Slicing Bananas, Marine Corps Style

Here is the post where I piss off the Marine Corps. But I promise this story is entirely true, to the best of my ability. Back in language school, when I was junior enlisted, I was Leading Seaman. It was a glorious job that mostly entailed being loud, setting a good example, and pt’ing the guys. All of which I did.

We ran out of room in the Navy barracks, so I ended up in the Marine barracks. 65 Sailors and myself for a year. It was great, I reported in to our leadership when there was a problem, which was rare, if ever. I got the older guys together and convinced them that we could handle all problems in-house. No one was to go directly to the quarterdeck with an issue without at least giving us the opportunity to solve it first.

It worked well. We had all sorts of challenges, from guys who would not clean their room, to those who were failing their language. We had harassment (mild at best) and the usual beefs you might expect to find. But we had brotherhood. I heard for years after, that the Marine barracks was the high point for a lot of guys at DLI.

I encouraged everyone to keep their doors open. And we all went on beach runs once a week in addition to our usual pt. Of course, some guys conveniently disappeared when the beach run popped. . .

Living in the Marine barracks, we got to know a lot of the Marines and we even had some of them join in on our beach runs. One of them sat at our table one day for breakfast before class. And as he struggled to tear open a banana, he said (no joke): Monkeys always make it look so easy!

We did not say anything at first. We knew we had been given a great gift that day. That a seemingly innocuous comment by a Marine private would be repeated for months.

Further good news from banana land. There is a banana slicer out on the market, from a company called Hutzler:

Hutzler Banana Slicer

My immediate reaction of flying into a tirade against useless kitchen gadgets is probably going to end with me having a heart attack in Williams-Sonoma one day.

But ridiculous crap like this Hutzler banana peeler needs to be called out.

When ripe and edible, bananas are one of the easiest foods to cut.

I wonder whether we should send the Hutzler Deluxe Banana Slicer to Marine bases?

9 thoughts on “Slicing Bananas, Marine Corps Style

    • I’ll be darned! Works like a charm. Like Momcat, my prior method was a knife (or teeth) applied to the stalk end. Now I know.

  1. How embarrassing! If a banana skin is a bit tough and I dont want to risk damaging the fruit before I eat it, I just use a knife and slice a bit off the stalk side.

  2. I know the problem with the Marine. He was at the Navy table. He left the ‘How To Peel A Banana’ picture instructions on the Marnie table. He didn’t plan ahead.

  3. What! A discussion about slicing bananas and Marines with no reference to, or comment from, America’s First Shirt? Something is amiss. Or afoot.

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