A pot of tea & savouries

Modern FamilyEarlier yesterday I had the wind taken out of my sails, as I was presented with an image of a like-minded doppleganger, or at least I think that’s what happened? I met up with a mate in a local café, for our usual (put the world to right) meeting over a pot of tea and savouries. Being a few minutes adrift, I arrived to find my good oppo knee deep in an assortment of sausage rolls, corned beef slices, and home made cake (the honour of choice and purchase falls to the first man across the threshold). Formalities over, I took my seat and assumed the role of ‘mother’ and poured out the luscious dark strong liquid.

Me and the missus have come to a decision“! Say’s he, looking morose as he surveyed the calorific choice in front of him. My heart missed a beat as his words sunk in, they have been together for many years, happily married… Shrugging my shoulders and calling upon memories of combat triage, I immediately stepped up and came to his aid “Mate, your still fighting fit, got all of your own teeth, and a full head of hair; all you require is an up to date wardrobe of clothes. You’ll only be on the market for a short while, and then you can”…… He picked the largest of the corned dog slices and looked at me, a huge  grin appeared from ear to ear “Not that sort of decision you clown. We have come to the decision that you are ‘Jay Pritchett’ from the TV show”! I obviously looked bemused (and relieved) as he giggled like a schoolgirl at my faux pas. “Who the bloody hell is Jay Pritchett“?  I asked, composing myself, feeling a little out of step. He looked at me as though I had two heads. “You know, the guy in Modern Family, the American TV show, Ed O’Neill, he plays the part of Jay Pritchett” ~ “Who, who“? Say’s I, sounding like an owl as I twisted my head to one side, which provided more ammunition for merriment. Ed O'Neill is Jay Pritchett

And so the gurning halfwit rattled on about ‘my’ TV character, and almost choked on a piece of corned dog as he explained the show, as well as the goings on of each character within it. As he continued his gurgling banter I googled Ed O’Neall and Jay Pritchett; the actor/character appeared. Ahhh him” I said, pointing at my phone, “Is that Jay Pritchett“? ~ Yes, him, his personality, word for word, the shrugs, the facial expressions, its you, to a T“! ~ “But I look nothing like him” I wailed…

He went on to explain that when he and his ‘missus’ watch the program, they both place me as the character ‘Jay Pritchett’. My lost-look-arched-eyebrow-expression had him giggling again, initially controlled, and then laughing so infectiously for so long, that he contaminated both tables either side of us. Part way through his teary eyed explanation he turned to the now giggling and bemused strangers, and pointed at me saying “Jay Pritchett-Modern Family“, with his voice trailing off to a high hysterical girly squeak, due to the air being squeezed from his lungs. All I could do was put on a stupid bewildered face, smile, nod politely to each table, and then stare at my boots, whilst pretending I knew what he was talking about (obviously the two occupied tables did)! When the lull came I looked at the strangers and calmly said “He’s just split up with his wife, it’s his way of dealing with it“, which set him off again, with the strangers following his lead?

It was the longest short meeting I have ever endured, my whispered promise of “cease now, or I will slap you daft” brought him back to earth… Having quaffed our fare, and placed certain parts of the world to right we departed our venue. ‘Helium head’ went on his way still grinning like a cheshire cat, leaving me feeling a trite bemused, he certainly had the edge on me, as I have never watched any episode of ‘Modern Family’. That is until late afternoon, when I eventually found one episode screening on SKY TV. I sat bewildered, trying to make the comparison. During the short ad break, I called a good friend and asked if she had ever watched ‘Modern Family’. “Absolutely love it, why?” ~ “Ahem! Do I remind you of ‘Jay Pritchett”? After a short silence she started laughing, “Oh my God, he is you, you are him”! I quickly explained what happened earlier, and she also headed off into rapturous laughter.  (Points to note readers; for a start I am a lot younger, I weigh in at 189Ib, and I have a thick head of hair). Having thanked my friend (the laughing hyena) I consoled myself with a warm pot of tea and the second half of ‘Modern Family’. In truth it may well grow on me, as the slick humour appeals, though it is early days yet, and it could have been worse, i.e. Phil Dunphy worse! 

Yours Aye.

12 thoughts on “A pot of tea & savouries”

  1. One of my college roommates was the splitting image of a very skinny Al Bundy (Ed O’Neill’s character on “Married with Children.”) I told him once and he did not take it well! His defense: he told me something equally uncomplimentary, comparing my appearance with some actor whose name I conveniently forgot (truly.) May I suggest the same tactic for your local café mates?

    1. NavyOne, helium head knows his place, he just forgets where he left it now and again…

      Several years back there was a prominent figure within a long standing soap series that was my actual doppelganger, down to the moustache and mannerisms. And no I am not prepared to name him, as it made my life unbearable for a short while, even my Mother commented on it!

      Not only that, I had the same whilst I served within the RM’s. I once walked through the main gates of 40 Cdo RM, where upon the main gate sentry took a double take “how did you leave without me noticing” ~ I had to explain that I was there to pick up my car from the night before, and that I had not left to arrive again that morning.

      As we spoke he lifted the barrier for a military landrover to exit the barracks, in the passenger seat sat my my double! A couple of weeks later I bumped into him on a run ashore, we had a bit of craic between us; he also hailed from the North East. Even though he was based in 42 Cdo RM, some ten miles away on the edge of Dartmoor, we never crossed paths again. Suffice to say marines would often tell me that I had a double within the Corps…

      My Father was a handsome devil but I know he never strayed across the yard 😉 Besides, my Mother was an expert knife thrower…


      1. Haha, helium head better be careful if he knows what’s good for him. In an interesting turn, there is a guy with my exact name in my officer community! I don’t have a common name, not too common at least. We’ve become pretty good friends over it. He gets a lot of my email. Good thing he made LCDR last year!

  2. I’ve only seen Modern Family once, so I have no idea what is so funny. But my curiosity is up.

    1. Lou, I have now watched a few episodes that has allowed me to bed in properly.
      I find the quick wit and one liners interjected with slight sarcasm quite amusing, very much what we read throughout NavyOnes blog. Though the more serious posts hold no bearing to Modern Family.

      I am just placing characters to this blogs readers… Another post perhaps?


  3. I’ve never seen the show, but I do like Ed O’Neill. He is a funny man. Cheer up EBN, it’s better than, say, Barny Fife (Don Knotts) or Gabby Hayes of cowboy fame.

  4. And Marty Feldman (Young Frankenstein put him at the top of his game) was a very funny man….his passing was a sad time indeed…I, too, Ex Bootneck have never seen ‘Modern Family’ …but as Ed O’Neill is a fairly well-known actor, I can pretty much surmise what sort of role he plays…his ‘Married with Children’ persona is remembered with some amusement….I thought the show was totally tacky but still, I can well imagine what sort of character he plays…Hollywood remains itself and quick witty repartee was Mr. O’Neill’s strength….good day to you….

    Did you happen see the latest article from Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer, speaking of sore subjects? It’ll likely get your dander up….I’m always up for a scintillating conversation into the arcane…..k

    1. Kristen, Marty Feldman was a natural, and also a very sincere man in private who contributed to some worthy causes without seeking publicity.
      As for the Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer, I do wish them well, but; what works in the US is definitely lost in translation over here in the UK and Europe.

      Robert Spencer, Quote:
      In one of the most foolish and self-defeating decisions in recent memory, the British government has banned us from entering the country. *(This is pure arrogance, he has no idea why he was banned, nor which country has asked for him to be banned; it is quite obvious that this man is full of his own piss and self importance)*.

      Our message of free speech and equality of rights for all before the law is too hot for them. *(More nonsense) But just last week they let in a Saudi imam who has said: “Devotion to jihad for the sake of Allah, and the desire to shed blood, to smash skulls, and to sever limbs for the sake of Allah and in defense of His religion, is, undoubtedly, an honor for the believer.” *(A wealth of intelligence can be gathered by allowing or blocking such a visit)

      That’s fine with British authorities. Resisting that jihad is not. *(More arrogant nonsense for self promotion)*

      But we’re not taking this lying down. We’re not willing to give up once-Great Britain to the Left-fascists and Islamic supremacists who got us banned. We’re going to appeal this decision. We’re determined to stand for freedom with our English allies – and to do it in London. *(More self promotion, as well as an insult to the millions of English people who do care. In fact it has nothing to do with Left-Wing-Fascists or any Islamic Extremist organisation who enters or does not)*.

      It’s not going to be easy. The entire British government and media elite is determined to appease Islamic supremacists and discredit and silence the defenders of freedom. *(Absolute poppycock, and unbelievable nonsense, which now appears to have this man ranting and foaming at the mouth over his own rhetoric)* We will have to hire a top British legal team that can navigate through all the roadblocks and obstacles that the Home Office puts up. *(Just as many have tried before, unsuccessfully. The action will simply fatten the law firms account; though the publicity will create a higher pedestal for the individual concerned, great spending other peoples money to lift your own profile)*
      END QUOTE:

      Kristen, you may have missed my last comment, which I left for you and NavyOne, under the Post; US BLOGGERS BANNED FROM ENTERING THE UK? In which I said
      “NavyOne, Kristen; Theresa May, the Home Secretary has more than a touch of Margaret Thatcher about her, people outside of politics may well underestimate her resolve; but those within do not, hence the tittle tattle attacks upon her, and her office, which is water off a ducks back (thats a tip from the top)!

      Having read the drivel and misguided propaganda spread over the pages of ‘bare naked islam’ I will guarantee that those responsible for the blog would also see their Visa applications blocked.

      Having worked within the ‘system’ I fully understand the procedure surrounding it. What most people do not realise is that in the majority of cases, ‘heads up’ information on certain characters applying for a Visa, is actually passed forward from their own Government to the point of destination in the way of a ‘short form request to block’. The UK and European Governments respond in kind, when we wish certain characters blocking from International travel.

      The great majority of the time it is not the receiving country that has the issue, but the sender of origin!

      “When you go to a public toilet to pee, look down at your own shoes, and not those next to you, that way you know what you are doing, and where it is going’ END QUOTE:

      You may well find that there are several US bloggers that have been blocked from entry in the past, at the request from your own Government. It is a fact that there have been thousands of instances where US citizens have successfully applied for a Visa, only to be stopped on UK/European soil and turned around.
      Once again this is an intelligence gathering exercise, as the fury of an individual leads to some very interesting telephone calls, which has a domino effect, creating ripples long after the event. It also allows certain agencies to take advantage of the individuals time away from home to ‘enter’ & place strategic devices on PC’s and electronic media systems within the home or office.

      To defeat them, you have to be them, or lead others on to act as a diversion… Enough said.

      Yours Aye.

      1. I did actually see that comment, EB….Interesting, though and highly illuminating …I happened to notice a mention Robert Spencer made about Melanie Phillips who is one of my favorite British journalists among more than a few others (James Delingpole, another great guy)…I actually like quite a few of your conservative news media talents, as a side note…I happen to be aware of both Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer in an indirect fashion because of a friend who has dealt with them both over the past few years and has had a working relationship with them …it’s a matter of ego and money, I suspect…they get very offended and offensive when they are thwarted and particularly when others disagree with their opinions especially about Islam …so every time they are opposed in a somewhat similar fashion as they were recently treated by the UK government, they can make a big stink about it and feel as if they’ve been mistreated and victimized…doesn’t that sound familiar ??..both have been doing their ‘schtick’ for a number of years, and they have made quite a passel of money out of this dog and pony show (only in the sense, it’s a huge production) ..I’m not saying they aren’t serious about the dangers of Islam, their presentation, treatment and the campaign to defeat it, because they are serious and truthful in their aims and the direction they have chosen..however they have a tendency to attack when their aims are thwarted…and this was a huge disappointment for them….as you may have noted earlier, they would be better off keeping their powder dry and waiting for a more respected group to associate themselves rather than the BDL….You can’t tell them anything…and this is a perfect example of what you can’t tell them….my friend tried on one occasion recently and got rebuffed…they felt they’d been betrayed, as least Robert did…..even I can’t discuss this particular issue of the BDL with my friend because he didn’t believe me when I tried to tell him they were a dishonest group….I know what you’re saying though and even Melanie Phillips provided me with the same information you did….so that about covers it….this is such fun, isn’t it???…..k

    1. OakieR, I watched the pilot to the series earlier, only another ninety five episodes to go! I must admit I do enjoy the quick wit, and the characters within.


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