Englishman speaks utter twaddle…

'Good Morning America' TV show, New York, America - 04 Nov 2014Rory Curtis, 25, (obviously left) suffered a serious brain injury and a broken pelvis after his van flipped over on the M42 near Tamworth, Staffordshire, and five vehicles ploughed into it in August 2012. He was placed in an induced coma for six days and when he finally came round he started chatting to nurses in fluent French even though he had not spoken the language in 12 years. The former semi-professional footballer for Stourport Swifts FC also said he did not recognise himself in the mirror as he was convinced he was Oscar-winning actor Matthew McConaughey (obviously right). Englishman wakes from coma speaking fluent French, and thinks he is Matthew McConaughey.

Oh my giddy Aunt – besides forgetting who I was, it would be my worst nightmare to wake up speaking fluent French! The nightmare would turn into a pure ‘terror-mare’ if I woke up speaking French, and thought I was Obama – the stuttering (pardon my ‘French’) clown!   Yours Aye.  It is good to see (and hear in fluent English) that Rory made a full recovery.

Hands splashed with blood

article-2882105-2431F2C000000578-544_964x405This is the man who shot dead two New York police officers in an apparent act of revenge for Eric Garner’s death, law enforcement believes. The 28-year-old shooter, identified by police as Ismaaiyl Abdullah Brinsley, right, from Baltimore, shot his girlfriend on Saturday morning before targeting the cops in Brooklyn then turning the gun on himself, sources told DailyMail.com. According to witnesses, Brinsley walked out of his home with a gun in his hand at 3pm, crept up behind a patrol car, and systematically shot both men in the head – then walked to a subway station and shot himself. It came two hours after he posted a picture of a gun on Instagram with the chilling message: ‘I’m Putting Wings On Pigs Today. ‘They Take 1 Of Ours… Let’s Take 2 of Theirs #ShootThePolice #RIPErivGardner (sic) #RIPMikeBrown. ‘This May Be My Final Post. I’m Putting Pigs In A Blanket.’2421166700000578-2882169-image-a-1_1419116032510 

Two New York cops shot dead execution style ‘in revenge for Eric Garner': Gunman crept up on car an opened fire after boasting ‘they take one of ours let’s take two of theirs’

De Blasio accused of having ‘blood on his hands': Thousands attack New York City Mayor for backing anti-cop protesters before two officers were shot dead ‘in revenge for Garner’242B18A000000578-2882169-image-a-14_1419117106618 

Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik told Newsmax; ‘De Blasio, Sharpton and all those who encouraged this anti-cop, racist mentality all have blood on their hands.’ Harry Houck, a retired NYPD detective, went on CNN to attack both de Blasio and Al Sharpton. ‘I guess Al Sharpton got what he wanted,’ said Houck of the civil rights leader. Thousands attack New York City Mayor for backing anti-cop protesters

Obviously the news over the deaths of the police officers is still unravelling. However; It sickens me to the pit of my stomach to think that two police officers have been executed in the course of their duty in such a cowardly way. It’s not the first time the self appointed Reverend Al Sharpton has had his hands splashed with blood – and no doubt it will not be the last. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour!” Smug hypocritical Barsteward!     Yours Aye

‘Old Nosey’ the ‘Iron Duke’

The Duke of Wellington’s heroes finally win Waterloo memorial on Belgian battlefield – 100 years after the French placed one. It was, perhaps, Britain’s greatest military victory – the ferocious confrontation that finally ended the tyrannical reign of Napoleon Bonaparte.24204EF300000578-2882154-image-a-10_1419117293525Yet 200 years after the Battle of Waterloo, astonishingly there is still no memorial on the site to commemorate the remarkable bravery of the British troops who fought and died there – although there is a memorial to the defeated French. Now that injustice is finally about to be righted. A monument designed by sculptress Vivien Mallock will be opened on the battlefield in Belgium next year.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe work will feature two British soldiers and quotes from the Duke of Wellington, who led the British forces, one reading ‘Next to a battle lost the greatest misery is a battle gained’, the other saying, ‘Never was a place more fiercely assaulted nor better defended’. Standing just over 6ft high, the memorial commemorates the moment when a predominantly British contingent of 4,000 soldiers defended the pivotal location of Hougoumont Farm and its surroundings from a vastly superior French force.800px-Waterloo_derniers_combattantsThe lack of an official memorial for British troops has been a sore point for decades and has fuelled speculation that successive British governments and the Belgium authorities have been reluctant to push the issue for fear of upsetting the French. By contrast, the French have had a memorial on the site (above) called The Wounded Eagle, since 1904.Wellington

 Wellington’s heroes finally win Waterloo memorial on Belgian battlefield

‘Old Nosey’ the ‘Iron Duke’ can stop turning in his grave at the slight cast upon the Coldstream Guards. And about bloody time too – 200 years indeed!       Yours Aye.

Dictator’s sense of humour failure…

2429FC5500000578-0-image-a-23_1418993192350-1George Clooney reveals top Hollywood names refused to sign petition supporting Kim Jong-un assassination movie. Hollywood star George Clooney said fellow celebrities and industry figures did not want to sign a petition supporting ‘The Interview’ film featuring the assassination of Kim Jong-un as they were afraid of the consequences. Clooney said he wanted to see the film released online to undermine the threats of the hacking gang that is now known to be supported by North Korean agents. George Clooney reveals top Hollywood names refused to sign petition Final Scene The Interview

Property of Columbia pictures: ‘The Interview’ What the North Korean hackers didn’t want you to see: End scene from ‘The Interview’

A handful of theaters across the U.S. have also cancelled screenings of ‘Team America’ – the 2004 puppet comedy that parodies former North Korea leader Kim Jong Il, which they planned to run in place of ‘The Interview’ Fortunately I do not give a damn about the over blown grotesque short arsed North Korean Dictator (or the previous one!) So for those of you who wish to be entertained for a few minutes, the following clip for your edification…

5874369_orig“Ok, I wanna place my mid morning snack order” – “Six big Mac’s with double extra cheese, and a double portion of fries with each Mac – I’ll also take a gallon of chocolate milk shake, and don’t forget the straw and serviette’s this time!”  Greedy barsteward – as your own people starve!      Yours Aye

We are what we Eat

Obesity IS a disability! So rules the highest European Union court of Justice, after 5′ 6″ tall – 25st (350 pounds) Danish child-minder Karsten Kartoft was ‘sacked for being too fat to perform his job properly.’24241BC800000578-0-image-a-14_1418901818525Hard-pressed businesses face costly bills after European judges controversially ruled that obesity can be classed as a disability. Companies will be forced to make concessions for overweight staff that could include extra-large office furniture, medical advice or exercise facilities. Firms could also face expensive compensation claims for discrimination if they sack someone for being overweight.  The child-minder took action against his employer after he was sacked for not being able to tie up the shoelaces of the children he cared for!2423534200000578-2878792-The_European_Court_of_Justice_in_Luxembourg_ruled_that_if_obesit-a-12_1418901666369

“Mr Kaltoft, who has a body mass index of 54 – almost twice the official obesity level – said he did not believe he was disabled.” 

The bloated European circus of nonsense & ridiculousness Court of Justice in Luxembourg

It is my own humble opinion that gross obesity is a self-inflicted ‘disability!’ The decision passed down from the buffoons within the European circus of human ridiculousness is totally and utterly absurd – it also insults those with genuine disabilities. The sooner the human rights circus collapses its big tent and heads into liquidation – the better for all of us on this side of the pond. If you are unable to tie your own shoelaces – then have a quick look at the nearest wall, because the writing in plain view states you are not destined to shuffle around this planet for much longer. We are what we eat, the choice is plain and yet so simple!     Yours Aye.

Saudi rifle ‘BOOM’ dance

Saudi Rifle Dance; as demonstrated by ‘Abdul’ and his dancing partner ‘Masoud’ Abdul’s surname is unknown, but hence forth he will always be known as ‘Syedsadell Woncheek!’       Yours Aye.           Please don’t try this at home folks… ;-) 

‘Ten Frenchman don’t make an Englishman’

241DB9C600000578-0-image-a-22_1418827046027How English and German soldiers bonded during WWI Christmas Day Truce by telling jokes about the FRENCH!  An incredible letter from trenches of the First World War by a soldier describing how he organised the famous ‘Christmas Day Truce’ has been unearthed and is expected to fetch £20,000 at auction. Auctioneer Richard Westwood-Brookes holding the letter written by Lance Corporal Willie Loasby.

The eight-page pencilled note was sent by Lance Corporal Willie Loasby of the 2nd Northamptonshire Regiment to his mother on December 27, 1914. The 25-year-old tells how he started shouting to German soldiers who were just 40 yards away in the trenches a few days before Christmas. He explains how he persuaded the enemy not to shoot before bravely walking out into No Man’s Land to meet with a German officer.1FAFFAE900000578-2877651-image-a-50_1418829420538‘Now out steps a German officer and comes up to me. The officer says, after shaking hands and in Good English “Are you all English in front there and no French”. I answered, “All English, no French.” He replied, “I thought so”, then said ‘Ten Frenchman don’t make an Englishman’. I thought: ‘Compliments’ Letter from trenches of the First World War by a soldier describing how he organised the famous ‘Christmas Day Truce’ has been unearthed and is expected to fetch £20,000 at auction.     

 Good grief man! No amount of Frenchmen could ever make a single Englishman. Bah! Humbug!     Yours Aye.

The tale of ‘un œuf pourri.’

The tale of ‘un œuf pourri.’ This morning a kindly soul went out of their way to drop off one dozen free-range eggs onto my doorstep. When I say ‘drop off’ I obviously meant ‘placed the eggs’ within a cardboard egg container onto my doorstep, as I was away walking the canine’s at the time and found them on my return. A simple gesture of gratitude for a small favour I carried out a few days ago, an act I greatly appreciated as it meant scrambled eggs with toast for breakfast would soon follow.Free_Range_Chickens Throughout my adult years I have only ever fallen ‘foul’ of  opening one rotten sulphurous egg (for those among you who have endured the same you will agree, it is ‘un œuf pourri’ too many.) As a young lad under instruction from my Gran I would often dunk eggs in a bowl to test their freshness, which is how I discovered todays rotten little blighter. One out of the dozen bobbed and floated atop the surface, while the remainder slowly sunk like ‘sun-dodgers’ of the silent service – to settle gently on their side. morning_picdump_230_640_20  When ever I drop left over food into the small kitchen waste bin, Nipper religiously follows like a shadow – this time as I dropped the egg into the bin Nipper was nowhere to be seen. A wise choice as it turned out as I was about to suffer through my negligence…dog_nose1-296x300 A human has about 5 million scent glands, compared to a dog, who has anywhere from 125 million to 300 million. TRUE!

The egg cracked open in the bin – just as 5 million of my scent glands detonated and almost forced my gag reflex to its maximum purge (several times!) But I managed to hold on to my early morning ‘pre-amble’ cuppa-char and fig roll – by maintaining a stiff upper lip and arching one eye brow, whilst thinking of Queen and Country – all under the watchful eye of Great Aunt Gertrude’s sepia coloured photograph! Having promptly ditched the bin outside I returned to scratch scrambled eggs from the morning menu, settling instead for fruit and toast for breakfast (sat in a wafting haze of Cotton Fresh Febreeze air freshner.) Three snouts combining 900 million scent glands soon joined me, as the divine smell of fresh toasted bread hit the air…      Yours Aye.

Potatoes – Irish Apples…

23575A1A00000578-2875014-image-m-19_1418672726175Are POTATOES the ultimate diet food? How a chemical compound found in a spud is shown to prevent weight gain. 

Potatoes have long been considered something of an anti-diet food, but new research has found that they may in fact prevent weight gain. According to a new paper published by researchers at McGill University, high potato consumption in mice was shown to decrease body weight gain. The team believes that the findings are due to potatoes’ high concentration of polyphenols – a disease-fighting chemical component found in fruits and vegetables. Potatoes are the ultimate diet food House Brick Just knock me down with a feather… Having just eaten a baked jacket potato the size of an old London house brick (appropriately – with a huge dollop of ‘cottage’ cheese atop it) I can honestly say I’m stuffed. But I can go to bed knowing I’ll wake up lighter and fitter in the morning. Thank you McGill University…      Yours Aye.

Armed ‘CITIZENS’ arrest Alabama style

CITIZENS’ ARREST: Moment burglarized family ‘captured intruders at gunpoint after passing them in the street as they were on the way back from ANOTHER break-in’article-2874669-2412945000000578-673_964x400The Wyatt family’s surveillance system filmed the moment a woman and two men took two TVs and numerous Christmas presents from their home in Warrior, Alabama, last Friday. Just two days later, Chris Wyatt passed all three driving down a road around the corner and recognized who they were. Mr Wyatt, his wife Sarah, and two other relatives ordered them out of the car – apparently full of stolen goods – and held them at gunpoint until police arrived. It is the latest case of vigilante justice in Alabama, where home surveillance systems have soared in popularity over the past two years. CITIZENS’ ARREST: Moment burglarized family ‘captured intruders at gunpoint

My envy goes as green as my beret when I read stories such as this. Oh for the day when the law changes in the UK, and those of us on the correct side of the fence can conduct ourselves in such a way. Sadly such a day cannot come soon enough!      Yours Aye.

Battle of the Bulge 70th Anniversary

Belgian Royalty mark the 70th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge in the Ardennes in snowy weather reminiscent of wintry conditions of the battle. nutsThe country’s King Philippe and his wife, Queen Mathilde, threw nuts into crowds of revellers in homage to the U.S. Army General Anthony McAuliffe (pictured right) who responded: ‘Nuts!’ when confronted with an ultimatum by the German army, Well-wishers dressed in GI uniforms to pay tribute to the American divisions which tirelessly defended the 70-mile stretch of woodland in the 1944 battle, known for having been fought under thick, cold mist.2407B61300000578-2872631-King_Philippe_is_pictured_after_laying_the_floral_wreath_at_a_mo-m-149_1418503214011

More than 10,000 troops were killed in the conflict launched by Hitler in a final bid to infiltrate the west by infiltrating one of its quietest fronts. Over the course of four days from December 16, American divisions of the alliance came under the siege of Nazis, with German troops switching uniforms to cut telephone wires and sabotage their resources.2407161100000578-2872631-image-m-152_1418508078395

After weeks of bloodshed, western forces triumphed in what was hailed by Winston Churchill as ‘an ever-famous American victory’. Dressed in black, the Belgian royal family today braved blizzards and freezing temperatures to lay wreaths at the McAuliffe monument in Bastogne, named after the American general who spearheaded the ferocious defence. Belgian Royalty turned out in blustery wind and snow today to commemorate the Battle of Bulge fought between the Nazis and Allied Forces 70 years ago.82d_poster_photo

The text on the newspaper cut out reads: Dec. 23, 1944 – “Battle of the Bulge” – An entire U.S. armored division was retreating from the Germans in the Ardennes forest when a Sergeant in a tank destroyer spotted an American digging a foxhole. The GI, PFC Martin, 325th Glider Infantry Regiment, looked up and asked, “Are you looking for a safe place?” “Yeah” answered the tanker. “Well, buddy,” he drawled, “just pull your vehicle behind me… I’m the 82nd Airborne, and this is as far as the bastards are going.”

And lets not forget the unsung heroes of the battle whose deeds often go unmentioned, the ‘builders and fighters’ of the 168th Engineer Battalion (Combat). First constituted on 25 February 1943 and activated at Camp Carson (later known as Fort Carson), Colorado on 5 May 1943. The new unit trained and conducted maneuvers at Camp Carson and in Tennessee, prior to deploying to Europe in 1944.

‘The 168th Engineer Battalion landed on Utah Beach, Normandy, France with General George S. Patton’s Third Army in mid-July 1944. Between August 1944 and March 1945, the 168th Engineers fought in France, Belgium, and Germany, transferring between the Third, Ninth, and First Armies. They fought alongside the 7th and 11th Armored Divisions, and the 29th, 106th, 4th, 89th, and 2nd Infantry Divisions.’engineer_bulge02Engineers sweep for mines in the snow during the Ardennes campaign Prior to the Battle of the Bulge, between 17 and 23 December 1944, the 168th Engineers reorganised as infantry and were charged with the defense of St. Vith, Belgium (Sahn-Vee). During the crucial period of the German offensive in the Ardennes in 1944, the 7th Armored Division, of which the 168th Engineers were then an element, was attacked by enemy forces estimated at 8 divisions, among them 3 SS Panzer and 2 Panzer divisions. The Allied forces were subjected to repeated tank and infantry attacks, which grew in intensity as the German forces attempted to destroy the stubborn forces that were denying them the use of the key communication center of St. Vith. The attacking forces were repeatedly thrown back by the gallant troops who rose from their foxholes and fought in fierce hand-to-hand combat to stop the penetrations and inflict heavy losses on the numerically superior foe. The 168th Engineer Battalion, and the 7th Armored Division, inflicted crippling losses and imposed great delay upon the enemy by a masterful and grimly determined defence in keeping with the highest traditions of the Army of the United States. Their performance in the battle earned them the Presidential Unit Citation, the Army’s highest unit award. COMMEMORATING THE BRAVERY OF THE 168th ENGINEER COMBAT BATTALION jewett01

And if you have time for a bloody good read ‘Hinder Forward: The 168th Engineer Combat Battalion’ This is their story, the men of the 168th Engineer Combat Battalion, in their own words, not written by some second guesser working in a quiet and safe modern facility, but by those who were actually there in the heat, the mud, the cold, the bullets, the bombs, the tree bursts and the mines…   True Grit from a generation whose ranks are slowly dwindling through the passage of time. A hearty BZ to one and all.       Yours Aye.

With thanks to ‘CenTexTim’ for the additional prompt, because sometimes we need reminding that we also have a personal library full of books, as well as past memories…

Ladies & Gentlemen-Bottom’s Up!

Trendy new cocktail bar opens in a public toiletsand it’s called ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’ With property prices in central London rising one entrepreneur has converted a former public toilet into a fashionable new bar. By Sam Matthew for MAILONLINE24074B6E00000578-2872763-image-a-52_1418492277568

Will Borrell has opened the aptly named ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’ after an 18 month battle with residents over the abandoned underground restrooms. The businessman, who owns a Polish vodka company, has even named a cocktail ‘Nimby’ (Not In My Back Yard) after the local residents who tried to block the bar in Kentish Town, north-west London.

Mr Borrell has secured a 15 year lease for the former public toilets and has restored the building, which features a pre World War Two marble floor and traditional beams. The toilets and a wall of urinals have also been restored and a kitchen added. ‘We are signing up to a council scheme that means our toilets will be open to the public,’ said Mr Borrell.

“My Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure (and it always will) to welcome you all to this grand lavatorial opening. Pray stand, or remain seated, dependent upon your requirement, and raise your glass and join me in a toast” – “May your public convenience always be flush with success!” – “Bottom’s Up!”     Yours Aye.

Just couldn’t resist it… ;-)

Idle Hands are the devils tools…

SAFARI NOT RESPONDINGToday has been one of those monumental ‘got out of the wrong side of the bed’ days. So many things have gone wrong that I checked to see if it was Friday the 13th! Thank ‘Gawd’ such days are a very rare occurrence – and thank ‘Gawd’ for the rescue centre that provided Hannah and Nipper, as both canines have kept me sane with their comedic antics. Due to the niggling kerfuffle provided by this sites server – I opted for a long walk, followed by an afternoon of ‘make and mend.’ The result of my ‘sew-sew’ skills being three Gortex covered fleece jackets for the canines. Idle Hands are the devils tools…Service UnavailableIn the 14 hours it has taken to connect and post this dit, I could have hopped in the truck and drove to London to catch one of the high-speed Eurostar trains to Paris, enjoyed a meal and cracked a bit of Christmas shopping. Whilst picking up sufficient duty-free alcohol on the return journey to compensate for the fuel used on the entire trip (which would include the price of the train tickets.) Returning home in time to walk the canines, to then put my feet up with a nice glass of red. Connection lost

But! Being an Englishman, why on earth would I want to travel to Paris, when I can spend the Queen’s shilling on better things locally – such as Fish & Chips with a portion of mushy peas…   Yours Aye.

Inspiring teacher Bruce Farrer…

For decades, high school teacher Bruce Farrer has been asking his students to write letters to their future selves. Twenty years later, he tracks down the students – wherever they are in the world – and mails their letters to them. The impact he has had on his students’ lives is profound and heartwarming.

I can relate to this, coming from the pre-digital age and then being cannoned at a pixellated brick wall at over 100 mph. I find it sad that letter writing appears to be lost upon the youth of today. Not in my humble abode I hasten to add.      Yours Aye.

What a load of baubles!

Forget about the Christmas tree! BEARD baubles are the new must-have hipster accessory this Decemberand they’re already selling out! A London advertising agency invented beard baubles as a decoration for their company Christmas card. The facial accessories are now a global hit, with customers in the US and Australia. All proceeds from the baubles go to Beardseason, an initiative to raise awareness for the fight against Melanoma.DECK YOUR BEARDS WITH LOTS OF BAUBLESChristmas-tree-BEARD-baubles-new-hipster-accessory-for-December-selling-out.images

‘Oh my giddy Aunt!’ On a serious note; a big thumbs up for a charitable cause, as all of the proceeds from the facial accessories go to the charity ‘Beardseason.’   Yours Aye.