Gan Lulu and Lei Bingxia’s Wonton Cooking Show

Gan Lulu, Lei Bingxia, Bang Bang Bang

I like to keep an eye out for unique cooking tips. Not saying that I would use them, mind you, but any tricks of the trade interest me.

And when I saw Breitbart (of all sites) was advertising a cooking show on wontons staring Gan Lulu, an auto show model, and her mother, Lei Bingxia, I was curious. The show, Bang Bang Bang, part of Jiangsu Education Television’s regular programming, was recently banned by the Chinese government.

And not because of its wonton content, but due to its wanton content.

A Tale of Two Sergeants: One SAS, One Marine

It is a previously undocumented fact that Thursday is a day highly prized by Sergeants worldwide. Exhibit A is Sergeant Danny Nightingale of the Special Air Service. Who almost ended up in the clink:

An elite British sniper jailed for illegally possessing a gun and ammunition won an appeal Thursday to suspend his sentence, after pleading that he forgot about having the gun as a result of a brain injury.

Sgt. Danny Nightingale, centre, his wife Sally Nightingale and father Humphrey Nightingale.

Sgt. Danny Nightingale of the Special Air Service admitted illegal possession of the 9mm Glock pistol and more than 300 rounds of ammunition at a court martial earlier this month. He was sentenced to 18 months military detention on Nov. 7.

Lawyers for the 37-year-old, who has served in Afghanistan and Bosnia, had said that he was given the gun as a present by soldiers he helped train in Iraq and that he had forgotten about it because of a brain injury.

And Exhibit B is Marine Corps Sgt. Ryan Donnelly from beautiful, resonant Lake Ronkonkoma, New York:

Tina McGory, Sgt. Ryan Donnelly

It was truly a home sweet home on Thursday for an American hero thanks to a team effort on Long Island.

For Marine Corps Sgt. Ryan Donnelly and his fiance, Army veteran Tina McGory, the day meant independence and the American dream.

Through a VA Mortgage, the couple was able to buy a new, specially designed three-bedroom home in Lake Ronkonkoma valued at $400,000 for only $175,000, CBS 2′s Dana Tyler reported.

The house is equipped with custom-heated floors and wider doorways to meet the special needs of Donnelly, who lost his right leg above the knee to a roadside bomb in Iraq in 2005.

It was made possible thanks to the charitable arm of the Long Island Home Builders Institute and the Town of Brookhaven, which donated the land.

Don’t forget, find a Sergeant next Thursday. And keep him out of jail or buy him a house!

Chinese Women, Carrier Style

Um, look closely at the Chinese girls, below, at a bar. Do you see what they are doing?

Chinese Women Carrier Style (航母style)

Yes, the bar girls are inspired by the take-off and landings of J-15s on China’s new Liaoning aircraft carrier. Here is the USS Stennis’ LSO launching a plane:

You got to get lower, ladies, like the LCDR. For more Chinese news, please read about tough, good guy Shen Jianzhong. . .

The Piggish Chef of Pigalle

I’m no chef. I don’t run a restaurant. But if I did, I would not do what Marc Orfaly, the chef of Pigalle, did to Sandy Tremblay. When I worked as a waiter, one of my managers took me aside and told me that not all customers are right. I always treated customers as if they were right. But dealing with a drunk one night reminded me of what my boss had said. And Marc Orfaly should have turned the other cheek. Now he looks like he just stuck his head in a pumpkin pie and got it all over his face.

Officer Lawrence DePrimo, Christmas Elf

Uh oh, we are coming up on Christmas time again. And capturing the new holiday spirit is Officer Lawrence DePrimo, on patrol in Times Square, helping a homeless man with a pair of boots he bought for him:

Officer Lawrence DePrimo bought new boots for a homeless man he encountered in Times Square.

For some reason, this story makes me think of Where are you Christmas, by Faith Hill.

Get Yer Goat?

Whoever stole Bill the Goat, the Navy’s official mascot, and left the poor guy near the Pentagon on Army Navy Drive in Arlington, Virginia, you will get your comeuppance. Remember Army, the Navy has owned you for ten years. And pranks like this only inflame the competitive juices. Or as it is known in France, jus de la compte. (Or is that what I use at Jamba Juice? My language fu feels weak today.)

The Curse of the Chorizo Burrito

Spanish chorizo

We probably should just go ahead and talk ’bout chorizo. Yesterday, I pulled a major-league eff-up and bought all the guys in my cubicle chorizo breakfast burritos down at the local MXN drive-through. (MXN is Mexican food joint.) For all y’all not in the know about the sausage, the geniuses down in Waka-waka-land have this definition:

Chorizo (Spanish), Asturian: chorizu; Basque: txorizo; Galician: chourizo; Portuguese: chouriço; Catalan: xoriço) is a term encompassing several types of pork sausages originating from the Iberian Peninsula.

Chorizo can be a fresh sausage, in which case it must be cooked before eating. In Europe, it is more frequently a fermented, cured, smoked sausage, in which case it is usually sliced and eaten without cooking.

Spanish chorizo and Portuguese chouriço get their distinctive smokiness and deep red color from dried smoked red peppers pimentón/pimentão or colorau). Due to culinary tradition, and the expense of imported Spanish smoked paprika, Mexican chorizo (but not throughout Latin America) is usually made with chili peppers, which are used abundantly in Mexican cuisine. In Latin America, vinegar also tends to be used instead of the white wine usually used in Spain. Traditionally, chorizo is encased in natural casings made from intestines, a method used since the Roman times.

Chorizo can be eaten as is (sliced or in a sandwich), grilled, fried, or simmered in apple cider or other strong alcoholic beverage such as aguardiente. It also can be used as a partial replacement for ground (minced) beef or pork.

Spanish-style tapas bars that serve traditional-style chorizo have gained in popularity in recent years, and now appear in many large cities throughout North America.

The problem with the sack of chorizo burritos that I bought? Four of the five guys in my cubicle got sick. Have you ever been at a baseball game and the crowd starts the wave? And it comes to you and you lurch to your feet? That is what occurred with my stomach. It lurched to its feet. And my stomach does not have feet! Most of us skipped lunch after the ol’ chorizos. Not to mention the meat sweats. If you are in San Diego, avoid the MXN chorizo burritos!

Risky Cuts

Mohamed Morsy Listens to Morrisey

Mohamed Morsy?

A challenge to folks attempting to write Arabic names in English is the use of the right vowel. Take Mohamed Morsi. His last name is spelled Morsi in Time Magazine, while one of my close personal friends* spells it Mohamed Morsy on her blog.

Her spelling always brings to mind the angst-riden singer Morissey. Whose music I never quite “got.” Too dramatic and emotional and clingy. Nothing against the man, if that is what he really is.

* I don’t actually know Christiane Amanpour. We are not close personal friends. We are not even close, nor friends. Nor personal. Actually, I find her reporting brusque and clumsy, but that is a post for another day. Wow, poor Mo Morsi. He is the only one who comes out of this post smelling like roses. Not that he has ever smelled like roses. There I go again. Insulting celebrities. Carry on snarkly.