Mid-flight, yelling Allahu Akbar, but not a terrorist.

Not brilliant, but at least I say it aloud.

An adult baby, living on your tax dollars.

Lazy, for refusing to get out of bed to do an interview.

European, and would ban reality if I could.

Not Caesar, but will still mangle quotes by him.

A crazed killer, with man-boobs.

Stupid, for spitting on the hand that feeds me.

Anti-military, for not accepting a ROTC program.

Revolutionary, and not the poser, 99% kind.

Upside-down, and still beating you.

Learning sign-language.

A Ferrari, with two wheels.

Home.