Aircraft Carriers are built to ferry four acres of United States “soil” around the world. To wherever we may need it. To support and defend allies, to protect American interests, or to attack enemies.
They are not, however, built for tall people. Case in point, the scab I just discovered on the top of my head. I schwacked my melon three times daily the first week I was underway. Slowly, I got more aware and lowered my stats to two and then one hit a day.
I can proudly say that I went whole days towards the end of my cruise without murdering my noggin. My top five skull clangers:
1. Forgetting there is cross-bar as you step into a bathroom stall. I literally felt my teeth rattle in mouth and saw stars with that one. All the bathroom stalls (since they are attached to each other) shook. I apologize in advance to all the guys who have to tighten the bolts. I definitely loosened a couple of them.
2. Turning around in a passageway and missing the low-hanging light. Yes, it was painted bright yellow. No, I was not looking at it. No, it was not as painful as it looked. Yes, the six enlisted folks were amused when I rocked it. Yes, they asked in chorus if I was alright. Yes, one of them gave me the classic: Ohhhhhhhhhhh. No, I did not hang around. Me and my bruised pride wandered off. Quickly.
3. Stepping through a watertight opening and mis-estimating its height by one centimeter. Sure, we use inches in America, but that one centimeter really left a mark. I wonder if that is where my scab came from?
4. Focusing too much on turning the doorknob and not enough on stooping. As I entered the wardroom for lunch. That door made me religious. As in: I prayed no one saw my clumsiness. Dear God, let me never do that again.
5. Forgetting that I had about 20 inches of rack space when I lived in the overflow Chief’s birthing. Who puts an Officer in there anyway? Waking up and clunking your head, priceless. And very effective at getting me awake.
That’s all. No more head knocking stories. I’ve got my reputation to consider here. . .