Earlier yesterday I had the wind taken out of my sails, as I was presented with an image of a like-minded doppleganger, or at least I think that’s what happened? I met up with a mate in a local café, for our usual (put the world to right) meeting over a pot of tea and savouries. Being a few minutes adrift, I arrived to find my good oppo knee deep in an assortment of sausage rolls, corned beef slices, and home made cake (the honour of choice and purchase falls to the first man across the threshold). Formalities over, I took my seat and assumed the role of ‘mother’ and poured out the luscious dark strong liquid.
“Me and the missus have come to a decision“! Say’s he, looking morose as he surveyed the calorific choice in front of him. My heart missed a beat as his words sunk in, they have been together for many years, happily married… Shrugging my shoulders and calling upon memories of combat triage, I immediately stepped up and came to his aid “Mate, your still fighting fit, got all of your own teeth, and a full head of hair; all you require is an up to date wardrobe of clothes. You’ll only be on the market for a short while, and then you can”…… He picked the largest of the corned dog slices and looked at me, a huge grin appeared from ear to ear “Not that sort of decision you clown. We have come to the decision that you are ‘Jay Pritchett’ from the TV show”! I obviously looked bemused (and relieved) as he giggled like a schoolgirl at my faux pas. “Who the bloody hell is Jay Pritchett“? I asked, composing myself, feeling a little out of step. He looked at me as though I had two heads. “You know, the guy in Modern Family, the American TV show, Ed O’Neill, he plays the part of Jay Pritchett” ~ “Who, who“? Say’s I, sounding like an owl as I twisted my head to one side, which provided more ammunition for merriment.
And so the gurning halfwit rattled on about ‘my’ TV character, and almost choked on a piece of corned dog as he explained the show, as well as the goings on of each character within it. As he continued his gurgling banter I googled Ed O’Neall and Jay Pritchett; the actor/character appeared. “Ahhh him” I said, pointing at my phone, “Is that Jay Pritchett“? ~ “Yes, him, his personality, word for word, the shrugs, the facial expressions, its you, to a T“! ~ “But I look nothing like him” I wailed…
He went on to explain that when he and his ‘missus’ watch the program, they both place me as the character ‘Jay Pritchett’. My lost-look-arched-eyebrow-expression had him giggling again, initially controlled, and then laughing so infectiously for so long, that he contaminated both tables either side of us. Part way through his teary eyed explanation he turned to the now giggling and bemused strangers, and pointed at me saying “Jay Pritchett-Modern Family“, with his voice trailing off to a high hysterical girly squeak, due to the air being squeezed from his lungs. All I could do was put on a stupid bewildered face, smile, nod politely to each table, and then stare at my boots, whilst pretending I knew what he was talking about (obviously the two occupied tables did)! When the lull came I looked at the strangers and calmly said “He’s just split up with his wife, it’s his way of dealing with it“, which set him off again, with the strangers following his lead?
It was the longest short meeting I have ever endured, my whispered promise of “cease now, or I will slap you daft” brought him back to earth… Having quaffed our fare, and placed certain parts of the world to right we departed our venue. ‘Helium head’ went on his way still grinning like a cheshire cat, leaving me feeling a trite bemused, he certainly had the edge on me, as I have never watched any episode of ‘Modern Family’. That is until late afternoon, when I eventually found one episode screening on SKY TV. I sat bewildered, trying to make the comparison. During the short ad break, I called a good friend and asked if she had ever watched ‘Modern Family’. “Absolutely love it, why?” ~ “Ahem! Do I remind you of ‘Jay Pritchett”? After a short silence she started laughing, “Oh my God, he is you, you are him”! I quickly explained what happened earlier, and she also headed off into rapturous laughter. (Points to note readers; for a start I am a lot younger, I weigh in at 189Ib, and I have a thick head of hair). Having thanked my friend (the laughing hyena) I consoled myself with a warm pot of tea and the second half of ‘Modern Family’. In truth it may well grow on me, as the slick humour appeals, though it is early days yet, and it could have been worse, i.e. Phil Dunphy worse!