I Am Joining the Amish Mafia

Despite being in the Navy and deploying overseas sometime in the forceable future, I have decided to join the Amish Mafia. Imagine Bosun Mates and you’d get a feel for how the Amish Mafia behaves. These guys are tough, but a righteous tough:

John, Alvin, Lebanon Levi, and Jolin from Amish Mafia
John, Alvin, Lebanon Levi, and Jolin from Amish Mafia

Because the Amish Mafia doesn’t have direct dealing with the church, they do not have to operate within its jurisdiction.

They use cell phones, drive Cadillac SUVs, and tote guns to carry out what they believe is the law.

Jolin, a Mennonite, is described as ‘military foot soldier’ in the pilot episode, set to air December 12. Many Amish sects are wary of ‘English’ laws, and will not report crimes to recognized authority figures.

That leaves it to Levi and his cronies to seek justice for the meek and the mild.

The Mennonite division is slightly less strict than many Amish sects, which the show says allows him to do Levi’s ‘dirty work.’

Jolin fighting
Tattoo’d Jolin fighting

In addition, Levi and his three mafia members – John, Jolin, and Alvin – cannot be punished by church elders. Their philosophy is an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

In the case of a woman whose buggy was destroyed by a reckless driver, Jolin took the matter into his own hands. He tracked the man who hit the Amish woman’s buggy and fired a single shot through the empty car’s window.

The owner was unharmed, but the message was clear.

Another time, Levi sent John and Jolin to stake out the house of a married Amish woman who was believed to have had an affair.

The man was trying to extort the married woman to have sex with him, because her own husband had left her, causing financial struggle.

Jolin wields a mean gun; in the next episode, he fights MMA-style. I wouldn’t cross ’em.

6 thoughts on “I Am Joining the Amish Mafia”

  1. You guys need to stop acting tough!!! You’re not and ill call you out any day of the week!!! Think before you keep doing what you’re doing cause a real familia doesn’t make a show about it!!!

      1. Whoops NavyOne…

        It would appear that a ‘reader’ has no access to a reality button?

        A capire il mio amico, non sarà piacevole…

        Youa maka hima maaaad; youa sweem weether feeshes OK!

        Yours Aye.
        (whose favourite Italian dish is pasta napoletana)

  2. EB: I thought I was pretty transparent! I also said: I was going to join the Mafia, not that I was a part of it. Andiamo, amico!
    Flugelman: Oooops, how did that slip out?

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