A Paratrooper on a Horse

I am not responsible for any reaction to Ex Bootneck’s joke:

A Paratrooper narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience.

After mounting his horse unassisted, the horse immediately began moving.

As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Paratrooper, who has not been named, began to slip sideways from the saddle.

Although attempting to grab for the horse’s mane the Paratrooper could not get a firm grip.

He then threw his arms around the horse’s neck but continued to slide down the side of the horse.

The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, losing his grip, the rider attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety…

However, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, leaving him at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground.

Moments away from unconsciousness and possible death; to his great fortune a Royal Marine (shopping at the same supermarket) saw him and his predicament and quickly unplugged the ’20-pence-a-ride- horse’ !!!

Whoah Nelly!

Phantom Soviet Captain Demi

Inspired by the true story of a suspicious 1968 sinking of a Russian sub, Phantom stars Ed Harris as Soviet captain Demi “Don’t Call me Moore.” Who has epilepsy: 

Submarine thrillers such as “Run Silent, Run Deep,” ”The Hunt for Red October,” ”Crimson Tide” and the classic “Das Boot” have long been a cinematic staple. “Phantom,” the latest entry in this venerable genre, doesn’t exactly rise to the level of its predecessors. Inspired by the true story of the mysterious 1968 sinking of a Russian sub, it’s even more claustrophobic than its setting would suggest.

Phantom starring Ed Harris, about a Russian Submarine

Phantom starring Ed Harris, about a junky Russian Submarine

The tense Cold War-era storyline concerns a final voyage undertaken by veteran Soviet captain Demi (Ed Harris), still physically and emotionally scarred by a previous mission that went awry. Although he’s previously commanded nuclear subs, he’s now put in charge of a dilapidated vessel that’s about to be sold to the Chinese navy.

In addition to Demi’s regular crew, who include his loyal right-hand man Alex (William Fichtner), several “technicians,” led by the mysterious Bruni (David Duchovny), are also aboard.

 Sub guys are among our best trained. Whenever I see Dolphins, I respect ’em.

About What They’re Doing in South Korea

Nobody’s busting into YOUR apartment at three in the morning, are they? Well, then don’t worry about what they’re doing in South Korea and places like that. It’s like the standard of living. Are you content to achieve your higher standard of living at the expense of people all over the world who’ve got a lower standard of living? Most Americans would say yes. Now we ask the question, are you content to enjoy your political freedom at the expense of people who are less free? I think they would also say yes.
–William S. Burroughs (With William Burroughs: A Report From The Bunker)

Fitty Cent Rages On

The shooting match about whether Fifty Cent was wrong to wear a Marine Corps dress uniform continues at my prior post. Folks drop by and try to wave the First Amendment. Or use false arguments, like I am condemning all artist (actors, musicians, etc) who wear the uniform. The issue is not the art. It is respect. Sure, wear dress blues if you are an actor. But wear it properly. The way Fifty Cent wears it is highly disrespectful.

You Still Got a Thing for Nancy Pelosi?

Nancy PelosiOur Navy, while in the hundreds of thousands of Sailors, is really quite small. Part of my job is talking to ships, sort of a cross between customer service help-desk and Sherlock Holmesian interrogation. I am wary, trying to determine by conversing with the Division Officer if they actually need assistance or whether they are not using the equipment properly.

I called up a ship yesterday and was chatting away with the DivO. His name sounded almost familiar, but not quite. So, I grilled him carefully, politely. He was the same way with me.

And in talking to him, I asked him his prior job. He replied with the exact billet where I was last! We both were fliers out of the Middle East.

Hmmm, was this possible? Wait, I trained him! Except his email has a different first name. That’s right, he uses his middle name.

We laughed and chatted about our current jobs. And then I asked the question: you still got a thing for Nancy Pelosi?

He cracked up. I was the OIC of the flying detachment and I told the very trusting (country boy) Detachment Chief that the new Ensign had a little thing for Nancy Pelosi. And the Chief believed me. Mostly because the new Ensign was a prior Chief. And our Det Chief looked at anyone who would turn his back on the Goat Locker as crazy.

Nancy PelosiOne other thing, the new Ensign did not deny it immediately. He played along, like it was a big joke. (Which it was to me, but not the Det Chief!) He would laugh and act like he maybe had a little twinkle for the Speaker of the House.

Weeks went by and I would hear Chief ask the Ensign: You sure you don’t got a lil’ thang for Nancy Pelosi?

Moral of the story: Deny deny deny. . .

Richard Turere and Scotch Tape

Innovative inventions help solve everyday problems and make life easier. It is hard to imagine a time before such everyday items such as scotch tape, post-it notes, or staplers.

Kenyan Richard Turere uses LED lights to keep lions at bay

Kenyan Richard Turere uses LED lights to keep lions at bay

But those are simple office inventions. What 13 year-old Richard Turere did to keep lions from eating his cows is on another level. . .

Written Egg Foo Young

Imagine this some delicious egg foo young. Now go and mack it:

Council Submissions

Honorable Mentions

Non-Council Submissions

青岛, China’s First Aircraft Carrier

The top comments talking about China’s first aircraft carrier, the Liaoning, are hilarious. From the Yahoo article about the carrier anchored in the northern port in Qingdao:

-On Wed. nights the galley features all you can eat American food………

-“The Chinese purchased this ship, in response to a really bad Kung Foo movie, that was posted on U-tube (that the President disproves of) and we will throw the movie maker in jail, on trumped up charges” (USA State Dept official statement)

-I heard they bought it off of craigslist.

-And the President is discussing his options, with his main security expert ( Oprah) this very minute……

-“Permanent base” don’t you mean “dealership” ?
(radio ad spot) “Those pesky Americans and Israelis got you down, Abdul ? Got a few trillion barrels of oil burning a hole in your pocket? Common down to Honest Wang’s Happy day Aircraft carrier, and ballistic missile emporium, where “terrorist” are treated like family, and democracy is a “dirty word” ……call to arrange YOUR test drive, today!”

-Batteries not included.

-I hear that you can rent it for parties, weddings, or third world wars!

-it has a sweet ramp for making jumps

-Qingdao (青岛)is also a pretty good beer. It is written on the label as Tsing tao. Well worth a try.

-Don’t they know its bad luck to rename a ship.

How ironic, even they did not want anything “Made In China”.

-Qingdao?… Good beer…

China's first aircraft carrier, the Liaoning, is anchored in the northern port in Qingdao.

China’s first aircraft carrier, the Liaoning, is anchored in the northern port in Qingdao.

Qingdao (青岛) is both the carrier’s name and beer name? Kind of like the USS Coors?

Trotter, French Bulldog Hipster

Someone at my Navy command asked what a hipster is. And rather than describing their irony, I will allow Trotter the French Bulldog to portray his hipsterism:

Trotter, French Bulldog, hipster

Trotter, French Bulldog, hipster, Sonya Yu’s pal

Owner and Trotter’s photographer Sonya Yu said her little pup is simply a natural in front of the camera. “I think she has an inkling that she’s famous. People get very excited to meet her in person. It’s like they’re meeting a celebrity.”

U.S. Army Intelligence Officer, Private Bradley Manning

Is it too much to ask that ol’ Reuters get the facts correct about Private First Class Bradley Manning? Read this sentence and tell me what is wrong: The U.S. Army intelligence officer accused of slipping military and diplomatic secrets to WikiLeaks is expected to take the witness stand on Thursday, when he will read aloud from a 35-page statement defending himself in the espionage case.

A Window to the World