As a Navy Sailor, there are certain headlines that make my nerves tingle, my legs jumpy. This one is especially, umm, errr, ahhh, thought-provoking: Oldest Crabs Found.
And this, an actual snippet from the well-written article: a crab with a hairy chest, has been dubbed the “Hasselhoff crab” after former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff. It was “almost like a sight from another planet,” Alex Rogers, expedition leader and professor of zoology at Oxford University, told the BBC.

Interesting. The oldest crabs I’m familiar with came from my second ex-wife…
I knew an old Chief Yeoman sand crab that’d been on the beach longer than these guys.
CTT: Uh oh, tmi. . .
Struan: Haha!
And they have to be very small as well….you guys need to develop discriminating taste….k