Recently, I had cause to visit the dentist. To get my yearly check-up. And guess what lurks at the dentist office, other than that sinking dread in the pit of your stomach and sweaty palms? Trashy pop-culture mags, of which I blame for this post. Advance apologies. . .
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler (referred to by their cutesy one-iker Cloonbler) are apparently an item. How do I know? Star magazine whispered the factoid in my ear.
I hate to rain on their picnic, but this pair is short-lived.
First, she is taller than him. Yes, she may be wearing heels, but George does not give the appearance of a happy camper in this picture. (Rain on their picnic, happy camper? I might be overdue for a little outdoor romping, like a long trail run.)
And she used to wrestle professionally for the WCW and the WWE, yet George does not waft the air of your typical wrestling fan. Let’s not forget that the WWE CEO, the politically conservative Linda McMahon, ran for the Senate. But Mr. Clooney most decidely harkens from the other side of the aisle. Ms. Keibler, of course, could possibly be an outlier in her industry and of the same political feather as the ducky Clooney.
I could be off-base with my observations. What do I know about pop-culture? Let’s go to the experts:
At Sunday’s (Oct. 16) New York Film Festival screening of “The Descendants,” Cloon-bler made its red carpet debut.
The two have been linked for several months and photographed at parties, but never before have they brought their strikingly beautiful love to the carpet.
It appears that Keibler has worn down serial bachelor Clooney’s resistance. Way to be persistent, Stacy.
Keibler, a former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant, is best known for her years as a WWE ring diva; her signature move was provocatively bending over to get between the ring ropes.
Now she’s canoodling with the top of the A-list. That’s what we call “upward mobility,” folks.
I am sorry for Ms. Keibler, but this has rebound written all over it. George recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend, the Italian model Elizabeth (Elisabetta) Canalis.
I unearthed the background of this complex pop-cultural case by exercising my google fu. (I enjoy the distinction and honor of wearing a brown belt in the martial art.) So if any of this angers you, get mad at google.
Additional facts for your consumption: Ms. Canalis was a contestant on Dancing with the Stars, as was Stacy Keibler. On that note, Ms. Keibler had this to say regarding her stint in the show:
The actor’s current girlfriend, former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler, came in third place on Dancing With the Stars in 2006 — and now she’s offering Clooney’s most recent ex Elisabetta Canalis some sage advice.
“I think everyone should just have fun with it,” she told Us Weekly at the Appleton Estate Rum Bartender Challenge Finals in NYC Monday.
For our final tally, Ms. Keibler finished third at the Big Dance and Ms. Canalis finished near the bottom. Perhaps George enjoys cutting the rug and is a secret ballroom dancer? A cha-cha-cha-er. And he wanted to trade up?
Alternative conspiracy theory: Stacy might be a heiress to the Keebler cookie fortune. And maybe George craves mightily the cookie masterpiece known as E.L. Fudge. (Note: E.L. Fudge is not a Latin product, however El Fudgerio is.)
Folks, please allow me to extend my sincerest apologies. No more George Clooney posts. ‘Til the next time I visit the dentist. Uh oh, I have a cleaning in two weeks! You had better hope that they don’t find anything requiring more extensive dental spelunking or it could be a month of Clooney. Until then. . .