Tiger Woods a SEAL? Um No. . .

Hank Haney was Tiger Woods’ golf instructor. And he is writing a book called the “Big Miss.” One revelation- apparently Tiger was secretly considering joining the SEALs:

“Tiger was seriously considering becoming a Navy SEAL. I didn’t know how he’d go about it, but when he talked about it, it was clear he had a plan….I thought, Wow, here is Tiger Woods, greatest athlete on the planet, maybe the greatest athlete ever, right in the middle of his prime, basically ready to leave it all behind for a military life.”

Tiger Woods at Fort Bragg, Navy SEAL?

Yeah right. Tiger Woods is talented. At golf. He is an athlete, but not a Team guy. He thinks about one thing, himself. I respect him for his game, not his character. He’s a selfish punk. Somehow the editors at Yahoo seem to think that Woods has a military background because his father Earl was a Green Beret:

Woods has a military background and spent four days going through training at Fort Bragg in 2004 — also, his father, Earl, was a Green Beret in the U.S. Army — so it shouldn’t come as a total shock that he considered joining the Armed Forces.

Um, no. Tiger Woods doesn’t have a military background. Four days at Bragg does not give him bragging rights. Kudos to his father. Earl Woods served. I’ll stop. You get the idea.

Troy Landry from Swamp People Sez: Choot ‘Em!

Dayum, I shoulda been a swamp person! I can’t pry myself away from the television when the show is on. And this week’s episode had two of Troy Landry’s sons, Chase Landry and Jacob out together. And they brought home a monster:

Day three of the month-long alligator season in Louisiana finds the hunters working at a frantic pace to fill their tags. King of the Swamp, Troy Landry and Master hunter, Junior Edwards are following identical strategies; by putting their sons on a second boat with a specific mission: Catch Big Gators.

Swamp People- Jacob Landry and Troy Landry

It’s a mission the new captains won’t find easy to fulfill. Meanwhile, in Myrtle Grove, Joe LaFont and his stepson Tommy are back on the water. With more tags than ever this season, they’re on track to make big bucks until… Joe sustains a potentially season-ending injury. In Bayou Pigeon, newcomers Austyn and Blake are trying to earn their way into the alligator business a few tags at a time. With five tags in hand, they set out to prove to their buyer that they are the next generation of swamp legends.

Troy and the boyz have their own website, called appropriately enough, Choot ‘Em!

From the Louisiana Atchafaylaya Basin Swamps to national television is your favorite Swamp People, The Landry Gang. Troy Landry along with his sons Jacob and Chase and family friend Clint together make up this alligator hunting team!

Choot ‘em! Clint, Troy (in his lucky shirt), Jacob, and Chase Landry

Heck, all the Landry’s have their own Facebook pages. And ol’ Troy has more likes than most of the Presidential candidates. Someone even called for him to run. Troy for Prez!

Railgun or Kitty?

Tell me, do you see a railgun going off or a kitten in this picture:

BAE Rail Gun or White Kitten?

This weapon could one day revolutionize warfare.

It’s a new version of the railgun, and it packs an earth-shattering, hypersonic punch.

In the past, railguns have been high-tech but massive beasts that looked like only the largest naval ships could handle one. With continued testing and experimentation, that’s starting to change.

You don’t see a kitty in that picture? I don’t even see a gun! I see this:

Or maybe even this:

Are you even listening?

Or am I boring you?

And you’ve had your fill?

Then you must confess that you see a white kitty in the first picture.
I can keep at this all night. . .

Ozzie and Buck

Depending on how you count it, I am a third-generation American. And It is an honor to live in this country, an honor I sometimes worry is taken for granted. When I read this about Ozzie Guillen, who was born in Ocumare Del Tuy, Venezula, I wanted to high-five the guy. He gets it:

The Anthem lasts from 90 seconds to two minutes, Guillen says. If you can’t handle standing still for it, the Sun-Sentinel reports, prepare to feel the Wrath of Oz:

“A lot of people have been killed trying to make this country free for us,” Guillen said. “You should be there for at least two minutes. Respect that, especially if you come from another country. You should be there an hour before.

Ozzie Guillen of the Miami Marlins 

I think it looks good for baseball if you’re in the stands and you look at the team respecting the flag and the National Anthem…Kids can see that, the respect.”

It’s the same singular rule Guillen had when he managed the Chicago White Sox from 2004 through most of 2011. Guillen always has shown respect for what it means to be an American; he became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 2006.

Will I cheer for the new-look Florida Marlins this year? No, but I’ll order fish off the menu the next time I go to a seafood joint, in honor of Ozzie. . .

While we are on the subject of patriotism, we lost one of the good guys, Buck Compton:

Lynn D. “Buck” Compton, a veteran whose World War II exploits were depicted in the HBO miniseries “Band of Brothers,” has died, his family said. Compton died Saturday in Burlington, Wash., after having a heart attack last month, the family told the Los Angeles Times.

“To us he wasn’t really a war hero, he was just a hero, period,” Tracy Compton told the Herald.

WWII veterans, from left, Sid Phillips, Buck Compton, Bradford Freeman, and William Guarnere pose at the screening of the Band of Brothers

Lynn Compton also is remembered for his legal career in California. He headed the team that prosecuted Sirhan B. Sirhan for the slaying of Robert F. Kennedy and was appointed to the 2nd District Court of Appeal in 1970 by Gov. Ronald Reagan. He retired from the bench in 1990.

He was awarded a Silver Star and a Purple Heart during World War II. But it wasn’t until later in life that he became famous for his military service as a first lieutenant in Easy Company after the unit parachuted into France on D-Day in 1944.

Thank you Lieutenant Compton for your service. You make all Lieutenants and all Americans proud. Godspeed, friend. . .

Neat

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
–John Lehman (1942 – ), Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987

RIP Captain Skon, Navy Ace

Heroes, this country was founded upon their greatness. You can add one more to the honor roll of those who have passed on:

Warren Skon, Navy fighter pilot and ace of World War II crouches on the wing of his plane.

Warren A. “Andy” Skon, 92, a retired Navy captain who was an ace fighter pilot in the Pacific theater during World War II, died Jan. 19 at his home in McLean.

His wife of 67 years, Hazel M. Skon, also 92, died three days later at their McLean home. Both had pneumonia, their daughter Nancy Jedele said.

Capt. Skon was a highly decorated pilot who took part in several major air-combat operations during his two years as a naval aviator in the Pacific. He participated in the Navy’s first nighttime fighter actions from an aircraft carrier and was awarded the Navy Cross, the Navy’s highest award for wartime valor.

Amazing, his wife of 67 years passed just three days after him. God bless them both.

Miss Evie Mouse Will Solve Your Problems

This is ingenious! For around a buck fitty, give o’take a penny o’two, a mature woman will solve any of your weensy problems with good advice. Her name is Evie Mouse and she could be onto something. (Um, I was just joshing ’bout that mature thingy:)

Eve Hobsbawm

Eve Hobsbawm is a London-based life counsellor. Make contact through her website – EveProblemSolver.com – and for a small fee she will send you helpful advice.

Two weeks ago, I got in touch: I had lost my keys, and was panicking about what to cook my friends.

But I also couldn’t work out how Eve manages to run a business while attending school – since she is just eight years old.

I wonder if she takes Pokemon cards. . .

Transformative Art Is Code for Garbage

I always am wary of the word transformative. Coming up in Berkeley, I’ve seen transformative up close and I want no part of it. An artist just passed away and he is being hurrahed as a transformative visionary. I don’t think so:

The Harwood Museum of Art, the Death Shrine installation by artist Ken Price on display in Taos, NM

Ken Price, an internationally known artist whose glazed and painted clay blurred the lines between ceramics and sculpture, is being remembered for his humor, his love of natural shapes and for the long hours he spent in the studio perfecting what became a style all his own.

Family and friends gathered at his studio in Taos to share their stories Sunday following his death Friday morning at his home in Taos.

So, look at his work and tell me if this title fits: Transformative artist Ken Price dies in NM at 77?

Transformative? No, I don’t think so. His Death Shrine looks like any you might see in South America. I may have been born at night, I just was not born last night. . .

Thanks for the 500K

Sometime last night, my hit-counter clicked through to 500K. Thanks for reading and thanks for returning. I’ve had this blog for a little over 6 months. And it is a blast!

A Gay Marine Does Not Quite Tell the Truth

Look, I get it. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is over. I’ve just never seen a male in uniform straddle his significant other after a deployment. I know civilian wives who’ve jumped into their husbands’ arms and I’ll bet there have been female service members who scissor-lock their civilian husbands and kiss them. I’ve never seen it. Still, this picture startled me:

Marine Brandon Morgan and Dalan

The Marine, Brandon Morgan, posted a response on his Facebook wall according to the JoeMyGod blog. “To everyone who has responded in a positive way. My partner and I want to say thank you. Dalan, the giant in the photo, can’t believe how many shares and likes we have gotten on this.

He returned home from deployment and is jazzed. But he also received some negative feedback from the affair, including the gay kissing in uniform:

“If the Sergeants Major, Captains, Majors, and Colonels around us didn’t care…then why do you care what these random people have to say?”

Which is, of course, not altogether true. The Sergeants Major, Captains, Majors, and Colonels can’t say anything. They may care and they may not care. About the PDA or about Mr. Morgan’s sexual orientation. But homosexuality no longer follows Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Even if leadership cared about the PDA, no one is going to say anything. If I saw it, I would be mute too.

Lastly, why is their no mention of his rank? He is a Marine. Not some individual looking for publicity. . .

You Ever Feel Out of Uniform?

“Sailors and co-eds take a turn around the dance floor during World War II. These Naval Air Corps men were in Miami to take advantage of 15-week courses in aeronautics, ground school, theory, and flight training.” –From the U of Miami

In all fairness to the Sailor in blues, some commands shift uniforms at different times of the year. It is also possible that he dropped the ball (at the Ball) and just wore the wrong uniform. I’ve seen it happen before. . .

Three Navy SEALs on a Sunday Night Mission

Got three Navy SEAL posts for your lazy Sunday night. By now, you have probably heard that Act of Valor took the top spot over the weekend:

The film earned an estimated $25m (£15.75 million) – more than triple the amount of Jennifer Aniston’s latest romantic comedy ‘Wanderlust’.

Despite Aniston and co-star Paul Rudd heavily promoting the film it only took $8m.

Tyler Perry’s latest movie ‘Good Deeds’ was second with $15m.

Act of Valor, which was made for a budget of just $20m, received rave reviews from critics and moviegoers alike.

Over at Yahoo Answers, we get a recruit’s question and then a grumpy answer from a Navy Chief:

Navy SEAL Boots?

Q: Can you bring your own boots to BUD/S (Navy SEAL Training)? I know that they issue you everything you need (Boots being the Bates 924 series as I understand it) but could you bring your own boots? Socks? I’d prefer bringing top of the line gear to training of possible.

A: Sure, bring them. You can wear them during your off duty/training time. What do you think, you’re going to Burger King, where you get it your way?  Source(s): Retired Chief Petty Officer

And our last SEAL post (old, but interesting news) concerns DDG-112, the mighty USS Michael Murphy:

Maureen Murphy, mother of Lt. Michael P. Murphy (SEAL), welds a steel box filled with mementos of her son to the mast of the guided-missile destroyer Pre-Commissioning Unit (PCU) Michael Murphy (DDG 112), during a mast stepping ceremony at General Dynamics Bath Iron Works in Bath, Maine.

Sacha Baron Cohen at the Academy Awards Show

I have previously stated that I don’t do awards shows. I find them dull. And elitist. Why would artists give out awards anyway? It seems odd. Is not the process of making art it’s own reward? Still when I saw this picture from the Oscars, I had to chuckle:

Sacha Baron Cohen, Kim Jong-il’s ashes, and two bereted, female guards at the Academy Awards

Shades of Moammar Gadhafi, from Sacha Baron Cohen’s new movie, the Dictator. And the urn is from our old pal Kim Jong-il. They are his “ashes:”

 “The Dictator” just dropped an urn full of “Kim Jong-il’s” ashes on a clearly annoyed Ryan Seacrest. Giuliana Rancic said, “Do you know how lucky you are? Out of every reporter here, he chose you,” though Seacrest seemed less than pleased.

For her part, E! correspondent Kelly Osbourne could only laugh in disbelief. Seacrest took several moments to clean the ashes off, finally receiving a towel from a nearby reporter from another outlet. Seacrest: “Now you know why this isn’t taped. Anything can happen, and it most certainly did — all over my lapel.”

I always find Ali G, Borat, and Cohen’s other characters to be initially funny, but he never knows when to stop the joke. He just keeps pushing it and pushing it. Until it gets old.

Bagels and Noses and Bears, Oh My!

Here is a post that should absolutely cause you to shake your head and wonder why the heck I am blogging it. In fact, if you don’t shake your head and wonder why, I am going to shake my head and wonder why you are not shaking your head and wondering why.

Ready, go: I often see odd pictures pop in Yahoo. Like these on Milan Fashion:

And then later I think: Hmm, that would have made a wacky post. Although you will notice that the link does not go to Yahoo. I did not bookmark it, which led me to ponder: where is that crazy link with the pasty models who have bread (or even bagels) on their head? Like a bunch of loafers? So I googled it and got sent to, gulp, FABSUGAR?

Eeek, I had better get this post back on track. What could magically restore my credibility? Sports? Yeah. Baseball? YEAH! Okay, heading over to Yahoo. The top baseball story is about a pitcher. Perfect. (Pitcher perfect, a take-off of picture perfect. First uttered in late 1949. . . whoops, gotta stay focused. I’m trying to get my mojo back.)

Okay, so the baseball story is about the New York Mets. Who play in Flushing, Queens. The town with some of the best toilets in America. (Sorry, this train/post is running away from me.) Okay. Mets. Pitcher. Some guy named Jonathan Nice. Arggh, not nice. Make that, Jonathon Niese. And Carlos Beltran offered to buy him a new nose? Wait, that can’t be right? Maybe, he meant Bose, you know the stereo. Reading further:

“Beltran wanted me to have a new nose,” Niese [told reporters on Monday]. “So he offered to pay for it. I was just like, ‘All right.’ Then it turned into seeing doctors and to getting it fixed.”

Mets Pitcher Jonathon Niese after his nosejob

Damn. Before on the left, after on the right. His sniffer looks almost the same to me, not that I nose what it really should look like. Oh noes! I meant to to say, not that I really knew what it looked like. That before picture is terrible. Who puts a shadow in a before picture?

Credibility, get some. Immediately. Okay, hang tight. How about da’ Cal Bears? You know we are playing the Colorado Somethings (Buffalo, Bison?) today to stay in first place? Here is pic from our game at Utah on Thursday:

Jason Washburn (Utah), Harper Kamp (Cal)

Click on the picture for the whole shot, but the inside scoop on Harper is that he is a big Christmas caroler. And even though it is not in-season, he is quietly humming carols to himself. Do you hear what I hear? I can’t really speak to Jason, other than that he dabbles and dribbles in blood-curdling screams.

Did I not just post on chins? And now I am poking fun at hair and noses and carols? I had better pull the plug on this post. How in the heck did I get you to read the whole thing?

1966 Chevy Nova, Navy Tribute Car

Kevyn Major Howard, “Rafterman” from Stanley Kubrick’s blockbuster film Full Metal Jacket, challenged himself in 2007 to name just one Hero that had died for his freedom. “I was watching the nightly news as they announced that 12 died this day and 7 that day”, Kevyn said. “I woke up one morning and challenged myself to name just one person who has died for my freedom”, he continued. “I couldn’t.”

So Kevyn decided to do something about it. He started the Fueled By The Fallen, a 501(c)3 non-profit. Kevyn enlisted the expertise of Chuck Spiker, a lifelong drag racer and former National Go Kart Champion, to create a memorial that would get the attention of all Americans.

When I was in high school, I did some bodywork on a Chevy Nova SS. (The car was not mine, it was a friend’s.) I had the front quarter panel memorized so often did I lather it with bondo. I won’t claim I knew what I was doing, but I got better at it.

When I saw this great tribute car, I was reminded of that Nova we had worked on. And I wonder, where is it now?