please join me in congratulating Nicholas B. Dirks in his selection as the 10th chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley. I’ll bet you were nervously anticipating this announcement:

Nicholas Dirks

University of California President Mark G. Yudof announced today (Nov. 8) that he has selected Nicholas B. Dirks, Columbia University’s executive vice president and dean of the faculty for Arts and Sciences, as the 10th chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley.

Dirks, 61, the Franz Boas Professor of Anthropology and History at Columbia and the author of three books on India, emerged as the top candidate after a six-month search process. An advisory committee of UC faculty, students, staff, regents, alumni and foundation representatives was involved in screening applicants and conducting interviews.

Stay tuned for more exciting Cal news! (Such as the fact that the Bears NCAA basketball team is leading the Pacific TIgers 59-50 in the DirecTV Classic tournament in Anaheim.)

Missy Franklin, Baby Cal Bear

Missy Franklin, Cal Golden Bear

UC Berkeley students, alumni, and street-people: please put down your bullhorns, bullwhips and bullpucky- the university has an important announcement to make. Missy Franklin, she of big feet and Olympic gold medals, will soon be joining your ranks:

Missy Franklin, the high schooler who won the United States four Olympic gold medals in London over the summer.

Franklin announced on Saturday that she will attend California, a vaunted swimming program that also produced Natalie Coughlin, the woman who owned the 100m backstroke record that Franklin broke over the summer.

Oski, the Cal Bear mascot, is said to be overjoyed. He fully expects Missy to be catchin’ him salmon dinners. And by catchin’, I mean outswimming.

UC Berkeley Law Students and Their Foul Act

Damn! Daily Mail, if you are going to write a story on Eric Cuellar and Justin Teixeira, a pair of misbehaving UC Berkeley students, you could at least spell the school right. . .

Berkley law students arrested after ‘decapitating and tossing around exotic bird’s body at Vegas casino’

Eric Cuellar and Justin Teixeira, UC Berkeley Law students

At least the guinea fowl was helmeted. . .

Jamie Kuntz, Cal Football, and a Gay Football Player

Yahoo Trending News

Yahoo shows trending stories, news that Yahoo readers are searching for. The number one trending story currently is gay football player.

The $9.99-a-gallon gas did not seem interesting, nor did has-been Tara Reid. My fellow Cal alum Jason Kidd had a DWI, but that was old news. And the $9 cardboard bicycle looks like a piece of shiite. As for the Clooney Keibler break-up, I could care less.

So, out of good bloggerness, I click on the homosexual football player link. (The things I do to bring you a story! You’re going to like this, I promise.)

The gay player is named Jamie Kuntz. (Is that possible that is his real name?) And he lied about kissing his 65 year-old boyfriend, so his coach dismissed him from the North Dakota State College of Sciences football team:

North Dakota State College of Sciences in Wahpeton acknowledges Kuntz was disciplined by the team, but says it wasn’t because he is gay. Football coach Chuck Parsons told Kuntz in a letter that he was removed from the team for lying about the kiss.

Kuntz, 18, and on a partial football scholarship, left the college in southeast North Dakota this month after his dismissal from the team.

“Football didn’t work out, so there was no reason to stay,” said Kuntz, who lives with his mother across the state in Dickinson.

Kuntz said he and his 65-year-old boyfriend were in the press box at the game against Snow College in Pueblo, Colo., over Labor Day weekend. Kuntz was videotaping the game for the team. His Wildcats were down by more than 40 points when “the kiss just happened,” he said. The team would eventually lose 63-17.

Hey Kuntz, you need to knock off the public kissing and focus on catching, er, nevermind. Good luck in your career. I will pretend I did not just read the age of your (fill in any football position here.)

But wait sports fans, there is more. Yahoo displays pictures along with the trending stories. And look who they displayed with the story. Yes, a Cal football player. From our beloved UC Berkeley Bears:

Cal Football, Gay Football Player?

I am going to remember this Yahoo! When we beat Ohio State this weekend, you’re gonna be sorry you made fun of poor number 7! (Well, he does look stupid. . .But still!)

Justin Strine, Not Army Material

If you have not read the story of Justin Strine, I encourage you to do so now. I certainly made my mistakes before commissioning, but I never participated in a mob riot like the one at Penn State.

Although I once had to clean up after one, while a student, dressed in a suit and tie. It was Berkeley and the shop where I sold suits was looted, our windows broken. Some unhinged youths, or so I heard, rampaged down Bancroft Way. . .

Berkeley’s Bearcat

Good old peaceful UC Berkeley has gone and purchased a Bearcat.
What is a Bearcat? This thing below:

Homeland Security gives UC-Berkeley an armored counterattack truck, a Bearcat

Department of Homeland Security officials gave the University of California-Berkeley a $200,000 grant to purchase an “armored response counterattack truck” for its campus police department, to the dismay of Occupy protesters in the area.

“The eight-ton vehicle, commonly referred to as a “Bearcat,” is used by U.S. troops on the battlefield and is often equipped with a rotating roof hatch, powered turrets, gun ports, a battering ram, and a weapon system used to remotely engage a target with lethal force,” according to Campus Reform.

UC-Berkeley officials told Campus Reform they asked for the counterattack truck grant after a case last year in which they wrongly believed that a man was armed with an AK-47.

Local Occupy Wall Street protesters tried to persuade the school not to purchase the vehicle. “I’m asking, please stay out of this urban warfare stuff,” Daniel Borgstrom, an Occupier and former Marine, told the city council at a June meeting, according to Inter Press Service News Agency.

Ah yes, the local Occupy Wall Street protestor. I would go to him for advice. . .

Berkeley Police Chief Launches Investigation

Berkeley Police Chief Mike Meehan

Berkeley, California is one of the more chaotic cities I have lived in. The police must really have their hands full. With helping the police chief find his son’s cell phone:

How many people have called their local police station about a stolen cell phone or laptop, only to be told by the authorities that they have more pressing issues at hand?

Well, Berkeley Police Chief Michael Meehan has opened himself up to a new round of controversy after it was reported that he dispatched 10 officers to look for his son’s missing iPhone.

And they didn’t even find it.

Good job. Certainly there are better uses of tax payers’ money.

Cal Bear Bryan Anger Gets Drafted

Cal Bear, punter Bryan Anger, now of the Jacksonville Jaguars

Okay, work with me on this one. Our Cal Bears have a star in the big house. Bryan Anger, the punter extraordinaire got drafted at number 70.

And it is a joke to some:

Bryan Anger became the first punter in 17 years to be taken in the first 75 picks of the NFL draft when he was selected by the Jacksonville Jaguars on Friday night.

The Cal punter was taken at No. 70. It was the highest a punter has gone since 1995 when the Chicago Bears took Todd Sauerbrun with the 54th pick.

Jacksonville became an instant laughingstock for going with a punter in the third round.

Get ready Jacksonville for one angry punter. He’s got a lot to prove.

Cyclist Hit-and-Run in Berkeley

I have never seen or heard of this piece of gear, but when I worked as a bike messenger, I really could have used it. A YouTuber named brunogfmtube (first name Bruno) filmed his own hit-and-run with a camera mounted on his handlebars:

The hit-and-run occurred around 4:30 p.m. Wednesday on Tunnel Road in Berkeley, where the bicyclists were traveling east and were struck by a car traveling in the same direction, according to police.

One of the cyclists had a camera mounted on his handlebars. The video, posted on YouTube by brunogfmtube, shows a black car veer into both bicyclists at about the 2:40 mark.

According to CBS Station KPIX, Police Capt. Andrew Greenwood said the driver of the black vehicle did not stop afterward, as is required by law, so police treated it as a hit-and-run.

Bike accident screen-shot from brunogfmtube. Michael Medaglia to the left.

The riders, both of whom were wearing helmets, had abrasions from hitting the road but did not require hospitalization, according to Greenwood.

After the incident Wednesday, the suspect, Michael Medaglia, reported to the Oakland Police Department that his car had been stolen. A police alert was placed on the car.

What is crazy- I know that road in Berkeley. I’ve driven on it before, though in a car.

Navy SEALs and UC Berkeley

When I was deployed to the Middle East, I met an officer who had washed out of BUDs (SEAL training.) He had gotten injured and had to find another officer community.

Long story short: he and I were chatting and he asked me where I went to school. I told him Cal and he responded that he had too. I thought he was joking, but he assured me he had indeed gone to Berkeley. A SEAL wannabe at Bezerkeley. I love it.

Here is a woman who met her husband, a future SEAL, at Berkeley. In philosophy class: 

We met my freshman year of college at UC Berkeley. Through my Philosophy class, I was introduced to one of his teammates and quickly fell in “like” with the guy. Because I ate in the same dining commons as my Navy SEAL and his entire team, I came to know each and every one of the athletes. He was the first guy to walk over and introduce himself. We dated other people over the years, but became close friends and spent a good deal of time together, cultivating a unique platonic relationship.

Yes, Berkeley and the military, we are like two peas in the pod!