I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been

As a blogger, I get interesting email. Every month, I receive a couple of invitations from semi-illegitimate groups seeking to enroll me (Who’s who in the internet world, for example.) Advertisers also offer small amounts of money to place ads. I’ve resisted these in the past, mostly because I don’t blog for the money – it is a hobby. And I feel more independent if the fruit of my labor comes from non-monetary enjoyment, writing and then the interaction with you all. I am not adverse to advertisements, I just don’t see a point of it currently. (I reserve the right to immediately reverse course and make four to six figures a year on blogging loot!)

I also get random emails from folks who have misidentified me. Often, they think I am the person in the story I am writing about. I will not reveal this person’s name, but I’ve gotten several of these kind of comments or emails, this one sent in response to the lesbian Sailors here or the gay Marines here:

I found your blog titled “The Mellow Jihadi” and hoped to connect with you if possible. I’m sure you have received MORE than your share of attention and press after you and your partner shared the much touted and Celebrated (Celebrated in our circles!) Kiss last year. My wife to be is also in the Navy and we were overjoyed at the repeal of DADT and that this was just one small step towards inclusion and openness. Anyhoo….. I would like to invite you and your partner to our group AMPA (American Military Partner Association) where you will both find support as well as an opportunity to meet many others in the same boat.

If you are curious as to what we are about, please check out our public Facebook page (we have a Private FB group as well that most of us use to talk to each other) In addition our website If you would like to join, please message ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣ ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣ personally and he will gladly add you. They have literally been a lifeline during my partners year long stint overseas in S. Korea last year (She’s also a linguist) and especially before DADT was repealed and we were supposed to be non-existent. If you want your privacy, I absolutely respect that. Just thought I would throw it out there if you were interested.

Most sincerely, ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

So, I am not gay*. In neither of those posts do I claim to be the person pictured. Someone needs to work on reading comprehension. . .

I almost mentioned that I could be gay in the 16th century sense, as in pleasantly happy. But I would hate to confuse anyone. So I will keep this joyous thought to myself. (Whoops, almost to myself!)

Update: I received this email in response to my post:

so, instead of answering me politely and directly, you quote me in your blog as an example to be held up for mocking? Maybe that makes you feel better, but you just included information about myself and my partner that I wrote to you in confidence, believing you to be someone else. I don’t appreciate it being used as “fodder” for your fan base or topic for your next epiphany.

Look Shipmate, you sent me a knuckle-headed email. And I ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣ out your name. I am a gentlemen and if you had approached me more humbly (saying perhaps: whoops, my bad!) I would have gladly scuttled this post.

But I do like epiphanies. And fodder. You should see the amount of hits they generate. Back when the Occupy Wall Street movement was going full-speed, I used to get thousands of visits a month from spun-up 99%ers. So please do share this. . .

14 thoughts on “I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been”

  1. As someone who has been used as fodder by NavyOne on many an occasion, I say get tough already. If the Hari Krishnas had asked him to join up he’d post about that too.

  2. Some of my best writing was done when I first started blogging back in 2005, but no one read those posts. Then when I started getting readers, I started catching a lot of flak – usually for poking fun at someone. Although I can be serious, for the most part I’m a pretty silly person. I laugh at all sorts of things and people, and I wrote about it. Now I have to think before I type, because people have become upset with me. I wanted to shout, “But it’s my blog!” or “Don’t read it, if you don’t like it!” Instead, I let others dictate what I write, and now I don’t write much of anything interesting. The good news is that I have very few readers now. I may start poking people again.

  3. ASM: Fodder = visitors. I have received many emails, but none quite like that. I had to go back and read those posts to make sure I was not misleading anyone. And nope, I hardly came across as being that which I wrote about.
    Lou: Please poke at me all you want! I like it. (Hmm, I may have issues, but once again, poking = visitors.)

  4. Misunderstandings always have a silver lining…

    Some while back I visited one of the largest indoor shopping centres in the North East, and as is my want; I parked on the lower level multi story car park closest to the coffee shop where my meeting was to take place.

    As I strolled towards the entrance doors a car sharply pulled along past me; in one shot the driver swerved straight in to an empty bay and parked perfectly parallel to the lines. He jumped out quickly and dashed towards the entrance.

    Just at that point my mobile phone rang, I answered it as I walked along but the signal kept dropping, so I remained motionless with my back to the perfectly parked car. As I continued with my conversation I noticed a guy in his mid 30’s walking toward me; he was shouting and ranting and raving about ‘me’ and ‘my’ attitude? I actually turned around quickly thinking he was talking to some one else stood behind me!

    It was obvious by his gestures that ‘claret’ was about to be spilled, so I ended my conversation politely and put my phone away. I advised him to calm down and discuss his problem, at that he kicked the rear brake light on the perfectly parked car, (which didn’t break-annoying him even more)… He was becoming more aggressive and I knew it was coming one way or another, (as I was wearing a very expensive sports jacket, I knew that the ‘claret’ would be his, not mine).

    I tried again to talk him down and this time he reached out to push or punch me, which was a gift; suffice to say I locked his wrist against his arm and placed him to the floor ‘using the required amount of force necessary to restrain the man’ (your honour), just as two coppers arrived who then took over the situation.

    One copper cuffed him as the other explained the situation to me (all captured on CCTV within the Mall security room). The prefect parker had cut up claret man at the junction entrance, road rage swiftly ensued… but claret man was then blocked by a red light, allowing perfect parker to carry on and park.
    Claret man chased and saw me next to the offending vehicle… It was obvious that the clown thought I owned the car as I was stood next to it taking my call?

    A total misunderstanding that ruined ‘claret mans’ day. He was arrested and charged with criminal damage, attempting actual bodily harm and breach of the peace.

    I went on to enjoy a splendid round of coffee with home baked carrot cake, and a very good meeting to boot.

    Yours Aye.

  5. OkieRover: Alright, sista! Let’s go shoe shopping. . .
    EB: Wow, that could have ended really badly. For him. (It did end poorly, but it could have been worse.) And I’m glad to hear that you had some delicious carrot cake to celebrate. . .

      1. That’s why I always got punk’d, Navy One…I take myself very seriously and as a result everyone else…no, most of your regulars are very serious sorts…don’t worry when there is a joke we’ll more often than not let you know…k

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