Bagels and Noses and Bears, Oh My!

Here is a post that should absolutely cause you to shake your head and wonder why the heck I am blogging it. In fact, if you don’t shake your head and wonder why, I am going to shake my head and wonder why you are not shaking your head and wondering why.

Ready, go: I often see odd pictures pop in Yahoo. Like these on Milan Fashion:

And then later I think: Hmm, that would have made a wacky post. Although you will notice that the link does not go to Yahoo. I did not bookmark it, which led me to ponder: where is that crazy link with the pasty models who have bread (or even bagels) on their head? Like a bunch of loafers? So I googled it and got sent to, gulp, FABSUGAR?

Eeek, I had better get this post back on track. What could magically restore my credibility? Sports? Yeah. Baseball? YEAH! Okay, heading over to Yahoo. The top baseball story is about a pitcher. Perfect. (Pitcher perfect, a take-off of picture perfect. First uttered in late 1949. . . whoops, gotta stay focused. I’m trying to get my mojo back.)

Okay, so the baseball story is about the New York Mets. Who play in Flushing, Queens. The town with some of the best toilets in America. (Sorry, this train/post is running away from me.) Okay. Mets. Pitcher. Some guy named Jonathan Nice. Arggh, not nice. Make that, Jonathon Niese. And Carlos Beltran offered to buy him a new nose? Wait, that can’t be right? Maybe, he meant Bose, you know the stereo. Reading further:

“Beltran wanted me to have a new nose,” Niese [told reporters on Monday]. “So he offered to pay for it. I was just like, ‘All right.’ Then it turned into seeing doctors and to getting it fixed.”

Mets Pitcher Jonathon Niese after his nosejob

Damn. Before on the left, after on the right. His sniffer looks almost the same to me, not that I nose what it really should look like. Oh noes! I meant to to say, not that I really knew what it looked like. That before picture is terrible. Who puts a shadow in a before picture?

Credibility, get some. Immediately. Okay, hang tight. How about da’ Cal Bears? You know we are playing the Colorado Somethings (Buffalo, Bison?) today to stay in first place? Here is pic from our game at Utah on Thursday:

Jason Washburn (Utah), Harper Kamp (Cal)

Click on the picture for the whole shot, but the inside scoop on Harper is that he is a big Christmas caroler. And even though it is not in-season, he is quietly humming carols to himself. Do you hear what I hear? I can’t really speak to Jason, other than that he dabbles and dribbles in blood-curdling screams.

Did I not just post on chins? And now I am poking fun at hair and noses and carols? I had better pull the plug on this post. How in the heck did I get you to read the whole thing?

4 thoughts on “Bagels and Noses and Bears, Oh My!

  1. It took some doing to finish reading it, Ace…but I managed..you coulda gotten there because I told you before in another post the Air Force does cosmetic surgery…you know, noses…and yes I can see where the guy had has nose done…it doesn’t really change anything, unless of course, you’re Michael Jackson…most of us have something done and don’t go back to redo it over again and again, but Michael had many plastic surgeries to get where he was…and it wasn’t pretty at the end…k

  2. CP: Ha ha! You are a great American.
    Kris: I did read of your exploits with Air Force surgeons. You too, are a great American for finishing this!

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