F-35 flaw – solution – Guinness!

Pilots who eject from America’s most expensive military jet could break their neck if they weigh less than 136 pounds (9.7 Stone.) It has emerged that the Martin-Baker US16E seats on the $350billion F-35s proved to be flawed during tests. While challenging the new Generation 3 helmets during trials, it was discovered that the ejection snapped the necks of light-weight test dummies.1FA8776400000578-0-image-a-61_1435683710238 

The US military services have now decided to ban pilots under the weight of 136 pounds from operating the plane. It’s the latest in a series of setbacks, which has delayed production by up to eight years and put it hundreds of billions of dollars over budget.

Comparison with its predecessor – F16.

Role: Stealth multirole fighter
First flight: December 15, 2006
Unit cost (not including engine):
F-35A – $98million
F-35B – $104million
F-35C – $116million
Number built: 115 (as of November 2014)
Length: 15.67m
Wingspan: 10.7m
Height: 4.33m
Max speed (F-35A): 1,930kph
One of the most highly anticipated features of the F-35 armament is the Small Diameter Bomb II (SBD II).The bomb is able to guide towards its target using laser, imaging infrared or radar homing. It can hit moving or stationary targets in any weather, or at night, with unprecedented reliability and accuracy. The ‘super weapon’ is predicted to be the most versatile air-to-ground munition in the Pentagon’s air combat inventory. The cost per SDB II is said to be around $250,000 and the US military plans on buying as many as 17,000 of them.
Role: Multirole fighter
First flight: January 20, 1974
Unit cost:
F-16A/B – $14.6million
F-16C/D – $18.8million
Number built: 4,540+
Length: 15.06m
Wingspan: 9.96m
Height: 4.88m
Max speed (F-16C): 2,120kph
Combat history:
The F-16 has served in the Air Forces of 26 nations, including the U.S., Israel, Egypt, the Netherlands, Denmark and Norway. During Operation Desert Storm, the 1991 assault on Iraq, F-16s flew over 13,000 operations, more than any other Coalition aircraft. The U.S. has employed the F-16 in operations over the Balkans, Afghanistan and Libya.  At its production peak in 1987, the F-16 team in Fort Worth was also making history, by producing 30 F-16s in just 30 days. Thanks to frequent upgrades improving and incorporating new technologies into the cockpit, avionics, sensors and weapons, the aircraft has become more reliable over its 40 years.guinness

My Lords, Ladies & Gentlemen… I have the solution to the problem of minimum weight pilots, who fall below the safety threshold – compulsory consumption of (doffing my cap and holding it close to my heart) ‘Guinness!’ (AKA The Black Stuff, Irish Champagne, Diesel, Bunkers, The Black Nectar, Vitamin G, Black Custard.) The top brass at the Pentagon can have that one for free. Sláinte mhaith…  Yours_Aye.

Wallabies give St. George a swift kicking

2D0DDDB600000578-3258786-An_Australian_lineout_at_Twickenham_during_the_crucial_Pool_A_ma-a-107_1443908592072Rugby World Cup humiliation: As Australia cruise to a 33-13 victory and England fail to make it past the group stages: The worst ever performance by a host nation. 

With England’s pool of available talent they should be nailing these competitions, unfortunately the coach seems to lack the drive and ambition required. New coach required, and possibly a new Captain. Very well done Australia – richly deserved.   Yours_Aye.

Chris Mintz – a hero stepped up

Funding appeal for hero student who was shot seven times when he blocked college gunman with his own body raises $600,000 in one day – smashing $10,000 target through Go Fund Me appeal set up by his family.2D021A6D00000578-3257223-image-m-2_1443786561053

Army veteran Chris Mintz, 30, was taken to hospital following the massacre at Umpqua Community College on Thursday morning after trying to take down Chris Harper-Mercer, 26, who killed nine people at the school in Roseburg.

Other students at the college told how Mintz desperately tried to save them from the shooter.
Hannah Miles told ABC News: He ran to the library and pulled the alarms and he was telling people to run, grabbing people, telling them, “You just have to go.” ‘He actually ran back towards the building where the shooting was and he ran back into the building and I don’t know what happened to him.’ Mintz tried to block Harper-Mercer from entering a classroom as he fired his gun, even telling him as he lay on the ground bleeding; ‘It’s my son’s birthday.’

A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the size of his heart – Chris Mintz has a heart that matches his strength. BZ mate, the worlds a better place through your gallant effort.   Yours_Aye.

Saddest day in Oregon

Oregon college gunman made victims stand up and state their religion – then shot them anyway: Twenty-six-year-old student shooter kills 13 and injures 20 in shooting spree before being shot dead by cops.

My heart truly goes out to the families who have lost loved ones.   Yours_Aye.

Mathematician in a tight spot!

2CF22D4C00000578-3255203-image-m-79_1443651227994The formula that finds the right tights/panty hose for ANY weather: Mathematician studied his wife’s choices to create an equation for the perfect thickness whatever the temperature. October is here and it’s that dread time of the year when women (or gentlemen of a particular persuasion) begin the transition from bare legs of summer, to wearing tights or stockings to cover up for autumn. (Right) Perfectly filled. (Below) Deflatingly empty…2CF2189800000578-3255203-image-a-80_1443651275380
But working out whether you should be warding off the chill with a thick 80 denier pair, or if it will be a balmy day that needs nothing more warming than 20 denier, can be something of an art form.

At least it was until a mathematician decided to make it a science, by developing a formula that tells you exactly what thickness of stocking you should be wearing based on both the predicted temperature and the wind speed. Mathematician’s formula finds the right tight/panty hose thickness for varying weather temperatures. 

Obviously he’s a mathematician who has far too much time on his hands… I reckon he was caught by his wife whilst trying on her best pair of tights, and skilfully concocted the scientific wild arsed guess’ formula!    That’s my ‘swag’ and I’m sticking to it.    Yours_Aye.

Sleeps with the fishes…

2CF0C79500000578-0-Police_launched_a_murder_investigation_after_the_46_year_old_s_c-m-13_1443642729599Body found in a London canal is revealed to be Italian art thief who stole a £1million painting from a church two years ago: Sebastiano Magnanini, from Venice, was found tied to a shopping trolley in Regent’s Canal on September 24. He had previously been investigated for links with the Italian mafia.

As my dear old Irish Roman Catholic Gran used to say: “Steal from a church and you’re cursed for life.” She never mentioned anything about sleeping with the fishes, it must be a mafioso Italiano thing? A hint of genius though – using the mode of transport to double up as the dead mans weight belt!   Yours_Aye

Human rights – two choices…

2CEC48BF00000578-3254542-image-a-18_1443601213625Asylum bid by Libyans in sex rampage: The tree Libyan trainee soldiers were jailed following a night of vile assaults, they now demand their ‘right’ to stay in the UK.  Ibrahim El Maarfi, Khaled El Azibi and Mohammed Abdalsalam.2CEC48BF00000578-3254542-image-a-19_1443601213626

The soldiers, who have served short sentences in UK prisons, are thought to be using legal aid to lodge their claims.2CEC48BF00000578-3254542-image-m-17_1443601208308 They say they risk persecution if sent home because their crimes have brought Libya into disrepute.

They should be given two choices: *Stay – under the terms and conditions of Sharia law, and have each offending hand hacked off. *Leave – and return to the cess-pit from whence they came. Give them 72 hours to mull it over… Then publicly flog the halfwit Politicians and Generals who dreamt up the idea of bringing them across in the first place.   Yours_Aye.

A real man cave…

Former businessman spends £100,000 & single-handedly carves a CAVE into his dream house: The most bizarre Grand Designs TV episode yet.Grand Designs hobbit cave

Angelo Mastropietro, 37, spent eight months single-handedly transforming the 800-year-old hobbit hole in the Wyre Forest in Worcestershire into a 21st century man cave, complete with running water, under-floor heating and even wi-fi. The former recruitment boss was inspired to buy the cave after being diagnosed with MS at the age of 29, a catalyst which forced him to rethink his high-flying career and the stress and unhealthy lifestyle that came along with it.

I’m truly happy with my lot over here in ‘dear old Blighty’ (that could only be bettered if we had a form of second amendment that gave us the right to keep and  bear arms – Sigh!). But what I would give to reside in such a man cave – which, as it just so happens, is a possibility due to several nearby ‘out of the way’ historic disused quarries. No doubt the ‘rock solid’ opportunities will double in price after tonight’s showing of Grand Designs.   Yours_Aye.

Putin’s Chess Vs Obama’s tiddlywinks

article-3254579-2CF0B42300000578-750_308x482Russia begins air strikes in Syria after warning the US led coalition to remove its planes from surrounding airspace: 

The areas blitzed by Putin are controlled by an array of rebel groups including those operating under the banner of the Free Syrian Army who are backed by the U.S-led coalition, according to activists, locals and rebels.

But none of the sources named the Islamic State as one of the groups operating in the areas hit. A U.S. official also earlier said the Russian air strikes so far did not appear to be targeting ISIS-held territory.  The reports came as video emerged that claimed to show Russian fighter jets bombing targets in the province of Hama, which is controlled by moderate rebels and not the Islamic State, while pictures showed the aftermath of an attack on the town of Talbisseh in Homs.Putin chess master

The Grand Chess Master just made a move that will throw every one else into a tailspin.  Anyone up for another game of ‘tiddlywinks’ at the UN assembly of world leaders?    Yours_Aye

Socialist haves and have nots…

Fat socialist ManKim Jong-un’s caste system: North Korean citizens are divided into five categories.  These are ranked, best to worst, as follows: special, nucleus, basic, complex, and hostile. It is one of the most secretive countries in the world but snippets of previously private information have been leaked out of North Korea.korea

Well – knock me down with a damp budgerigars feather! A Democratic Socialist state, whose ideology is  based on the “creative application of Marxism–Leninism” – has a class segregation system! What ever next? Is ‘Dear Leader’ aware of this?   Yours_Aye.

I’m Spartacus!

Yorkshire man Ronnie Pickering (who?): ‘Road rage Ronnie’ makes an absolute arse of himself after his furious ‘do-you-know-who-I-am’ video rant is posted on YouTube.  

‘Road rage Ronnie’ kicks off and states: “You got a problem? Do you know who I am?” –  “Do I care? Come on then, who are you then?” – “Ronnie Pickering.” – “Who?” – “Ronnie Pickering.” – “Who?” – “RONNIE PICKERING!” – “Who the f*** is that?” – “Me.” – “Brilliant!” Another YouTube buffoon is born, and it’s for life!2CDB995600000578-3251966-Mr_Pickering_pictured_whose_supposed_notoriety_was_lost_entirely-m-111_1443452110524

Ronnie Pickering? Now a British household name and known to thousands after the video of his road rag was posted on YouTube 

Even though the bout was totally one sided, I would score it one nil to the lad on the chicken chaser – for retaining his composure and making a mug out of Ronnie Pickering – Who?    Yours_Aye.

Socialist buffoon in Chief strikes again.

2CD6C41400000578-0-image-m-67_1443398624879President Obama tells the UN that America is committed to eradicating global poverty and hunger by 2030 in ‘one of the smartest investments we can make in our own future.’ Obama offered a powerful defence of a 15-year development agenda and will require trillions of dollars of effort from countries, companies and civil society.

The great failed Socialist in Chief – offering to spend other people’s money, on a scheme that has odds of billions to one against it ever working! Someone remind this buffoon that the podium he speaks from is situated within the bankrupt hall of the United Nations, where corruption flows like the contaminated water from its urinals. United Nations = international oxymoron…  Yours_Aye.

Super Blood Moon…

Are you ready for the SUPER BLOOD MOON? Total eclipse to coincide with closest possible lunar approach to Earth for the first time since 1982.Blood moon Sep 27 2015

A total lunar eclipse will share the stage with a so-called supermoon Sunday night or early Monday, depending where you are. There won’t be another total lunar eclipse until 2018. This one marks the end of a tetrad, or series of four total lunar eclipses set six months apart. The 21st century will see eight of these tetrads, an uncommonly good run. From 1600 to 1900, there were none.   Click to enlargeBlood moon east yorkshire 15 sep 2015

Apparently we will see the moon ‘do its thing’ at 04:00hrs Monday. Which is why I took the pic above early this evening – it’ll do for me, because I have no intention of lifting my weary head off my pillow at daft-0-clock. This morning’s walk went further than planned due to curiosity (ten miles further, so swap stupidity for curiosity!)   Yours_Aye.

Dragons slay St George!

Wales clinch last gasp 25-28 victory over England in nail-biting thriller at Twickenham: England suffered a collective brain freeze at Twickenham on Saturday which leaves their hopes of qualifying from their World Cup pool of death hanging by a thread. With two minutes left on the clock, and every one of the 81,129 fans inside the stadium holding their breath after an astonishingly brave late fight back from Wales, Chris Robshaw had a choice to make.England Vs Wales world cup

Kick for goal from wide on the right and potentially salvage a face-saving draw? Or go for broke and risk disaster? England’s captain took the latter option and replacement George Ford kicked for touch. Wales licked their lips, took a deep breath and prepared for one last heroic charge to drive England into touch. They did it. And England’s hopes were gone. Seconds later, Wales fly half Dan Biggar kicked the ball in to touch and Wales were in dreamland. England and their army of fans were in hell.

Well done Boyo’s, the best team won… For what it’s worth, I firmly believe England’s captain made a huge mistake when he decided against taking the penalty kick. Such is life when you play with oval balls… Yours_Aye.

Almost a slaughter near the butchers…

Continuing on from ‘500 years of Butchery: Having purchased my selection from the local butchers shop, I plonked my rear end down outside a local cafe and ordered a double bacon bap (meat of gods – the holiest of foods – the most revered, the most loved, the most desired and most delicious of all meats – hallelujah the Yorkshire large white.) as well as the obligatory pot of Yorkshire tea. Perusing the TIMES  as I waited, my lot was a happy one, especially after a long early walk on a bright crisp morning. Nothing could take away the feeling of completeness – or so I thought?

Two (obvious) city gentlemen walked by and entered the cafe, only to depart ‘at the rush’ to seat themselves alongside my table. The reason for their hasty departure became quite obvious – they were ordered out on the grounds of hygiene – not their own personal hygiene, as they enriched the country air with their heady scent of ‘cologne.’ Their downfall was to enter the cafe with a miniature trophy dog ensconced within a leather bag – the canine being a Yorkshire Terrier… Model shown right.yorkshire-terrier-dog-in-a-handbag-704x260

Without wishing to sound in-politically correct, or falling into the ‘hate crime’ trap – the two gentlemen of a particular persuasion immediately wound my clock. First of all due to their foul language that also fell upon the ears of gentle women sat near by. Secondly, due to their rank stupidity and ignorance over a dogs true capability of being able to walk tethered to a lead. And finally – their incessant whining over the smell of grilled bacon. wafting out of an open window. Their particular persuasion being – ‘vegetarianism!’

My order arrived; “Bacon bap – double bacon” – “Yes indeed, thank you very much!” Which received a delicate ‘tut’ and a roll of eyes from one of the gentlemen… The mainspring reached capacity, and detached itself from the holding spindle – ‘boing!’ I found myself stood in between the seated gentlemen, where upon I pointed out their offensive language that ‘will cease immediately,’ and presented a few facts;

“Bacon is one of the oldest meats in history dating back to 1500 BC – The earliest reference of bacon was around 1560, presented by a London Cheesemonger – Yorkshire large white and Tamworth pigs are bred specifically for bacon – The UK devours over 1,800,000 tons of bacon and pork each year, worth around £8 billion to the benefit of the economy.”  Then I asked if their leather  bag suffered from a vermin infestation (mild bewilderment from both) ‘because Yorkshire terriers were bred by pit miners to deal with rats and mice, and I notice your terrier fits the bill.’  

I stared at each of them betwixt their eyes, and reminded them about their language. As I took my seat they both left theirs, clutching their leather ensconced ‘ratter’ as they meandered off – at cruising speed… There is a saying around here; “The test of good manners is to graciously tolerate bad manners.” As I sat and troughed my bacon bap, I was happy in the thought that I failed miserably…   Yours_Aye.

Doing the right thing…

High school teen who defended a blind classmate, who was being beaten by a bully, is SUSPENDED and kicked off football team. Cody Pine was hailed as a hero for intervening after he saw the ‘visually impaired’ student being repeatedly hit round the head during lunch break at Huntington Beach High School, California on Wednesday. Footage, filmed by a bystander, shows the teenager stepping in and knocking the bully to the ground in a single punch. He leaves him lying bleeding on the ground while he checks on the vicitm, before turning on the attacker, asking him:  ‘You trying to jump a f***ing blind kid, bro?’ the teen says, hovering over him. ‘What the f*** is your problem?’ For the insensitive –  the clip below is uncensored – the F BOMB is dropped several times… 

As a thirteen year-old I dropped the school’s 16-year-old bully – who was roughing up new school joiners and demanding their dinner money. Unfortunately a teacher witnessed the incident – fortunately it was Billy McClean the english teacher, who summoned me for a thrashing (Roman Catholic corporal punishment was brutal.) Instead of laying into me, he gave me a book to read – Lord Of The Flies by William Golding, accompanied by a piece of verbal; “What you did was wrong, promise me you won’t ever turn to bullying ways.” I made my promise and stuck to it. How things have changed… In my mind, Cody Pine’s action was honourable – it’s a shame the school doesn’t have teachers of Billy McClean’s ilk.  Yours_Aye.