As the title indicates, the clock is ticking. Your mission, Mr. or Ms. blog reader, is to read the below articles. Should you or any other blogee laugh or learn something new, the Mellow Jihadi will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This blog will self-destruct in sixty minutes. Good luck. . .

Council Submissions

• The Noisy Room – To Be Taken With A grain Of Galt
• The Colossus of Rhodey – O.W.S. still craving a Kent State moment
• Simply Jews – A short history of another bullsh*t scoop
• The Political Commentator – Comrade Russia is screwing the U.S. yet again!
• Joshuapundit-Rats in the Kitchen: A Parable
• The Right Planet – Climategate 2.0 Updates Are ‘Fast & Furious’
• Right Truth – Politico Writes A Book – Will they admit their hatchet job on Herman Cain?
• Bookworm Room–Minority employees and “making it” in America
• GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD – Syrian Coup d’état
• New Zeal – Congressman Hansen Clarke and the Michigan Marxists
• The Glittering Eye -Is Paul Krugman’s Wife Crazy?
• VA Right! - Richmond TEA Party Spite Tax Auditor Cynthia Carr Has Lost Her Privacy – Thanks, Mayor Gollum!
• The Razor – Fragility
• Rhymes With Right – “There Is No Virtue In Being Compelled”
• The Mellow Jihadi – The Navy, Anthony Weiner, and Mustaches

Honorable Mentions

• The Grouch – More Medicare “CUTS”. Let’s Just Push Old Folks Off a Cliff
• The Independent Sentinel- The Death of the Western Currencies – Who Will Be the Last Man Standing
• Capitalist Preservation – GOP Candidate Linden Borden scores key endorsement from Diogenes’ Middle Finger

Non-Council Submissions

• Sultan Knish –The Myth of the Arab Spring Underdog submitted by The Noisy Room
• The First Street Journal – When Western multiculturalism and sexual equality meets with Arab culture submitted by The Colossus of Rhodey
• The Passing Parade – OWS IT GOING, AND IT SHOULD GO FASTER submitted by Simply Jews
• Caroline Glick -Calling Things By Their Proper Names submitted by The Political Commentator
• LATMA – Arab Times Are A Changin’ submitted by Joshuapundit
• Daily Mail – Lib Dems should be more Oxfam says Nick Clegg submitted by The Right Planet
• Wired Danger Room -Hero Marine Sues Defense Giant After Sniper Scope Fight submitted by Right Truth
• Victor Davis Hanson/Pajamas Media-Why Not Pay Higher Taxes?submitted by Bookworm Room
• The Long War Journal – US, Pakistan differ on events leading to Mohmand strike submitted by GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD
• Accuracy In Media – The War On Police submitted by New Zeal
• Sense of Events – What to say to the grieving submitted by The Glittering Eye
• Pat Dollard – “STOP THIS!”: Eric Holder Demands Daily Caller Stop Publishing “Fast And Furious” Stories submitted by VA Right!
• Via Meadia –Occupy The Plantation? Blacks Shun OWS submitted by The Razor
• Thurber’s Thoughts – You’re not a ‘victim’ if you’re shot while committing a crime submitted by Rhymes with Right
• Neptunus Lex –Lawsuit submitted by The Mellow Jihadi
• Law Blog – Thanks to the Internet, We Are All Now Criminals submitted by The Watcher
• American Thinker – Tebow, Palin, and the Pain of Remorse submitted by The Watcher