Bieber and Beever

Confession time: I do not know a single Justin Bieber song. Ni uno.

Nor would I recognize the post-tweener’s adolescent shriek from an audio line-up of similar sound criminals. (Number three, turn to the left. Check that. I mean: number three, please sing one octave lower. Damn boy, put some bass in yo’ face!)

When a co-worker mentioned his name, I confessed to her the above admission. That I was Bieb-ignorant.

So she sang me some song with Baby, Something-or-other in it. Maybe: Baby, Baby, Baby? She also told me that her 4-year old son absolutely loved to sing the tender ballad, much to her chagrin.

I have alluded to the Bieb before in this blog, because the Middle-Aged Kids on the Block (MAKOTB), David Cassidy, and the Hansens were otherwise busy. Plus, them dusty idols are long in the tooth, some very long.

And the Bieb’ster is so today, as in now. Not for me, but to millions of screaming, adoring fans who view him as the “it” teeny-bopper of his 1/4 generation. (A tweeny-bopster has a shelf-life. Most do not last a whole generation, not even half.)

Justin Bieber, Old Haircut, Wat up?

Why am I discussing this kid crooner whom I know nothing about, other than using his name as both a punching bag and a punchline? (Hmmmm, what’s with the over-abundance of punching going on here? Aggression issues, I may have them.)

Simply put, he changed his haircut. And he has some folks seriously up in arms over his chopped sidewalls. His signature bob is gone, replaced with a more edgier ‘do.

In the military, you are issued one haircut. It is called short.

And the Bieb’s older cut did quite not fit the regs. Do I need to count the ways? (Allusion to the Victorian poetic genius, Elizabeth Barrett Browning: How out of regs is your haircut, let me count the ways.)

Justin Bieber, New Haircut

What I can tell you, from intelligence gleaned and gleamed from the pictures posted here: he likes purple. In the first shot above, he is wearing a purple sweater from the fall 1982 Mr. Rogers collection.

And in the shot to the left (to the left, to the left), he is bathed in purple light, which rumor informs us is the most expensive light to bathe in. Per ten watts, it costs his management team (Bieber Unlimited Ltd.) approximately ten dollars for ten minutes. Like purple gold, it is. (Mnemonic rule of thumb to remember the cost ratios: 10 for 10 for 10. Or 10³.)

Still, his new ‘do caused some problemos. Most notably:

When Justin Bieber decided to change his hairstyle last February, Jay Foreman was not amused. The founder and CEO of toy manufacturer the Bridge Direct, estimates that Bieber’s small change cost Foreman’s company a big chunk of change, around $100,000.

His company makes dolls based on Bieber’s likeness. Not surprisingly, the dolls (we refuse to call them action figures) are a huge hit with kids. Foreman related his tale of woe to CNN Money.

A Tale of  2 Biebers: Bieber’s new hair and the Bieber Doll

Foreman was sitting at his desk when he heard shrieks coming from his co-workers. They’d just learned that Bieber had changed his trademark haircut, rendering the company’s hot-selling line of dolls outdated. Foreman had already begun manufacturing a new round of dolls with the star’s original haircut.

There, that is all. I have nothing left to say about the Bieb. But when researching this story, our hard-working research department came up with this:

Julian Beever, Montparnasse Railway, Paris

Located in front of the Montparnasse Railway Station in Paris, this chalk drawing was created by Julian Beever to commemorate the 10th anniversary of a 2001 accident at a petrochemical plant.

Now what does this have to do with our boy Bieb-o? Well, two things. One, both articles are from Yahoo. And two, their names are almost the same and I double-took (did me a double-take*) when I saw the Beev’s name.

And I thought is it possible that the Bieber kid actually has talent? Pretty cruel for someone who has never heard his music, huh?

Conclusion: Bieber and Beever, not the same person. One talented, the other: who knows? (I would say the jury is out, but the jury has never been in.)

*Truth be told, I did two double-takes. Otherwise referred to (in more respected blogs) as the seldom seen, highly prized quadruple-take. You ever heard of forsaken? This is known as fourtaken. . .

14 thoughts on “Bieber and Beever

  1. I, too, have never listened to Justin Bieber, but then I’m an out-of-touch old lady, and he seems to be just a baby. For some reason, I always think of the term “imbibe” when Bieber’s name is mentioned – imbibe on Bieber.

    Now the Beever has some talent for sure. Of course, I’m partial to the visual arts.

  2. My question is, how do we trick ourselves into believing Justin Bieber is talented? I have no doubt Julian Beever may be in his arena since the definition of the visual arts today is so plastic and changeable…these are the times we undoubtedly live, sad to say…k

  3. I don’t think I’d reconzied any of that kids music….so, he must not play classic rock. Now, “Leave it to Beever” I know about.

  4. Thanks, that Fine Arts site needs an update. Usually I post art on my blog, but the house has been taking up my art time. I did post a link to my daughter’s blog who is also an artist. She also posted her a few pics of the recent Sheppard Air Show. http://www.skybag.blogspot.com

  5. I’ll have to pass on the Biebs….I’ve never been interested in him.

    Good job research department for finding Beever’s site. I was checking out his gallery and his sidewalk work is amazing.

    I dig impressionist paintings..I had a chance to see the Birth of Impressionism exhibit, which included works from Monet, Renoir and Degas. It was cool to see some of my favorite paintings in person.

    -Lauren

  6. I briefly looked through some of Julian Beever’s artwork…it is impressive and reminds me most notably of Salvador Daii…it’s been quite a while since looked at paintings, drawings or any impressionistic art…but this man is very talented and his chalk sidewalk drawings are unbelievably realistic and somewhat startling at first glance..I’d love to see some of this in person because the photos hardly do his work justice…k

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  8. Dan: What’s gotten into the Beev?
    Lou: Your link is not working for me.
    Lauren: I love all those painters. Back when visual art was art and not insanity.
    Kris: Yes, he is quite talented. . .

  9. Between workouts at the dojo, and two young kids, I have rather reluctantly been dragged into the musical side of second decade of the 20th century. I am very happy to report, though, that neither dojo nor children are Bieber-ites.

    As the mother of said children, however, the good thing about the little Bieb is that he keeps his nose clean — and I mean that literally. There are no tales circulating about this shaggy (or clean-cut) young man sniffing or smoking or drinking things that make a mother’s heart quail. For that, I give him, or his careful publicists, high marks, even if his music makes me queasy.

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