The military has a way of teaching folks how to speak publicly. Repetitive briefing will improve your skills. Thanks to a boss who was unrelentingly critical, I learned the below lessons the hard way:
The three best pieces of advice ever doled out in the Esquire offices:
1. The subject can be boring, but the story cannot be boring.
2. You’re in charge of the story.
3. People won’t miss what isn’t there.
I also always make sure I know what I am briefing. If I don’t understand something, I don’t talk about it. Not publicly at least. There is nothing worse than someone fumbling around not knowing his/her subject. As for being shy:
“When we have people give talks in shyness groups, they often do much better than they thought they did. There’s a tendency to underrate your performance when you’re feeling shy,” says Dr. Lynne Henderson, director of the Shyness Institute, a nonprofit in Berkeley, Calif., that’s dedicated to researching and developing manuals on social anxiety.
The Shyness Institute? In Berkeley? Never heard of it.
I respect shyness, at least in measured doses. Not in an overwhelming way, but a little shyness shows humility or decency. I am wary of those who are always extroverted. How are they when they are not “on?” Likewise, I am wary of those who are always introverted. Introspection is fine, but you have to talk sometime. Sharing yourself shows you are not selfish and completely self-absorbed.
It is all a question of balance. My rule of thumb: be extroverted when around people and know when to get away. There is nothing worse than feeling introverted when in a group. Or feeling extroverted when not in a crowd. People who experience the latter symptom often turn to devious means to satisfy their primordial urges. Like blogging. . .
This is a conversation about me, myself & I…do you know me? Introverted…that’s it…I used to do briefings in Panama. I hated it…just not a public speaker…but on the internet, do I change…thanks, Navy One, I lost control for a moment….k
I must confess, I can be quite loud. And I like briefing. But I also like quiet too. Please continue to lose control, Kris. It becomes you. . .
I enjoy public speaking…when I know what I’m talking about. Don’t ask me to get up and explain something that I’m not sure of. When a boss (boss spelled backward is double sob) does that, he is passing his incompetence on to me so I will take the heat. So I just tell the group that I am not prepared enough to give them the info they need, but I will have it by the next meeting. Then I turn it back over to the boss. Now you know why I stayed on many a shit list.
4. Make sure your fly is zipped.
I was so worried about showing too much cleavage today in church that I forgot to zip my pants. Fortunately, no one else noticed – thank God for the cleavage problem.
Lou, sometimes when I am speaking publicly, I break into my mom voice – I don’t know why. (At least that’s what I think. NavyOne thinks all my voices sound like the same person.)
Sometimes when I do any sort of public speaking, I lapse into my “teacher voice” and my daughter rolls her eyes. Old habits are hard to break.
CP: I’ll bet you are on a couple of lists. . .
NavyDavy: Good point.
Lou1: I can’t say I’ve ever had had that worry!
Lou2: I have the same voice, except it is my “Navy voice.”
You know NavyOne, I am a little like Kris. I am rather introverted, UNLESS I know someone – OR if I am on the internet! This was pretty interesting – I am wondering about that institute…
Sometimes the introvert factor is due to other factors.
I tend to avoid random conversations (in groups or not) due to the hearing affliction. If I can’t pick up the gist of the conversation from basic lipreading/words caught that I recognise, then I’d rather appear dumb than open my mouth and prove it.
Of course amongst people that I know and trust won’t have any issues filling in the conversations gaps for me (or hold the delightful misconception that I’m just amazingly dotty) – no worries! I go off like a gallah at sunrise!
Pax
Lil Chantilly: Do NOT enroll in that institute for any reason.
Pax: Interesting, I never considered that reason. Please do not go off like a gallah at sunrise!
Pingback: Watcher of Weasels » Watcher’s Council Nominations: Campaign Trail Blues Edition
Pingback: Watcher’s Council Nominations: Campaign Trail Blues Edition | askmarion
Pingback: This Week’s Watcher’s Council Nominations | therightplanet.com
Great advice! I just forwarded it on to my wife.
Mike Haltman
The Political Commentator
Thanks Mike!
Pingback: GayPatriot » Watcher of Weasels Nominations — Seven-Eleven(-Twelve) Edition
Pingback: Trevor Loudon's New Zeal Blog
Shyness in Berkeley is when you hesitate before throwing a heavy object at your opponent.
Pingback: Watcher of Weasels Nominations: Campaign Trail Blues Edition | Maggie's Notebook
Guilty as charged! Great article.
Pingback: Required Reading |